


Endless Waltz

by Ashbear



Series: Dancing in Time - The First Year [3]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance, Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-17
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 08:39:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 87,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashbear/pseuds/Ashbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One year. Two lives. The path to love isn't always easy, but for Rinoa and Squall there could be no other choice. The series follows the first year of the growing relationship between a sorceress and her knight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eye of the Needle

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Foreword: This story starts approximately six months after the game's end. The first part, Dancing in Time, started during Rinoa's 18th birthday. For those who didn't read Dancing in Time, the concept is based around the first year of Squall and Rinoa's relationship. There are no 'major' enemies or threats. The story itself is the relationship and how the two deal with growing as a couple and as individuals. Each chapter is usually its own story (on occasion, an arc may spread through two or three chapters), but they are all tied to each other by time.

_July 5th _

A cold wet sensation scared her from whatever traces of slumber remained. Rinoa opened her eyes only to be greeted by a soulful puppy face. She groaned realizing that any further attempt at sleep would definitely prove futile. Angelo whined in protest of her master's apparent neglect of her needs. The young woman no longer was in charge of her own destiny; she was fated to serve the whims of her furry roommate.

Rinoa started to sit up only to notice she was still wearing her formal from the night before. She grimaced looking down at the pattern deeply imprinted on her arm. It was an exact replica of the beading on her gown's bodice; apparently she had slept with her arm tucked under her stomach. The act of moving proved difficult as every muscle in her body cried out in pain. Still, falling asleep on the rooftop with Squall was worth any amount of discomfort. It wasn't until the early morning hours when the two had made the way back to their separate rooms. She remembered vaguely opening the door and then willing her legs to carry her to the bed before collapsing helplessly.

Managing to sit up further, she saw the single red rose placed on her nightstand. Rinoa had awoken earlier, if only enough to glance at the flower and card. She would always remember the words printed on it, "Whatever – Forever." It was so simple, so unique, something that was truly Squall.

Her mind again wandered back to the memories of the previous evening. She remembered the way they danced together, the fears each had admitted, and most of all, falling asleep in her knight's arms. It had been an emotional journey over the last twenty four hours and her mind was clouded with some of the remnants. She still feared for the unknown effects of her powers and the possible retribution of the White SeeDs. However, more than ever, she understood her battle was never to be fought alone.

She thought back to the last four months living at Balamb Garden and treasured them dearly. In that time she had grown from an adolescent into the role of a young adult. The months had provided a limited amount of time for change, but she was proud of her accomplishments. Working as Cid's assistant also taught her valuable lessons about accountability. In Timber she had played a vital role with the Forest Owls, but this was something completely different. Her goals and ideals never wavered, but she was learning to balance the obligations of a job along with responsibility of being a sorceress.

Of course there was also the matter of a certain Squall Leonhart. He was a subject that had so many intricate layers; it would take a bulldozer to unearth them all. It was a subject that both excited and scared her. She loved him. It was that simple. It wasn't like anything she had ever experienced before and sometimes their connection was overwhelming. She could only imagine how he struggled to deal with their budding relationship. It was his strength she admired, both physical and mental. People would often say that he was changing, she never once believed that. He was growing. Growing into a man made up of many different facets.

A disgruntled 'yelp' brought her out of her reverie. It was apparent that Angelo certainly wasn't in the mood to reminisce or reflect about life, the canine just wanted to go outside. Rinoa smiled and offered her furry companion an apologetic scratch behind the ear.

"Sorry, girl."

The dog responded by laying her head between her two front paws as two eyes silently encouraged her master to hurry. Rinoa took another glance down at her attire; it certainly would look odd to walk through the halls of Garden in a formal. Angelo was going to have to be patient a tad bit longer while she changed. Finally dragging herself completely out of bed, she started to head toward the dresser. Unfortunately for Angelo, she never quite made it to her destination as someone knocked at her door.

"Just one more minute, promise," Rinoa sighed eyeing the dog in sympathy.

The young woman managed to step over Angelo, who seemed determined _not_ to help in her master's quest. Rinoa opened the door to see both Selphie and Irvine outside, to which Angelo whined audibly. Those two humans never stopped talking; this was going to take forever!

It wasn't exactly great timing on Rinoa's part either. Both of them would certainly want an explanation of why she was still wearing her clothes from the previous night. Although the reason was completely innocent, she could already mentally hear Irvine's highly suggestive remarks.

"Rinoa?" Selphie questioned suspiciously examining her attire. "Has the cafeteria changed the dress code for breakfast?"

"Well, somebody must have had an interesting night," Irvine stated with a knowing grin and an obvious wink.

The cowboy was silenced with an elbow to the stomach. The blow wasn't hard, just enough for him to understand the comment wasn't appreciated in the least. Rinoa had to smile inwardly, sometimes she just loved Selphie dearly.

"Irvine Kinneas, don't even start after what you did last night! You're already walking a fine line, buddy."

"What, what did I do?" Irvine questioned earnestly. Of course he may 'have done' many things at the party. He just wasn't positive which one his girlfriend's comment was in reference to.

"Men," Selphie said in huff crossing her arms.

"Sorry to break up the fun guys, but I really need to get changed. Angelo has to go out."

"Irvine will take her," Selphie announced pushing her way forward into the sorceress' room.

"I will?"

"Yeah, after last night, it's the least you can do."

The young girl gave a squinted glare back in the cowboy's direction. The look would have induced fear in bravest of SeeDs. Rinoa could actually see him outwardly wince in terror.

"I'm sorry, Selph, really I am. It won't happen again."

"Sure, that's what you said last time!" Selphie flung her arms up, disgusted by her boyfriend's behavior. "Just take Angelo out, before the pair of you end up being swatted on the nose with a newspaper."

"Come on, girl," called Irvine motioning Angelo to follow. The canine happily walked out wagging her stub of a tail. The dog figured at least one human had a brain around here.

After Irvine and Angelo were on their way, Rinoa closed the door heading back to the dresser. Of course the sorceress was curious and just had to ask the obvious, "Selphie, _what_ exactly did Irvine do last night?"

"I don't know." The other girl smiled innocently flopping down on the bed. "I'm sure plenty of things, this way he'll feel guilty about _all_ of them."

"So you mean… you really don't know what you're talking about?"

"Nah, but if he's feeling **that** guilty he must have done something. So I figure it evens out the karma in the universe."

"You're very…"

"…clever, ingenious, brilliant?"

"Not exactly the direction I was heading, but we'll stick with that for now." Rinoa shook her head in disbelief.

Selphie in return leaned back on her elbows as she kicked her feet back and forth. The girls made eye contact and couldn't help but giggle at the situation.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side, you scare me sometimes," Rinoa managed as she finished retrieving her clothing. "I'm just going to run into the bathroom. I've got to get out of this thing."

"No prob."

When she was nearly changed, Rinoa called into the living area, "Selphie, I know you are dying to ask me, so just do it already."

"Ask what?" Selphie said as sweetly as she could.

Rinoa walked out carrying her formal, which she then tossed haphazardly over a nearby chair. The sorceress eyed the other girl placing a hand on her hip.

"You know Selphie, what you came here to ask. What you're _dying_ to ask me. About last night."

"Hey, I didn't come here to ask anything!" Selphie hid behind an over exaggerated smile.

"Uh… huh don't feign innocence with me. It really doesn't suit you," Rinoa grinned. "Maybe if you hadn't just confessed that you have Irvine apologizing in circles and you don't even know what he did… I might buy the whole act a little more!"

"Oh yeah, right, that…" Selphie smiled standing up. Placing both hands behind her back, she began to shift her weight from one foot to the other. "Okay, okay, I'm dying to ask you about last night! I mean…do you know what Squall did and why he did it? And what happened after he left the dance? I mean, I assume he found you… and wait, why did you leave in the first place? Everyone went to look for you two and then he didn't answer his mobile, Squall _never_ does that! Not to mention you're still wearing the same dress and…" Selphie trailed off taking a moment to breathe; she had somehow managed to ask all that in a single breath.

"Selphie, I," Rinoa began. How was she going to explain all this? She had some answers, but others she was still trying to figure out herself. She doubted she could truly articulate the situation, even if she wanted.

"You know what Rin, forget it. I mean, I want to know. **Of course,** I want to know…but I can tell by… well, I can just tell. You don't have to tell me until you're ready. Just say you and Squall are all right? Please?"

"We're doing fine, Selphie."

"Good… If you need someone to talk to, you know I'm always here."

Rinoa smiled relieved by her friend's understanding. "You're first on my list, okay?"

"I better be!" Selphie smiled brightly and added hopefully, "Sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Not yet, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. That really wasn't the only reason we came up here. Well, okay, it was _one_ of the reasons, I'm only human! But you know how my birthday is coming up? Well, I have this really big, huge, gigantic, enormous…wait did I already say huge? Never mind, it doesn't matter… Anyway, I have a favor to ask you…and Squall."

* * *

It made no difference his age or stature, being called into a superior's office still felt just as intimidating. Being commander had no bearing on the situation. In fact, it made it that much worse. He was supposed to uphold the regulations set forth by Garden and in any other situation he would have done just that. But there were mitigating circumstances, something that went beyond reasonable control. Sure he might be able to explain that to the headmaster, but the rest of the populous of Garden would never comprehend.

To them, all they would ever see was their commander verbally berating a White SeeD officer. Then to top off the public display, he disobeyed Cid's direct order by walking out of the ballroom. The rest of Garden could never see him as a knight in defense of a sorceress; the world wasn't ready for that when the wounds of war had not healed.

He wondered if Cid had purposely made him wait alone in the office as some type of mental rehabilitation. The headmaster often didn't work weekends, instead he returned to the orphanage to aid Edea in the restoration. This just made the anxiety that much greater. In the past Squall had broken rules, either blatantly or from being egged on by a secondary party. But he always accepted the fault and today was no different. He wasn't going to hide behind titles or pretenses; there was too much honor at stake.

What happened at the dance last night was unavoidable, though the timing could have proven more fortunate. The fact remained that the White SeeDs were still in existence and to them the sorceress remained the foremost threat. He honestly couldn't deny their reasoning. He himself had been to the future and had seen the countless SeeDs who had fallen at the hands of Ultimecia. Still, that history was no longer set in stone. He wasn't one to debate the relatively of the future timelines, that certainly wasn't his area of expertise. His allegiance laid to the continued survival of Balamb Garden, and most importantly, to the training and survival of Rinoa Heartilly.

Still the whole situation laid before him caused quite the paradox. He would take whatever punishment Cid believed fit and accept with dignity. As long as Rinoa had found peace within herself, this punishment would be acceptable.

* * *

It didn't surprise Rinoa when she hadn't seen Squall around the halls of Garden. Part of her wished that he had come to talk to her, but she knew that was more for reassurance on her part. It was well into the evening and nobody had seen him since he left the meeting with Cid. She had already tried both his office and the training center, though she thought that the latter might have been more logical. She even wondered if he had gone off campus into the plains of Balamb for solitude, it would have been typical of him.

She had heard from pretty much everybody that he was summoned to the Headmaster's office. That didn't come as a surprise. However, what did was to hear the details of the graduation dance the night before. Squall was not the type to provoke someone like Commander Weatherly; however he was also not the type to back down. She had to admit, though she would never openly say, that she felt a certain happiness when she heard he had defended sorceresses. Of course the general public thought he was referencing his adoptive matron, Edea. But Rinoa knew differently, he defended both of their honors.

Squall was not the type to seek her out in a situation like this. He usually dealt with such matters by himself, though she didn't blame him. That was just who he was. She never expected him to come running to her every time something was wrong. She was always very careful to allow him his space. The only difference this time is that most of the guilt lay squarely on her shoulders. For whatever punishment he would have to follow, she took the blame.

It hadn't helped that she spent the last few hours pacing her dorm. Which given the small size, wasn't the easiest of tasks. It was Saturday night and she wondered if this had not happened would they have been spending the evening together? Zell had already stopped by her room trying to lift her spirits, but had no idea where the commander had gone. Out of desperation she had tried to call Quistis, but that too turned out to be a dead end. Squall again had decided to turn his mobile off, a very un-Squall like move. Irvine and Selphie had rechecked the training center, and had even driven half way to the coast. It seemed that the man was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until a second conversation with Zell that an important question was raised by the martial artist, "Did you check his room?"

It might have seemed the most obvious, but Squall rarely spent time in his apartment; the place was rather barren beside from a bed, a desk, and a chair. In fact, Rinoa often thought Squall went out of his way to avoid the place, though she could never figure out why. However through all of their searching, nobody had ever suspected that he would simply be at home. It seemed much more feasible that he would either immerse himself in his job or a grueling workout.

She quickly made her way up to his place hoping that he would be there. Then again, if he had wanted her company, he would have sought her out. This was one of those situations she was torn between. Still since their conversation last night, she believed they understood each other better. She also felt that, to some degree, she was allowed to worry about her boyfriend.

When he answered the door she managed a "Hey." It wasn't the most eloquent, but it was all she could think of after hours of worrying.

"Hey yourself."

Apparently Squall had just as much difficultly articulating given the circumstances. Oh well, at least her next statement would come out with more clairvoyance.

"Um…did you…um…talk to Cid?"

Yeah, apparently not.

"Do you want to come in?" Squall asked never breaking his emotional front.

"Yeah, that is…if you're sure. I mean if you want me to come in," she said knowing that again she was intruding on his life and sounding rather pathetic while doing it.

"You know, we're going to have to get beyond this someday," Squall replied showing the tiniest hint of a smile.

"So…um about the meeting today?"

He closed the door and stated simply, "Come here."

He stretched his right hand arm outward, offering it to her. She looked at him in the eyes, before accepting his hand. He gently pulled her closer, taking a step forward to meet her. She instantly relaxed when she felt his arms around her. It was these simple moments that they treasured when there were no words or fears, just the comfort of one another's breath. After uncounted seconds in that position he was the first to speak.

"You know, I was expecting you here hours ago."

She giggled softly into his chest, "It's rather a funny…long story."

He moved his head back so he was looking her in the eyes.

"Funny, huh?"

"Very."

It was the only word she could manage before his lips pressed against hers. She moved forward as he continued holding her firmly. His arms held her tightly as one of his hands followed the trail of her backbone, the other finding a resting spot on her neck. She was getting lost as he was deepening the kisses, and then something dawned on her.

She regretfully broke away making eye contact. "Squall Leonhart, you're stalling!"

"Maybe," he answered catching his breath, "Is it working?"

"Unfortunately," she answered before leaning in for another kiss. Part of her knew she should continue to ask him about the meeting, but a bigger part just was so lost in the feeling. It wasn't that they didn't kiss often, though really they didn't. It was just one of those times when she felt he was less guarded.

"Squall?" she gasped between kisses.

"Mmm?"

"Please, meeting?"

He stopped abruptly and she immediately regretted pushing the subject. Earlier Selphie had shown her respect, now she couldn't even do the same to him. It was different, right? It had to be different.

"Fine," he answered. Positioning himself to where he was only holding her right hand, he carefully wrapped his fingers around it. "Just remember that it was my decision. I don't want you to blame yourself." Even as he said the words, he knew that she would. It was just their personalities. If it had been reversed, he would have taken full responsibility without a doubt.

"Oh God, it's that bad."

He placed a finger over her lips and silenced her. "I want you to listen to _everything_ I'm going to say, all right." She nodded. "Believe it or not, the headmaster understands. It doesn't mean that he can let it go unpunished, but he did stress to me he understood. Our situation is…well, highly unique. As far as the student body knows, I've been suspended for ten days."

"Ten days, Squall I'm-"

"Rinoa, stop." He could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "You're just too damn stubborn to listen, aren't you?"

She forged a smile, though it was extremely difficult. She blamed herself for their emotional connection. She should have been able to control her fears when faced with the White SeeDs.

"Remember, I said listen to everything. If you start doing this now, you're going to second guess every decision either one of us makes. Do you remember last night?"

"Yes, of course Squall, I've never been able to talk with someone like that."

"Me either and that's why I've accepted the punishment. Rin, I can still work. I just have to do it from my apartment. To keep appearances, it has to look like I'm completely suspended. Think of it this way, working down here I won't get distracted by Cid's beautiful assistant. I was getting up the courage to ask her out."

"That's not even funny." Her answer was the combination of a cry and laugh.

"Why, do you think she'd say no?" He raised an eyebrow completely serious.

"You bet she would with that attitude, mister."

"Well, damn I was going to see if she wanted to get some dinner tonight. But since I'd be shot down, I better not even try."

He started to walk away, but she still held onto his hand. With a slight amount of force she pulled him back. "However," she started moving closer, "I could put in a good word for you. If you ask nicely that is."

He didn't respond verbally only pulled her into another kiss. It wasn't as forceful as the others, but still was passionate in nature. She managed to lose her footing and ended up stumbling back toward the wall. He didn't seem to be distracted by her movements and managed to follow relatively well.

"All right, she'll have dinner with you."

He smirked at her reaction. He had to admit there was a part of him that enjoyed seeing her flustered at times. It was certainly never an effect he thought he would have on the opposite gender, but he couldn't deny that there was definitely a sense of satisfaction with the results.

It was then he made a mental checklist, cursing that he really had nothing eatable in his apartment. One of these days he was going to do some decent shopping, food and otherwise. The idea of driving to Balamb didn't sound that intriguing, but the thought of more cafeteria food appealed to him even less.

He hadn't honestly planned on going anywhere tonight. Although he was comfortable with her, he didn't truthfully want to hear the whispers of gossip. They had always shown respect for his position and abilities, but he wasn't sure how much of that may have been lost. He spent a lifetime trying to merely hide among the shadows, he still didn't deal with the spotlight well.

But he also felt that if he stayed here, he'd be punishing Rinoa. And for what? What had she done beside stand beside him? He knew that she probably endured more gossip than he did and she still carried a positive outlook. God, he admired that in her. The best thing he could do was just ignore the talk and be himself, he could do nothing more or nothing less. At least driving into town would be different and getting away from this place would be welcome change.

"Feel like going to Balamb?"

"Love to," Rinoa replied wrapping both arms around him. "You're driving."

"Of course, I've already gone through my share of torture today," he retorted in jest, pulling away.

"Oh that hurt," she shot back scrunching her nose at him. With that, he finally allowed her to see a genuine smile.

The drive to Balamb was about twenty minutes, which passed in relative silence. They had a habit of doing that when in a car together, though he found it to be one of those small things he really appreciated about her. It seemed that both of them would rather listen to music than to discuss idle chitchat. He thought about his suspension and his conversation with the headmaster. He was telling Rinoa the truth that he wouldn't have changed a thing, but that didn't mean he wished last night hadn't transpired differently. He kept going over every detail to see if there was something he could have handled more professionally and less emotionally.

The one thing that he kept coming back to was their connection. How they could sense the other's moods and emotions, only at given times. It always seemed to act as a catalyst to some horrific event. Somehow he needed to be able to separate her emotions from his. He knew the key would be in training and together they could sort out needed emotions from those that were superfluous.

Once they arrived in Balamb, they settled on a small restaurant that specialized in foreign cuisine. Rinoa knew how much Squall enjoyed Dollet style deep-dish pizza, and she too was growing to like it. Only if he would add a few more vegetables on the massive pile of meat, though she knew that wasn't likely to happen anytime in this century.

After the waiter left, Rinoa found herself fiddling with her cloth napkin. Not really for any reason, more just something to keep her mind occupied. Squall on the other hand, took a sip of his drink and then swirled the ice cubes around just to watch them spin. It was apparent that neither of them knew what to say.

He had almost wished that they had stayed at his apartment, he was positive there may have been a can of condensed chicken noodle soup in his cabinet. At least they seemed not to have such a communication problem there. Then again, they did spend half of the time making out while they were there tonight. That wouldn't exactly be appropriate at the moment, though he thought it would at least be entertaining. Still if they had stayed at his place and eaten that godforsaken soup, maybe they would be in each other's arms now. It would certainly better than staring at frozen water.

"Squall?"

He heard his name and looked toward Rinoa, it was apparent it wasn't the first time she had called him. She was staring at him with concern and he suddenly felt like a trapped animal. It wasn't as if he was drifting off into random thoughts, they were specifically about her. Still he didn't want to elaborate where his mind was at that moment.

"I'm fine."

Rinoa smiled seemingly satisfied with his answer. "Do you want to tell me what's on your mind?"

He paused for a second. While he wasn't going to mention his thoughts about his apartment, he could mention what he had thought about in the car. They needed to start training together.

"I'm thinking about Monday."

"You mean not going into your office?" she questioned not understanding his statement.

"No, I was actually thinking how mad at me you're going to be, so I'd better enjoy tonight."

"What are you talking about? Why in the world would I be mad at you Monday?"

"Because that's when our first official training session starts. I don't know how you're going to like me as a teacher."

"Monday, really?" She let out a small giggle. She remembered him saying something on the roof about wanting to understand their connection. In reality, she would feel much better about it too - if it was something controllable. "If you teach anything like you did up in Trabia, I won't be mad at you, I'll be bored to death by Tuesday."

"That hurts," he spoke emotionlessly.

"Hey, I'm only speaking of what I know…what Zell knows…what a class full of junior cadets know…"

"You're just jealous because those kids loved me."

"Yeah, they _loved you_ when I put a Silence spell on you, then forced you to give them piggyback rides."

"See, they still loved me."

"All right, you remember it _your_ way, I'll remember it mine." Rinoa reached over and patted his hand, which was resting on top of the table. "But either way, I'll be looking forward to training with you. Any clues about what we're going to do?"

"It's a surprise, just dress appropriately."

"Um, how am I supposed to 'dress appropriately' when I don't know what we're doing? And what's your definition of 'appropriate' anyhow. Black leather?"

"Black leather is appropriate anytime. Don't you know that by now?" Then he added in a serious tone, "You should see my swim trunks."

She couldn't help but to laugh openly, she loved his dry humor. It was something she had learned about him from the beginning, when they first toured Garden during Ultimecia. He always had a sense of humor; it just wasn't used often and even then, it was hard to detect.

The waiter delivered their pizza a few minutes later and the rest of the meal was eaten with minor conversation. They discussed a few SeeD related odds and ends, like hiring a new chef for the cafeteria, the possibility of Garden going mobile for maintenance, and details of the field exam the day before. She finally mentioned how everyone was looking for him today, but ironically, nobody checked his room. However, she didn't mention the favor Selphie wanted; she figured she would save that for Monday. He had already gone through enough torment today.

They made it back to Garden before curfew and he escorted her to her dorm. Rinoa didn't have to invite him inside; he automatically walked in when she opened the door. It was a small step. He was feeling more comfortable around her tonight, now if she could just pass that same barrier at his doorstep.

He glanced at his watch and knew he needed to leave soon if he was to get back to his apartment before curfew. Still, there was time for a goodbye kiss. He didn't like to admit he was looking forward to such things. There was an excitement and newness that he felt every time they touched. Part of him wanted to explore it further. The more logical side of him was still overwhelmed by the emotions to a point that it scared him – because he was not in complete control of his actions.

"I need to head back."

"I know," she replied, as they faced one another in the dimly lit room.

"Be ready for Monday."

"You too. Believe it or not, I can be a very stubborn student."

"I'd expect no less."

She was the one to stand on her tip toes, placing a small kiss on his lips. They gave each other a few more pecks before she moved away. She smiled shyly, unsure of his reaction.

"Apparently, I need to teach you to say goodnight a little better," he softly spoke before grabbing her around the waist and pulling her forward.

She hardly had time to react before they were engaged in a kiss, one that grew more passionate by the second. She moved her hands slowly up his bicep letting every centimeter of his arm become part of her memory. He in return was fascinated by the way her lips felt against his, the scent of her perfume, the softness of her hair. He was fascinated by her mere touch. He had felt so close to her emotionally over the last days, now he was feeling the bond physically. There was part of him that didn't want to stop at the kissing, part of him that desperately wanted to experience more. She had not turned on the lights. In the darkness he felt a type of desire, one that seemed to manifest itself when he felt blanketed by the shadows.

It was then a well-timed (or not so well-timed) bark emanated from the corner. Rinoa heard the cry and knew that she needed, once again, to take Angelo outside. She didn't want to stop, but knew that this would eventually have to come to an end.

Squall also seemed to have understood the message, being brought back into reality by the sound. He gave her one more kiss, tracing her jaw line with this his thumb. With a nod, he smiled before finally mouthing the word, "goodnight." It wasn't the first time Angelo had interrupted them. He didn't know whether to be grateful or angry. But for the moment, it was for the best.


	2. One Small Step

_July 7_ _th _

_Knock…_

_Knock, knock, knock…_

_Bang, bang, bang!_

Rinoa's eye flew open and she tried to catch her breath. She could literally feel her heart racing in her throat. It took her a second to gain her bearings and to figure out why she had awoken in such a dazed state. However, it didn't take long to remember. Whoever was pounding feverishly on her door started relentlessly doing it again. The person on the other side better have a damn good reason for waking her up this early.

She grumbled inaudibly glancing at her alarm clock. It was only twenty minutes until her first alarm went off, she wouldn't have managed much more sleep anyhow. But twenty minutes was _twenty minutes_ and she needed every last one of them.

This was all seeming like a very bad case of déjà vu. Of course what made today's interruption worse by tenfold, was the fact it was a workday. The sorceress usually didn't even think straight until after her second cup of coffee.

Managing to stumble from under her sheets, Rinoa looked back toward Angelo. Who, unlike yesterday, seemed in no hurry to leave the comfort of the bed. In fact, the canine stretched out as if to say, "Ha, you got up. Your spot is mine!"

Forgoing all concerns about appearance, Rinoa answered the door. Not too surprisingly on the other side was a ridiculously energetic Selphie. How could someone be so happy all the time? Was it scientifically possible that Selphie had found a way to replace her blood with caffeine? It appeared the only logical explanation at times.

"Rinoa, you need to come with me now!"

"What's wrong?"

"The cafeteria, you gotta come eat breakfast with me! _**Now!"**_

"Please tell me you're kidding. You honestly just didn't wake me up this early, on a Monday, to go to the cafeteria?"

"Don't be silly. I woke Quistis up first, her room was closer!"

"Of course," Rinoa grumbled, "How inefficient of me to think otherwise."

Selphie waved it off, this was important. "Just hurry up and get dressed, you're not going to believe it."

"What won't I believe? You know what – scratch that. I'll find out in a minute. Just let me toss on some clothes."

Rinoa settled on a pair of jeans and red t-shirt. Thankfully there would still be time after breakfast to come back, shower, and get dressed properly. It would be easier without the vigilant eyes of Selphie upon her. She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail letting small tendrils highlight her face. She debated on whether to put on any makeup, as it was the cafeteria…still she quickly applied a little blush, eye shadow, and lip gloss. Just in case – _in case of what_ still remained a mystery.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she was nearly tackled by Selphie who grabbed her arm and dragged her out. Rinoa barely had time to close her door as she felt the petite girl's death grip yanking her forward.

"Selph, I'm obviously coming. Can you please let go of my arm? I think you're cutting off my circulation. Seriously, I can't feel my fingers. That can't be good."

"Sorry, but you just have to see this!"

"Something tells me I don't want to know…" Rinoa hesitated, mentally picturing a _worse case Selphie scenario_. "You didn't do anything… um, _bad_ to Irvine and leave him in a compromising position for public display in the cafeteria, right?"

"No! But I like how evilly you think. I knew we are friends for a reason!" Selphie blurted out extremely loud. The two girls received glances from others walking the corridors. Rinoa tried to smile and ignore their sideways glares, though she did feel really awkward.

"Selphie, can you please tell me why I'm going to the cafeteria this morning?"

"Breakfast, duh!"

Rinoa placed her hands over her face. "You're doing this to me on purpose, aren't you?"

"Me?" Selphie feigned innocence.

Rinoa stopped dead in her tracks. Placing her hands on her hips, she gave her friend that look of "Don't mess with me; I haven't had my daily pot of coffee."

"Fine, fine," Selphie laughed. "I'll tell you if you just walk with me."

Rinoa shook her head, at least if she continued forward she'd be closer to the caffeine. That was the only reason her feet weren't firmly planted in place.

"There is a new guy in the cafeteria!"

"Seriously… you dragged me down because there is a _new guy_ in the cafeteria!"

"Yes, seriously I did. You should see him. In fact, I'm going to make sure you see him! I mean…just… wow…"

"Do you hear yourself? Either you have been hanging around Irvine too much or I woke up in a parallel universe. Either way, I could have slept for twenty minutes more!"

"Rinoa… he is very cute."

The two girls rounded the hallway to the cafeteria. "Yes, Selph I'm sure he's cute."

Selphie stopped and reached out grabbing Rinoa's wrist once again. With every syllable she seemed to shake it as to accentuate her point. "No, Rinoa he really is cute... I mean _beyond_ cute... he's... well... whatever is beyond cute. I don't mean cute as in _Sir-Laguna-kind-of-cute._ I mean in that other way of cute."

"I'm not positive what 'Sir Laguna kind of cute' is," Rinoa inwardly winced after hearing herself say those particular words. It felt wrong on so many levels. "Selphie you do realize that you are now forcing me to think of my boyfriend's father as 'cute.' I'm pretty sure if Squall heard me say that, it would seriously complicate our relationship. But if you are saying cafeteria guy is cute... I'm sure he is."

"Okay, well maybe 'cute' isn't right... I mean he has that foreign charm that you read about in cheesy romance novels. You just look at him and can't help but stare... Seriously, it is like some carnal instinct. It is almost scary... really."

They entered the cafeteria where the line literally snaked through the tables. Rinoa wondered for a moment if they were serving hotdogs for breakfast, though highly unlikely. Maybe everyone was just hungry the Monday after the dance… maybe?

"Look at this line. I knew we should have hurried more! See how fast the word gets around Garden! I tell you this is the biggest news at Garden since Quistis and Squall!"

"What?" Rinoa responded flabbergasted by the comment.

"No, no, no… I mean the Trepies and Quistis… and Squall and his big gunblade duel with Seifer. Geesh, glad I didn't say Seifer and Squall."

Rinoa rolled her eyes. She certainly was far from a morning person, and Selphie this early was just a little too much cheerful for anyone. "Selph, have you stopped to hear yourself talk? I mean has Irvine heard you?"

"Yes, Irvine has heard me, it's not like I haven't heard him make comments about women. It's completely natural..." Selphie smirked evilly, "At least that's the line he's always giving me, nice to say it back and mean it for once."

"You guys have the most dysfunctional relationship that works out perfectly. Do you know that?"

"Hehe, I know. Don't worry I don't think Irvine's serious or anything. I think I'd actually worry more if Irvine _didn't_ look... It is Irvine after all. Don't tell me you never look at other guys."

"Me?" How did this conversation take such an abrupt turn? Really, why couldn't she be sleeping right now? She made a mental note never to answer her door again. Ever.

"Cute, Rinoa... the innocence thing doesn't work on me."

"Whatever," Rinoa answered stealing a tried and true line from her boyfriend's repertoire. "Sure, I might notice guys. I'm human you're right, but never past a second or anything. The last person to make me completely speechless was Squall... and trust me, he does that quite often."

"We should ask him his secret."

"Hey, Pot meet Kettle. Plus, this isn't about me... this is about you and your 'Cafeteria Guy Infatuation.' Which by the way, I may say seems completely unhealthy."

"His name's Carl."

"Rigghtt… _Carl_. If there is a section dedicated to him on the Garden Square, don't expect me to say anything nice."

"Trust me, there would be a hundred girls standing in line to leave him a personal message, so no worry there. It's not an infatuation; I'm just saying I have a reason to actually show up for three meals a day in the cafeteria...on time."

The two girls continued waiting in line. Rinoa once and awhile would glance into the crowd. Honestly, she was trying to see if she could spot Squall. Would he even bother showing up this morning in such a public venue? Selphie, on the other hand, had her eagle eyes scanning the masses in search of the new guy, who presently was unaccounted for. Apparently though, Selphie was right about one thing, there was a sizeable amount of the female population who seemed to be made up more than normal. Rinoa remembered Squall saying something about hiring a new guy to work in the cafeteria when they went to Balamb, but didn't think any more about it. Still she figured that something like this was big news at Garden, new instructors and staff from the public sector were rather rare.

Finally they reached the front and Rinoa grabbed a tray. She could hardly see how one person there would make such a difference. "You know, the guy is working in the Balamb Garden Cafeteria... I don't think his career goals are exactly looking towards the Dollet Culinary Institute."

"I'm offended," Selphie replied. The SeeD then placed her hand on her forehead and acted as if she was going to pass out from the comment.

"It's not like I don't work here," Rinoa laughed at her friend's behavior. "But seriously Selphie, if you want a career in the military you join SeeD. If you want to be a world renowned chef… well, you don't."

* * *

The two made it through line without much further ado. Though Rinoa did notice that today in place of her usual pancakes, the cafeteria offered crepes with fresh strawberry filling. She wasn't sure if this was because of the new worker or not, but at least it was a welcome change for a Monday. The girls started to head towards their 'usual' table in the back, which oddly most people tended to avoid. She didn't know if it was out of respect or fear, but at least they never had to search for a place to sit.

Again, the cafeteria seemed to be overflowing with students. It appeared that the entire population (or at least the females) were all stuffing themselves into the area. Someone ran by and accidentally knocked Rinoa off balance. She tried to regain her footing, but knew inevitably the tray would crash land on the floor.

Rinoa took a deep breath preparing for the embarrassment that was destined to follow. At that moment, a young man showed up grabbing the tray and studying her in one fluid motion. He was definitely older than them, probably ten years their senior. Still he did hold that mysterious air that Selphie had mentioned.

"Oh wow you really are…" Rinoa found herself starting to say, but immediately willed her mouth to shut the hell up.

"Are what, madam?" His distinct accent intensified the ambiguity surrounding him. She could hear Selphie sigh behind her and tried not to start laughing.

"Um... wow you are really quick with that service," Rinoa said in one hurried breath.

He smiled politely, "May I escort you and your beautiful companion to your table? It would be an honor if the two of you would allow me to carry your trays."

"I... I would hate to impose... you are busy here." Rinoa could feel the attention of the student body upon her. The last thing she needed was to add more kindling for the fire. She was positive the rumors would already start to fly. Why did everything she do have to be examined under a microscope?

"It is no bother. In my country, it would be a crime for two such lovely ladies to go unescorted in such an environment."

Rinoa tried to smile as Selphie giggled in the background.

"It's a cafeteria!" A voice angrily said from behind them. "A freakin' cafeteria!"

"Zell!" Selphie slapped him on the arm as he made his way towards the trio. "Show some respect! This gracious man is offering to carry our food for us. When is the last time you have done something so gentlemen-like?"

"So you'd suddenly would look up to me if I carried your food?" The martial artist was not about to back down from this, his manly pride was on the line.

"Well it might be worth a try," Selphie shot back.

"Fine. No problem. I will." Zell answered curtly.

Carl smiled with a slight bow, offering the trays to the blond man. "It would be an insult for me not to extend this opportunity to you."

Zell instinctively reached forward seizing both trays, which was not an easy task. It was then the realization had set in. Now his hands were full while Mr. Accent's were completely free.

This man was sly, very sly.

"Now ladies, since I do not have the honor of carrying your food, may I escort you to your seats?"

In one precise movement, he turned interlocking both Rinoa and Selphie's arms with his. It took every ounce of Zell's willpower not to toss crepes on this guy's head. _Nobody_ had rubbed him this badly since the day he met Irvine at Galbadia Garden. Yet, that was different. This guy just seemed...well somehow you put an accent on a guy, dark hair, throw in the ability to cook, and half of the school thinks he is the greatest invention since hotdogs. Okay, Zell bet the guy could make some damn fine hotdogs, but that was beside the point. Although again, they would probably be damn fine.

* * *

The group, minus Squall, was almost done with breakfast. Most of the table no longer focused on the newest addition to Garden. Save for Zell and Irvine who seemed mildly aggravated by the female students fawning towards Carl. Quistis' only comment was at least he had better manners than the last cafeteria lady, who seemed to despise her job with every slab of meatloaf served.

Selphie drained the last of her juice, "Hey Rinoa, if you're not busy want to watch a movie tonight?"

"I can't, sorry. I'm supposed to be training with Squall."

"Training?" Quistis asked removing the napkin from her lap.

"What does one _train_ with Squall for," Selphie hinted with a wry laugh.

"That's it. Absolutely no more time with Irvine."

"Sorry Rin, I just had to get it out of my system. Really though, you guys working on weapon training or what?"

"Well no…" Rinoa quieted her voice making sure that only her friends could hear. "He's worried about my sorceress skills. So going to be working on magic, I guess… I'm not sure what he has planned exactly."

Selphie turned to a more serious tone. As much as she loved to have a good time, she also knew there was a time and place for everything. "I'm so glad you two are working together. I know you'll do fine. If you never need our help or support, you know we're all here for you."

"Thanks Selph, it's good to know. I guess I'm a little nervous. I mean I really haven't tried to use magic sense well… the spider thing or that once in Trabia… But Black, White, Support, Status - all the magic is so different. I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't worried."

"Take it slow," Quistis pointed out using her years as an instructor to guide in this situation. "Rinoa, don't feel rushed, just go at a pace you can handle. I know Squall will do his best and be there for you no matter what."

"Thank you," Rinoa answered more humbled than before. She always felt a sense of honor when Quistis offered advice. Somehow she still looked up to the older SeeD. "I just have this horrible feeling I'll need to be dragged out of bed tomorrow morning. I have no idea what he has planned."

"Well, if you need assistance getting out of bed in the morning, I'll be glad to oblige," Irvine winked. "Always hate to see such a lovely lady in distress."

"I think I'll manage just fine," Rinoa countered with a hint of sarcasm. Selphie didn't let the comment go unacknowledged either. She gingerly flicked a piece of bacon off of Irvine's plate and onto the floor.

"Manage what just fine?" A voice asked from behind.

Rinoa nearly choked on the milk she had just sipped, thankful that it didn't come up through her nose. There was nothing more sexy than _milk nose_ … She seriously considered putting a GPS on her boyfriend. He had this unique way of either being in the wrong place at the wrong time…or missing from the face of the planet.

Selphie smiled brightly looking at Irvine with loving endearment, "Oh just that my _boyfriend_ quite graciously volunteered to get your _girlfriend_ out of bed tomorrow morning."

"Really?" Squall replied rather noncommittally. He casually grabbed a chair from a nearby table and placed it between Rinoa and Quistis.

"Well, you know how I love to joke around." Irvine tried to play it off attempting to fetch his bacon from the floor. It was an easy choice to search for the sliver of meat rather than face the glare of the commander. Squall did know he was just kidding right?

However, the commander had something else in mind. "Well, since you are so concerned about getting people out of bed, report for morning calisthenics with the junior cadets tomorrow. I'm sure they'll be honored to have someone with your stature join them. It will be good for morale."

"You're not serious are you?" Irvine looked horrified at the mere thought of it. Sure he liked kids, just not the seventy-five of them at one time.

"Very," Squall stated simply.

"Great… First I lose my bacon, now this. I hate Mondays." Irvine piled his trash on his tray. "I better report to work on time or with my luck I'll be refining M-Stones for the rest of the week." The cowboy waved casually as he excused himself from the group.

Zell did some gesture with his arm outstretched in the air. "Squall man, I never knew you had such a jealous side in you, I'm impressed." The commander thought maybe the gesture was some sort of backward high five, which apparently only Zell understood. The others at the table looked just as confused by the meaning, as the martial artist grinned sheepishly.

"Can you really do that to Irvine?" Rinoa asked looking slightly shocked.

"Well," Squall started while pilfering a piece of her food. "Technically, I am suspended. In theory, I really can't tell anybody to do anything…"

"You're not going to mention that to Irvine, are you?" laughed Selphie.

"See, and people say I don't have a sense of humor," the commander shot back.

Rinoa smiled while reaching for her napkin, "They certainly don't know you like we do."

"So what were you guys really talking about?" Squall asked, again snatching another bite of food.

"Oh, I was just telling them about the torture…I mean training that we're starting tonight."

He didn't reply to that - just nodded his head in agreement. It wasn't something that he wanted to bring into a group discussion, at least yet. He was still trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. He was going to call Matron later and get some suggestions from her. The physical training he had little concern with, it was the mental and emotional exercises that still had him perplexed. He remained his normal impassive self at the table while the others began to talk about insignificant things. He had started to drown out their conversation when it turned to the latest movie release and Selphie's apparent pressing need to watch it tonight. In fact, he had managed to block them out entirely as he dissected Rinoa's crepes into bits.

"You know, if you're that hungry, you could go get your _own_ breakfast."

It took a second for him to register that Rinoa's voice wasn't so distant and was directed solely towards him. He looked at her in that apologetic way as if to say, _"I'm sorry dear, did you say something?"_ Of course those were words he would never say; it was just that nonverbal look of blank confusion.

She didn't like to admit how cute he appeared at times he was socially lost. He still wasn't used to being involved in groups or the idle chitchat that they tended to create. He had spent so long living in that shell of solitude, she certainly didn't expect it to go away. So instead of being upset about him not listening, she was only thankful that he had remained with them in the first place.

"I asked if you were going to get your own breakfast."

"Oh," Squall answered retracting his hand from the tray. "No, I can't. Have you seen that line?"

Squall's comment was met by an immediate **'hmumff'** from Zell. Apparently, the martial artist still had not let the Carl situation rest.

"Dear Shiva, not this again," Quistis said placing her hand over her forehead.

Rinoa and Selphie also joined in her concern. All three females were glad that the focus of conversation had shifted from the new employee. Apparently, the retreat was only temporary.

"Why Squall, why? What did we ever do to you to deserve this torture?" Zell raised his hands drawing attention from nearby tables.

"I'm sorry?" Squall said taken aback. It appeared everyone else at the table understood this outburst.

"You know, we all save the world and this, **this** is how you repay us?"

Quistis kept her head down, while Selphie tried to calm Zell down by patting his back. Rinoa just smiled nervously looking between Zell and her boyfriend, wondering how badly this would end.

"He doesn't like Carl," Selphie announced while rolling her eyes. Of course, that motion had gone unseen by Zell – thankfully.

Squall seemed to be confused by the name. Rinoa pointed under the table to the man standing behind the juice machine. The commander tried not to crack a smile at the absurdity of the situation.

"What's to **like** about him!" Zell managed while beginning another tirade, "I mean the guy is old. I mean really, really old like seventy and he's here and all these girls are like 'oh you're so great because you can speak another language' blah, blah, blah it makes me sick. Not to mention he thinks he's like Odin or something because he can carry two trays at once. I mean, come on… The guy is foreign, speaks in an accent, cooks food, and the girls here line up like he's the King of the Cosmos or something. The man is sly. Squall you really, really need to watch him around your girlfriend. I tell you, he is evil…"

"He outsmarted Zell," Selphie added with a huge grin.

"I saved the world, he cooks food!"

"I had nothing to do with it," explained Squall crossing his arms. "Apparently his mother is good friends with Cid and Matron. They knew each other from Deling."

"Ah hah!" The martial exclaimed triumphantly, "He's from Deling…which means his Dollet accent is **fake**! I so knew it!"

"Zell, that girl you met at the graduation dance…did you call her yet?" Quistis asked trying not to laugh outwardly at her friend. Certainly it wouldn't be very fitting given her position. He was just making it so damn hard.

"Yes, and she wouldn't go to breakfast with me because she had something 'more important.' I get here right after the cafeteria opens and she's the third in line. Third in line! And…and… I can hear her friends going on… Carl, this Carl that…"

"Mystery solved," Selphie answered sarcastically.

Rinoa looked down to her tray and handed the remainder of her food over to Squall. "I'm done with breakfast. I need to get back and shower before I'm late to work. You know how strict that Garden administration can be, they're nearly impossible to work for."

Smiling as she stood, the sorceress reached down to her knight's hand and wrapped her fingers over his. She knew he wasn't into big displays of public affection, so she just squeezed it simply as a nonverbal goodbye. He looked at her and their eyes locked and he nodded his farewell.

"Zell, will you walk with me for a moment?" The three SeeDs at the table seemed surprised by her request, but nonetheless the martial artist agreed. He begrudgingly got up from the table as Quistis offered to throw his trash away.

When they were away from the cafeteria Rinoa asked, "You really doing all right? I'm worried about you?" She was too. She had seen Zell have slight outbursts about things, but she knew something deeper was troubling him this time.

"Me? I'm fine. Just tired of all this," he sighed in exasperation and leaned against a nearby wall.

"You know Zell, you're like one of the closest friends I've ever had in my life. You were there for me so many times. Something tells me, you're going to be there for many more. So if you ever need to talk, I'll be here day or night."

"I know you will, Rin. Just, I guess, I get my hopes up about someone…and well, you know…they want a guy like _Carl."_

"Well, whoever she was, she certainly doesn't know what she's missing. It's her loss." Rinoa thought back over the last year. "What about that girl from the library? I know you said she had been seeing someone else and you guys were going to remain friends…"

"Her? Yeah we're still really good friends. She always calls me when the new magazines arrive. Plus we're always talking about movies. We both like those kind of horror shows where people are always running and screaming in the woods. Then they find a pile of disemboweled body parts scattered all over the place, and you know, do completely the wrong and stupid thing."

"Wow, sounds…thrilling. I guess my question would be: is she still seeing someone?"

"No, they didn't last long. I've thought about asking her out. I just don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Well you know they say sometimes the best romances are rooted in friendship. Maybe next time you're in the library ask her to lunch or something. Have her sit with us… Then it won't be a date, just a bunch of friends getting together."

"You think?"

"Yeah I do. You already know you have something in common. Maybe you guys could even go with Selphie and Irvine to a movie, make it more like a group thing. I would say Squall and I could go, but I think double dating with the commander tends to scare off most people."

Zell laughed scratching his head, "I can't believe I'm taking relationship advice from someone who dated Seifer."

"Hey, that hurts…" Rinoa playfully punched him on the arm. "Now come on and walk me to my room. I really do need to get ready."

* * *

Grumbling in annoyance, Rinoa knocked again on the commander's door. This time with much more brute force than her previous two attempts. Normally she always felt an uneasy apprehension knocking on her boyfriend's door. However, right now, she had been saddled with the task of running some essential work items to his room. These, of course, had to be a lethal combination of heavy reference books, a plethora of paperwork, and an assorted bevy of office supplies.

Rinoa wondered why would the man need two staplers anyhow. I mean how often did he run into a stapler emergency? Could he just not load a single stapler if it became empty? Or did that possibly take up way too much valuable commander time in which he could be, well using his two pairs of scissors that she was also carrying. Apparently being Commander of SeeD required a lot of cutting and stapling.

She sighed, trying to regain the perfect balance which she had managed in the elevators and down the hallway. But with the last knock on the door, the books and the paperwork awkwardly rearranged themselves in a lopsided pyramid. It was now leaning treacherously close to the point where the laws of physics would inevitably cause a catastrophic mess if she didn't get help soon.

Thankfully he answered the door before a major calamity ensued. It took him by surprise, not seeing Rinoa standing there, but the sheer amount of items she had managed to carry in one trip.

"Do you need help?"

She smiled in kind, although she really was surprised he had asked the question – to her it was painfully obvious. He managed to grab a large portion of the items and signaled her with creak of the neck to follow him. She wordlessly obliged, closing the door before trailing him to the spare bedroom.

"Just put them on that table."

Again she followed without added commentary, but to her it was rather apparent where to put them. The room was completely empty save for two card tables placed next to one another. Well, okay there was a folding chair behind one of the tables, apparently no expenses spared on his part. Squall's lack of furniture was always disturbing, but to see him attempting to use this as a makeshift office was rather humorous. He did have a laptop, a multiline phone, and a small lamp sitting on the table, no doubt furnished by the headmaster. She often wondered why Garden had given this beautiful apartment and he seemed to have fewer belongings than in his old SeeD dorm.

"I love what you've done with the place," Rinoa finally commented as the commander returned to his lone chair.

"Thanks, I have a natural talent for it."

She found herself giggling at his remark. She had pondered eating after her long trek down here so she asked, "Hey, I was wondering, as it is after twelve, do you want to grab some lunch in the cafeteria?"

"I really can't," he replied apologetically. "Right now I'm trying to straighten out the faculty budget and it would take forever to get through line."

"You're just scared you're going to run into Zell again," Rinoa joked semiseriously.

"That's probably true. I really don't want to know about his new fetish with the cafeteria guy. I have to actually get this proposal done by next week."

"It's not a problem." She hesitated for a moment wondering if she should broach the subject. If she saw Selphie again it would be one of the first questions on her mind. Well the first question after the age, height, and astrological sign of Carl.

Squall interpreted her hesitation differently, afraid that she was upset about declining her lunch invitation. Honestly he would have gone, it was just he wanted to make sure to get as much done now so they could still train together this evening. He wasn't used to his role of boyfriend and thought maybe he'd broken some huge cardinal relationship rule. So in some attempt to save face in the boyfriend department, or maybe just because he really wanted her there, he quickly thought of an impromptu solution.

"Chicken."

Rinoa looked at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

He stood from his chair and walked around the table. Reaching for her hand, he led her into the kitchen.

"Oh," she chuckled softly.

"I just remembered I have some leftover chicken from last night, if you're interested. I'm sure it's not as appetizing as whatever they're serving in the cafeteria today. I'm just saying I have some food if you'd-" He didn't know why he stopped or why it was difficult just asking her to do something rather simple. It was just a meal… in his apartment, right?

Rubbing the back of his neck he tried again. "I have leftover food if you'd like to stay here for lunch."

Honestly she had no real plans, just to meet the _usual gang_ at the _usual table_. In a way it was like an advanced version of her school years. Even though they were now all instructors, staff, or SeeDs - the social structure didn't seem to fluctuate often.

"I'd love to," she responded cheerfully.

When he opened his refrigerator door, Rinoa noticed that it seemed to mirror the state of his apartment. Beside some tin foil, which she assumed held the chicken, there were a few bottles of water, a half carton of milk, and a few fruits she could make out through the see-through drawer.

While he placed the food on a plate, she jumped up to sit on the center island. It seemed that neither of them knew what to say at the moment. He touched a few buttons on the microwave and then opened the fridge doors again, grabbing two bottles of water.

"Sorry, it's pretty much all I have. I really wouldn't trust the milk."

"It's okay."

She opened the water and quickly drank a good quarter of its contents. Apparently she was thirstier than even she had realized or maybe it was due to nerves. She would place money on the latter. Here it was the perfect opportunity to ask about Selphie's birthday. The situation honestly couldn't have been more ideal.

So she made up her mind that she was going to ask him. The worst he could say was _'no,'_ right?

Okay, maybe the worst he could say was _'Oh dear god, you are loonier than a Chocobo running around the field in the rain. What would_ _ever_ _make you think I'd agree to that!?'_ But again, that would probably be way more words than Squall felt like saying in a lifetime.

"Um, Squall," she began rather awkwardly. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you. I know this seems rather last minute, which is totally my fault because… well just because. Do you know how Selphie's birthday is coming up?" She stopped speaking after receiving a look she couldn't decipher.

After her pause he nodded, acknowledging that he 'knew Selphie's birthday was coming up.' He had given Irvine the time off and remembered the whole conversation with vivid clarity. Still that didn't explain why she was looking at him so strangely. Did he do something wrong?

"Okay… well here is where the 'favor' part comes in."

She took a deep breath and tried to look him directly in the eyes. That only lasted a few seconds after becoming nauseatingly nervous and looked down to her feet instead. She had gotten this far, there was no backing down now.

"Irvine planned a trip to Dollet for her. He knows how much Selphie wants to meet his friends from Galbadia… So his best friend from there was going to bring his girlfriend. The four of them were going to just have fun and hang out in Dollet – Selphie style."

Of course he knew all of this; Irvine had told him a week before the Graduation Ball. However the detail that he did catch on to was her use of the term ' _going_ to bring his girlfriend,' as in past tense. Past tense was never good in his field. Never.

"Well, everything was set and then his friend got called to go on a survival weekend. Since, apparently this guy is new to SeeD, well he has no seniority to get out of it. So unfortunately, they can't go… This is where the favor comes in."

And he knew it. Well, he had a suspicion somewhere during her rather longwinded explanation of the whole thing. It was just hearing the actual words that sealed the deal. Maybe it would sound better if he beat her to the punch of the request.

"So they want us to go in the place of Irvine's friends, right?"

Yeah, it didn't sound any better when he said it, but honestly, it didn't sound any worse either.

"Exactly. Please Squall? Selphie really wants us to go, we're basically the only other couple they know, or would want to spend a weekend with. I'm not going to beg. I'm only going to ask you this once, so if you don't want to – I understand and respect your decision."

"I don't suppose I can order Zell and Quistis to start dating immediately?"

Well, that response thoroughly confused her; it was about the last thing she'd expect out of him. Sometimes reading him was hard. No, that was an understatement: sometimes reading him was like trying to read the emotions of a rock. She wasn't positive if his answer was humor or his polite way of refusing her request. The most logical thinking on her part right now was to play along until she could feel out the situation a little better.

"You could try to make them, but like you mentioned earlier, you're technically suspended… so it's about a fifty-fifty shot."

"Forget it," he responded. He noticed that she still had not looked at him, but he also made no attempt to approach her. Instead he went to the microwave to retrieve the chicken. "Honestly, Zell would totally freak and end up needlessly hounding me, asking if I was serious. And Quistis would more than likely recite verbatim every SeeD rule, section, _and_ article, which I was breaking with my command. So I guess to save myself the pointless crap from them, we'll have to go in their place."

"Really?" She was hopeful. Still she somehow needed that verbal conversation that her ears hadn't deceived her.

"Yes, I'll go. But you can't make me have fun."

"I would never try!" She beamed as she scooted from the counter. He must have heard, as he turned away from the microwave to face her. He had been around Rinoa long enough to know her behavioral patterns. As predicted, she jumped up into his arms much like the second time they met aboard the train.

This time, unlike back then, she pulled him into a kiss. Over the months, he seemed to have grown accustomed to the act and rather enjoyed it more than he'd let on. It amazed Squall how 'him' going anywhere could make another person happy. A year ago most people were happier, _at least he thought_ , when he wasn't around. The simple fact was: he liked making her happy. It was something he discovered about himself that shocked even him.

He had jumped into space for her. How could going to Dollet with Selphie be any more dangerous?


	3. Learning Curve

_ July 7 _ _ th _ _ – After Work   
_

The day had trudged on slowly, which was by no means a surprise. It always seemed to crawl along at a Blobra's pace when she was looking forward to seeing Squall. However, she felt more apprehensive about tonight for two reasons. One, she simply still had no idea what he had planned. Her imagination was vast, and sadly, Squall's probably wasn't when it came to the physical aspects of training. She was most likely going to be treated like a new recruit to Garden. Second, she was curious how he was handling his first day of 'in-room' suspension. Though again, Squall probably didn't care where he was, paperwork was boring in any location.

Now she found herself waiting (semi) patiently at the front gates, becoming more anxious with every second that passed. Again, being clueless on the subject of Squall had her overanalyzing everything. That was nothing new; she rarely understood the intricate workings of his mind. Though she figured that was a good thing the majority of the time. It at least made every encounter with him slightly more mysterious, if not extremely aggravating.

This day was pretty much unprecedented for them, as it was the first time they were dealing with their bond exclusively. She knew that the 'emotional connection' had bothered him during the dance, and the time in Trabia with Seifer, but he had let it remain in the background. She knew, _they both knew_ , they had to face this situation head-on. It had been placed directly in the foreground of their relationship. It was because of their bond that he was suspended, at least she would always believe. He would argue otherwise, but both were stubborn beyond belief, and would never back from their stance.

Continuing to stare at the entrance of Garden, she wondered how long it would take him to walk out of the building. Every time a person exited through the main doors, she was hopeful. Suddenly, an extremely loud _and very unexpected_ car horn blared from behind startling her from the trance. In reflex she tossed her duffle bag a good few meters in the air. As she gathered her wits, and duffle bag, the horn sounded for a second time. She was just about ready to turn and curse that stupid idiotic driver out when she suddenly recognized the car.

Rinoa opened the door glaring at the man behind the wheel, "You know that was _sooo_ unnecessary."

"I know," Squall replied rather brazenly. "Think of it this way, that was your first lesson. Always be ready for anything."

She wanted to counter with some witty comeback, but she knew whatever retort she would manage, he'd dismiss with some SeeD adage. It was just easier to let the matter rest for now... She would plan her revenge later. Two could play at the _'be ready for anything'_ game.

Deciding just to play it cool for now, she got in merely asking, "So what's the plan?"

"You'll see."

"You know, now is _not_ the time to be all mysterious." She was getting irritated by his aloof behavior, plus still not thrilled about the near heart attack he had given her. "I really would like to know where we're going at least."

"I'll tell you when we get there."

"You make me want to scream."

"Good," he answered with a chuckle in his voice.

Something told her he enjoyed this. Theirs truly was a unique relationship that few could understand. Truthfully neither of them could fully comprehend it themselves.

It was a relatively short drive, less than ten minutes which Rinoa was grateful for. It was not like the continent of Balamb offered that much variety in destinations. When they neared the coast he slowed his car down, finding a makeshift dirt road to park.

"The beach?" Rinoa questioned rather hopefully. Maybe this was all just an elaborate ruse to get her to watch the sunset with him. He could be romantic.

"You do have your running shoes on, right?"

…Then again, sometimes he was clueless on romance.

"Yes," she groaned.

He made no further attempt at conversation getting out of the vehicle. He had opted to wear a gray t-shirt with black shorts. On the shorts, there was a SeeD emblem embroidered on the leg. She then also noticed the small SeeD insignia on the sleeve of his shirt. It appeared what clothes of his weren't leather, were more than likely Garden-issue.

"Dear God Squall, please tell me that SeeD doesn't make personalized boxers too."

"What did you say?" he questioned, half wondering if heard her right, half hoping he was very wrong. As suspected she didn't repeat the question, which was his hope.

"Never mind. So um, what are we doing here?" She reached back into the car and grabbed her duffle bag.

"Ever find it difficult to walk in the sand?" he asked tossing his bag on the trunk.

"Um, tried to avoid it directly. It was always way too hot. I would usually wear sandals until we found a place to put our towels down. That stuff can really burn your feet on a sunny day. It's murder!"

He stared at her blankly, "I meant did you find it difficult to walk in deep sand – resistance wise?"

"Oh, that way… I guess it was difficult, again wearing sandals doesn't help."

Squall was obviously showing his hand to her; what little experience he had at the beach didn't involve hanging with friends or tanning in the sun. He rubbed his neck thinking about how different they were and their upbringing had been.

"Follow me." She tried to ignore the almost military edge to his request.

He began a series of warm-ups that she seemed to easily follow. They continued stretching while he began to explain his plan, "One of the best ways for strength training is by running on sand. It forces you to go slow, maintain your balance, and keeps your heart rate up. Basically, gives you most of the benefits equated with altitude training."

She moaned a reply. Honestly her mind was pretty much stuck on the 'run' aspect. She had managed to hear very little after that. She just knew 'run' and 'sand' should be two words never in the same sentence.

"We're going to take it slow today. Do you see where that part of the land jets out there?" He pointed down the coast.

She squinted in horror following his line of sight. "Easy, **that** is taking it easy?"

"In a few months, I'll have you running to town and back."

"We are so over," she mumbled in jest. He knew she was kidding and smiled rather victoriously.

"Can't we just work on the magic stuff, please?" She knew this was probably coming across as whining compared to the cadets he was used to. But therein lied the problem, he was doing what he was used to – not her.

"Rin, honestly the two are related. You need stamina to cast the spells. It's going to take a hell of a lot out of you. I want you to be ready for anything."

His eyes silently asked her to agree. She could tell that this was as much for his benefit as it was for hers. Still, really couldn't it be anything but running…in _sand_!

"Ready?" he barked before running off. He really was like that Cactuar on skates she had compared him to in the past.

She wasn't positive how long the torture had lasted, but it felt like the longest time in recorded history. When she made it to the land to turn around, she was positive someone had moved his car even further away. This had to be some twisted optical illusion of insanity.

The sorceress finally managed to stagger back to the starting point. The knight, on the other hand, apparently had been there forever. In that time she figured he had read a novel and lounged on the beach with a piña colada in hand. Rinoa wanted to tell him where he could stick that little wooden umbrella, but that was just the adrenaline talking. She tried to collapse as she neared him, but he of course, wouldn't let her do that.

Squall reached a hand out reprimanding, "Don't… keep walking for slowdown. Heart rate, remember."

Heart rate, yeah whatever - she'd be lucky to have a heart rate at all after this.

"You made it in less than fifteen minutes, good job."

Fifteen minutes? That was all? He had to have read that stopwatch wrong, it surely had to be at least an hour…or four. She finally managed to stumble back to the dirt road where his car was parked. All she could do was wonder why in the heck she had agreed to this absurdity in the first place. Didn't he remember her stamina in battles? Her endurance was perfectly fine, this was just masochistic. It took another ten minutes or so before she could stop seeing multiples of everything. Apparently no, Balamb didn't mysteriously gain another sun…it was just the double vision. She also saw two Squalls momentarily, luckily for one of them, she didn't know which one to strangle.

As her vision cleared, he handed her a bottle of water. Of course she was quick to realize it was just a peace offering before entering the next circle of hell.

"Now we're going to work on some magical exercises."

"Can't we go work on that in Garden? You know, where it is actually air conditioned."

"Rin, we can't exactly have you practicing magic around a lot of people. We need somewhere remote - that is why I picked here." He lightheartedly added, "Also figured if you set something on fire, we're close to a major water source."

"Ha ha," she shot back crossing her arms disgustedly. "So what exactly are we going to do O' Knight-like one?"

"Actually since you managed to Silence me so well in Trabia, I think working with support and status magic is a logical choice. If we can work on your confidence in that, it will help overall."

That was true. Squall took her greatest weakness in battle, fighting alone, and was going to try to turn it into a strength. If she was confident in her abilities to protect and aid her allies, her confidence overall would increase. He also was aware that she was hesitant about using dark magic ever since the spider incident. Until she could control one category, it was doubtful she could control something more powerful. Rinoa's nature was to help. That was where they were going to start.

For the next hour he wanted her to work on support spells. His plan had been for her to start with the most basic spells including Protect, Reflect, and Shell. Instead of being the test dummy himself, he had gathered some 'unwitting subjects' before leaving Garden. His theory of teaching revolved around her casting spells protecting inanimate objects, rather than living creatures. Once they had mastered this step, they would move forward.

They needed to know exactly what her capabilities were and where her weakness lay. The fact was that neither knew what degree of magic she was capable. With a Guardian Force junctioned, there is no doubt in the casters abilities. With her, all magic was stored internally; she had to draw on that power to produce the spells. This is why the situation, as with all sorceresses, was a wild card to most outsiders.

Squall went back to his car and opened the trunk. He reached in immediately producing a bag full of _test dummies_. He made no effort to explain himself and walked back to her. As he neared, he pulled out a single pinecone and set the rest of the 'test subjects' onto the ground.

"What is that?" Rinoa asked curiously.

"It's a pinecone."

"Well, _thankyouverymuch_ , I can see that. I mean why are you holding it?"

"We're going to use it for practice. There's a lot around Garden and they're very delicate by nature. You're going to use them to cast basic support spells."

"Great, to protect us from all those vicious pinecone attacks you read about in the paper?"

He merely cocked an eyebrow at her sarcasm. There was part of him that wished she would take this a little more seriously, but then again, he knew this was difficult for her. Maybe it was just easier for her to voice her opinion jokingly rather than to think about other possibilities.

With his leadership, and nearly unimaginable patience, they trudged through the next hour relatively unscathed. However the pinecones didn't fare as well, as most ended up disemboweled and broken into countless pieces.

Squall was right; the mental exhaustion was almost as grueling as the physical. He was satisfied with what they accomplished and knew she was tiring. Plus, they were running out of victims.

"I think you've murdered enough pinecones. What do you say we call it a day on this exercise?"

"So do I get to try spells on you next time?"

"Once you learn that support spells aren't meant to turn the recipient into ash."

She squinted her eyes, giving him that 'don't mess with me look.' He smirked as they headed back to his car. He could tell that she was trying to act as if she didn't want to collapse, though her body language betrayed her. He knew each step became increasingly difficult. He admired her determination and the way she handled herself. Many SeeDs he knew wouldn't weather as well without complaining. Okay she had complained _some_ , but still he was impressed nonetheless.

"Are we heading back to Garden now?" she questioned groggily.

"We can, if you want."

Rinoa thought about his statement. It wasn't definite, in fact, quite the opposite. His tone of voice never changed, it was the words he had picked. Rinoa knew to take the opening, if she was reading the situation correctly.

"I don't know," the sorceress sighed. "It's nice to be away for a little bit. I always loved the beach."

"Back to those years tanning with your friends?" he asked with a hint of playfulness.

"Nah, nothing like that."

She smiled and headed towards the shoreline, finding a spot on the beach. Rinoa made a very unladylike grunt when she finally made it to the ground.

"Dear Diablo, I didn't think I could possibly be _this_ sore _this_ quickly. I think you're going to have your work cut out for you. I mean… to get me to stand up after this."

"I'll manage," he stated taking a seat directly beside her.

The next few minutes were relatively silent, only the ambient sounds of nature. She leaned back on her hands, extending her legs forward. The warmth of the sun was rather powerful given that it was well into evening. It was summer and the sun's intensity could be felt even at this hour.

"Thanks," Rinoa said without elaboration.

He had no idea what she was thanking him for…possibly murdering innocent pinecones or making her stagger through sand? In his line of work he wasn't used to being thanked and that played a major role in his confusion. He was just doing his job in his opinion.

"You're welcome," he answered politely.

She found herself chuckling for no other reason than mental and physical exhaustion. Plus he was just so damn irresistible at times like this. Of course, that was something else she would never tell him.

"You have no idea what I'm thanking you for, do you?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Squall," she smiled shaking her head. "I'm thanking you for making me do this, even though I really try to be an obstinate ass some times."

"Oh that," he replied wryly. "Yeah, you can be an obstinate ass."

"Hey!" she groaned. "You should never agree with your girlfriend on something like that. You're supposed to, you know, tell me that I'm not and make me feel better."

"As I've said in the past, no wonder I never did this relationship thing before."

"I give up," she sighed. Their exchange was playful; even he could pick up on that. Randomly changing the subject she also added, "Also, thanks for agreeing to going to Dollet this weekend. Selphie was so thrilled when I told her, could barely pry her arms off me. She told me that Irvine would get with you about the reservations for the room… rooms, er yeah, whatever."

The slip was nothing on her part, but somehow changing a singular to a plural held many implications to him. There was a huge difference between a room and two rooms.

There was suddenly an awkwardness that Squall was not expecting. He hadn't thought about the small, yet pertinent, details of the trip. Heck, he hadn't even thought about what the four of them would do for two days together. That was scary enough. He needed to change the subject right now; he would deal with this new mental crisis later.

"Think of something," he said randomly changing the subject.

"Um, what?"

He exhaled hoping that the topic switch would work. Plus, it was a mental exercise they could try. More importantly, it would steer the conversation away from the warning sign barricading the highway of his life.

"I checked with Matron on some exercises for us to try…"

He never looked at her as his words faded. That tended to be a bad habit of his, not looking directly at her when he felt uncomfortable, which was often. He would break it eventually, but somehow this didn't seem like the right time to try to start. So he stayed focused on the ocean's horizon.

"Rin, I want you to close your eyes and think of something…any object will do."

"All right…?" she questioned but tried to oblige his request. Shutting her eyes, Rinoa tried to think of 'something', but honestly, that instruction was way too vague.

"Um Squall…. I don't exactly-"

"Yeah, I know," he interrupted realizing that his lack of communication skills were once again rearing their ugly head. "Let me try to explain a little better. In your mind, I want you to think of any object. It can be something common. Then concentrate on what it looks like, the color, the feel - basically try to incorporate all of your senses."

Well, that explanation was a little more lucid. She now understood what he was going for, even if it was in some roundabout way of getting there. Rinoa's eyes remained closed and she began to let her mind wander. For some odd reason, the first thing that she pictured was one of those stupid staplers from this afternoon. Why again did the Commander of SeeD need two staplers?

"Okay," she responded holding back a laugh, "I have something."

"Really focus," he instructed.

Rinoa deeply concentrated on one of the staplers she had carried. It was simple, black, just your average run-of-the-mill, no-frills, Squall-like stapler.

"Just keep picturing it," he encouraged.

Receiving no reply, it was now Squall's turn to close his eyes and relax his body. Letting his mind go blank, he tried to remain void of any of his own thoughts. After several minutes, and it was a good several minutes, Squall had still come up with nothing. He wasn't sure if this mind-reading trick would work, moreover, he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted it to on some levels.

"Rin," he finally interrupted. "With that same thing you are picturing… I want you to think about how it makes you feel. Think about any emotions attached to it."

She stifled another laugh. What kind of emotional attachment could she have to a stapler? Still, Rinoa knew not to question his motives, she trusted him. It was apparent from past experience that their bond wasn't so much a 'physical' mind connection, rather than an emotionally based one. That was good too, she would rather not have him hear, know, or even visualize certain thoughts.

Her mind returned to the stapler and tried to form a mental 'chain of emotion.' A stapler reminded of her _work_. Work reminded her of getting up in the morning. She immediately went to her natural adversity towards waking up early. Waking up made her think about her loathing towards the sound of her alarm. So that is what she went with, that feeling of hearing the first dreaded buzzer. As obscure as it was, it was her initial line of reasoning.

The two remained on the beach for another fifteen minutes, but nothing seemed to click. It wasn't if the bond would magically form on their first attempt; it was going to take time. Squall didn't seem disheartened in the least.

As before, he was the one to finally break the silence. "I give up. Just tell me you're not thinking about Carl."

She laughed openly; he couldn't help but to join her momentarily.

"Not even close," she managed.

"So?"

"So what?" she countered.

"So, what were you thinking of? I need to know if I was even close."

"Yeah…I was thinking of a stapler."

"What?" He continued to smile. "You worry me, you know that?"

She laughed again, allowing herself to collapse completely in the sand. He fell backwards joining her for no apparent reason beside he was there, the sand was there. _They were there._ He reached over pulling her body to him, until her head was pillowed by his chest. His arm wrapped protectively around her as both enjoyed their solitude away from Garden. They remained that way, in beautiful silence, as they only listened to the harmony of nature. It had been just over thirty minutes, of nothing but being within one another's company, when he regretfully stated the obvious.

"We need to get back, I suppose."

"Yeah," she agreed verbally, though she would have stayed the entire night without question.

When she begrudgingly sat up, she quickly remembered how much she disliked sand. It had this nearly supernatural ability to get in every nook, cranny, and sock…and remain there for an ungodly amount of time. She hadn't realized its intrusion when she was in his arms. Then again, she was too content to notice.

"Gah, I need to get this sand off me, and take a damn shower. I feel so icky."

"Icky, huh?" Squall chuckled to himself. She really did have a way with words. "Come on, I can't let my sorceress feel icky, it would be very un-knightly of me." He stood up, offering his hand.

When they returned to where they had tossed their stuff, Rinoa rifled through her bag looking for bottled water. Nestled between her belongings was another t-shirt she had packed 'just in case.' It was nearly identical to the one she had on. A very mischievous thought entered her mind.

Revenge.

Causally, she placed the 'twin shirt' under her own. He wasn't paying attention to her movements, which was a very good thing for her - bad for him. She would make him pay for that car horn earlier. Oh yes, she would make him pay.

They had made it back to his car and while he was putting something in the trunk, Rinoa seized this very golden opportunity. Fortunately, she had the back car door open to toss in her bag, but it also conveniently covered most of her body.

"You know Squall, as long as we're here and I feel so gross, what do you say we jump in the ocean and rinse off? It would help at least with some of the sand."

She knew her suggestion would be met with immediate dismissal.

"I don't think the salt water will be much better. Not to mention neither of us have suits."

Perfect.

She smiled devilishly crouching down and acting as if she was removing her shirt. He didn't catch on at first, but when he did, she could swear she could _hear_ his heart stop.

"Who needs bathing suits?" she replied naughtily.

It didn't take another second for him to realize the danger he was in…what she was implying was rather obvious. He spun around quicker than he knew was humanly possible. His back was now toward her, eyes transfixed securely once again on the ocean.

For his part, he had no idea how to handle this situation. She wouldn't, would she? She couldn't mean, right? He instantly started thinking about how to diplomatically…well, do something! This was something his SeeD training seemed to skim right over.

It was at this point she knew she had him snared within her trap. Reaching under her shirt, Rinoa produced the decoy garment. Walking up behind him she tossed the second, unused shirt over his shoulder. She watched the back of his head as it seemed to follow its path as it landed directly in front of him. She knew he was mentally scrutinizing the shirt teasingly before him. Of course he had not even thought about turning back to face her. She knew his mind had obviously gone exactly to where she wanted.

Squall stared at the shirt like it was some sort of snake ready to spit venom. Maybe, at that point, she could have called the bluff, but where was the fun in that? He did put her in near cardiac arrest earlier, now she was definitely repaying the favor. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she softly whispered in his ear, "It's your move."

"Ah…Rinoa… I don't think… um… you know people… may…" He seemed to be grasping for a coherent sentence.

After another few more near inaudible babbles, she figured it was time to put her boyfriend's mind at ease.

"Oh Squall, I'm so not serious!" she said trying to keep her composure intact. However, it was to no avail as she was already bent over in hysterics. He had made no apparent attempt to move from the spot where he had been so successfully glued. She walked in front of him and retrieved the alleged 'snake'. His mind was obviously still processing that his girlfriend was, in fact, completely clothed.

"That was… not funny," Squall managed. He was still rather flustered by the whole exchange, and avoided direct eye contact at any, and all, costs.

"Oh yes it was…" she replied and then walked up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Squall, what was it you told me earlier, be ready for anything?"


	4. Worst Case Scenario

_ July 8 _ _ th _ _ – Tuesday 10:05 a.m. _

He grunted in aggravation as someone continuously knocked on the door. Apparently it was showering down fireballs outside, the end of the world was here – it damn better be. When upstairs in his normal office, insane people like this were forced to go through Xu; she had the ability to handle just about every situation known to SeeD, which usually left him in peace.

However, Xu was nowhere to be found and neither was any semblance of peace.

The commander ran a hand through is hair, gritting back a few colorful adjectives that were rather unprofessional, as he made his way to the door. This in-room suspension was growing more maddening by the day. By next week, he would be using his gunblade to skew students and faculty randomly as if they were SeeD shish kabobs.

He opened the door while trying to remain somewhat hospitable to the visitor. Unfortunately for him, he never saw the blitz attack coming. So much for lightening quick reflexes from years of training, because apparently, someone had even far greater velocity than him.

It was a haze of brunette and yellow, a force more persistent (and annoying) than the fiercest typhoon. 'It' jumped on him as if a lioness pouncing on a gazelle, sadly at this moment, he was the defenseless gazelle in the open savannah. So much for being a lion…

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thaaank yooouuu!"

Selphie, of course, had to draw out that last one to for effect. It was annoying, but what about repeating the same words five times in a row wasn't? Squall was not used to having his friends fly into his arms. He was just learning to understand Rinoa's obstinate need for ambushing him. Selphie, however, was an entirely different animal. It equaled, to put it mildly, having a leech attach itself to your body - a really energetic, cheerful, and slightly disturbing, leech.

Unfortunately, unlike Rinoa, she didn't seem to detach as quickly. It was extremely uncomfortable, given his nature, but he tried not to react outwardly. In fact, he wondered where the hell he put his salt shaker.

"Can you please detach?" he asked prying her arms away with more force than was probably necessary. Again, he didn't do well with people in close proximity and she had broken, no _shattered_ , all boundaries of personal space.

"Sorry," she apologized in a highly cheerful way that only Selphie could.

She released herself from the death grip and then promptly started her unique habit of bouncing in place. He had seen her excited before, but this went way beyond anything he had witnessed. He quickly wondered if all those rumors he heard about her addiction to those sticks with colored sugar in them was true, or if that was just one of those myths that had been perpetuated in the forums on the Garden Square.

"Squall, I'm just so excited that you agreed to go to Dollet with us! I didn't have time to get down here until now. It'll be so fun! There's so much I want to do."

The logical side of his mind was screaming for him to ask the simple question, "Like what?" Yet, he didn't. In any other situation, he would have collected as much tactical data as possible, gathered useful intel, and assess various probabilities. However, this was that one time in his life that he actually thought the less he knew, the better the possible outcome. So, in this instance, he just said what didn't come natural. "You're welcome."

"Do you know how much I thought you would say no? I mean Irvine and I had a bet and if I lost I had to…never mind you really don't want to hear it, do you?" Selphie laughed to herself, apparently she must have thought something was rather comical, he was however, not amused.

She continued brightly gleaming, "Anyway, I was thinking about the trip all night. I couldn't stop thinking about all the fun we're going to have. I wanted to come down here and thank you in person!"

She smiled sincerely, to which, he in return offered the gesture in kind. It wasn't large, and was somewhat forced, but the smile wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be.

"Well, I better head back upstairs. I'm supposed to be giving the new recruits a demonstration in controlled explosions. Because it's never too early to teach them blowing up things is really, really awesomely cool. Though…maybe I should kinda scale back that aspect, huh?"

"That would be wise," he replied wondering who the hell gave the clearance for this to happen…again. Did Garden learn nothing from her last 'controlled blast?'

Before she turned to walk away, Selphie mused out loud, "You know, I swear I think I've knocked on more doors this week than ever, you should totally give me a master key."

He stared at her in disbelief, and honestly, a little fear.

"It was a joke, Squall," she explained with a wink. "You'll learn…eventually. I still hold out hope."

As a final thought she added, "You know, you really, really need to get some pictures, or plants, or maybe even _furniture_?"

Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Apparently, Rinoa and Selphie also had the need to decorate his apartment in common. He just grunted a non-response and quickly closed the door to his sanity, and his apartment.

* * *

_ July 9 _ _ th _ _ – Wednesday 3:17 p.m.  _

This was the final straw.

He was going to talk to – _no, make demands to_ \- Cid this afternoon. Either he was going to actually be truly suspended, move back to his office, or get an assistant for the remainder of this probation. He could just leave his apartment door open, but that wasn't happening anytime in this lifetime, and probably, a little into the next. Did nobody around this entire complex think to use the telephone? In fact, he now owned one with five lines on his makeshift desk. He damn well sure knew how to use it, but apparently the general masses couldn't even handle the simplistic task of dialing.

Again the commander grumbled as he had to save his document, get out from behind the card table, walk down the small hallway, and open his stupid door. Not a huge ritual in itself, but one that had grown ever more annoying since Monday. This time when he opened the door he was greeted by a smirking Irvine – thankfully the cowboy had restrained himself from jumping into the commander's arms. Somebody would have gotten seriously hurt. Really, seriously, hurt.

"Hey, sorry to bother you. Just needed to get with you for a moment, got a minute or two?"

" _No,"_ he mentally screamed, yet unfortunately, his body had not received the message as he stepped out of the way.

"Great!"

Irvine made his way in looking around the apartment. He had only been to the commander's new place once before. Squall was rather private about his affairs, and his friends allowed him his own space. Save for the occasional Selphie intrusion, or you know, the naked-girlfriend-in-the-bathtub scenarios. Which unfortunately, the former seemed to be far more likely in the near future, rather than the latter.

"Wow, you've done wonders with this place since I last saw it."

"That seems to be the general consensus," he replied flatly.

"Anyway, back on topic," Irvine grinned. However, it was more of a nervous smile than his usual confident smirk. "I needed to get with you about the reservations for this weekend."

The cowboy adjusted his hat, not that it needed it. That was a trait specific to nervousness. Although he and Squall were raised together at the orphanage, he always felt awkward around his friend to a certain degree. This only seemed to amplify when nobody else was there to serve as a distraction. They were two extreme personalities, with two distinct life styles and attitudes.

Now it became Squall's turn to feel uncomfortable. Even hearing Irvine mention the 'reservations' conjured up a sense of unease in the young commander - an emotion that he had often tried to suppress.

However, ever since Rinoa's slip up at the beach, Squall had thought about this topic. Probably a little more than would be considered normal… His mind said one thing, his heart said quite another. He had not talked it over with Rinoa, which was something he knew he should have done. Yet within that same thought, he knew it was something he couldn't do, not by conscious choice, but something inherently deeper. How some things could come so easily for some, but were so difficult for others, _mainly him_ , remained a mystery.

"Squall, do you guys need one room or two?"

And there it was, just as simplistic as that. The knight tried not act as if the question fazed him and outwardly he was succeeding, inwardly it felt as if his respiration system would implode. Luckily while he remembered how to breathe, Irvine remembered to keep talking.

"We had it reserved for two, one for myself and Selph and the other for friend. I called the hotel to see if there was another room available. They can do it. I just need to know how many you guys need."

Squall quickly also surmised that Irvine and Selphie were sharing a room. He had assumed they would, but hearing and thinking were two different things. A part of him admired his friend, not for the fact that he was _sharing_ a room with his girlfriend, just the way he handled it so diplomatically.

"Two," answered the commander, though not with his usual assertiveness. "Just put them in my name. I'll cover both."

Oh yes, brilliant, Squall thought, somehow if you pay for the second room it makes a difference. It didn't matter and he knew it. It wasn't anybody's business how many rooms he and Rinoa had, and honestly, he knew Irvine and Selphie didn't care either way. The mental hang up was the one he was having was with himself.

"No problem. I'll call them right back. Also wanted to let you know that the train is leaving at two on Friday. Sorry so early. It's the only way we can get to Dollet at a somewhat decent hour."

"Yeah," Squall replied still distracted in his thoughts. "It's fine."

If this was any indication, this weekend was going to be a rather unprecedented event all around.

* * *

_ July 10 _ _ th _ _ – Thursday 9:58 a.m.  _

He slammed his laptop closed with force. This was the third time in as many days. He stood from his chair, nearly knocking it over in the process. He angrily walked the hallway slamming his fist on the kitchen counter as he stormed by. Reaching the doorknob, he pulled it open forcefully. The person on the other side eyes widened in shock.

"I'm sorry," she stammered apologetically. "I should have called. It's obviously a bad time." Rinoa shifted her weight nervously between her feet. "I'll come back later…or something…"

He didn't reply verbally. Reaching out, he grabbed her bicep a little more forcefully than he had intended. He sometimes forgot how adrenaline could affect him. He even saw her wince in either shock or pain. He hoped it was shock.

"Rinoa," he dropped his hand feeling ashamed. Being locked in this place for nearly a week straight was starting to fray heavily on his nerves. "Please." He didn't need to say anything more. That was what so great about her, she understood without him ever having to say more than a few simple words. Smiling, she held out a folder. Rinoa knew his abruptness was not directed toward her, rather toward the situation.

"Cid just wanted me to bring these contracts down for your signature."

However, she was puzzled when he made no attempt to grab the file or offer any other immediate exchange.

"Squall?"

"Please just stay here and work for me today. Whatever Cid's paying you, I'll double it."

She knew enough of him to know that although it was said in a joking manner, there was some truth to his plea. "Okay," she laughed. "I don't think it works that way, but it's a very generous offer."

"I'm going stir crazy in here. I never realized how much shit Xu has to put up with."

"You mean working _for_ you or working _with_ you?"

"Very clever… it's just that the interruptions never end."

She giggled. "Welcome to my life, just add making coffee, figuring out how to change the stupid toner in the copier, and paging instructors who are always too busy to even acknowledge your feudal existence. That is the glorious thing that is my job…"

"I need to get out of here. I need to go take some of this frustration out, before I end up killing someone. This is hell."

He hadn't meant to, but she felt overwhelming guilt. His punishment was her fault. As much as he tried to deny it before, she knew he would not 'suspended' if it wasn't for her. Her entire demeanor changed as she lowered the folder to her side and bowed her head slightly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he replied not understanding. When she didn't look up, he realized what he had inadvertently done, or rather _said._ "Rinoa, no don't." He reached for her hand, but before they made contact the phone rang in the background. She instinctively pulled away, placing the folder in his hand instead.

"You're busy and I need to get back…just sign these when you get a chance and return them to the headmaster. I gotta go."

She turned abruptly to walk away. He said her name under his breath, but not too surprisingly, she had not heard. He despised this, everything about it. He shut the door, making sure not to slam it, although that was his first instinct. He tossed the folder angrily onto the same counter. He had done it in aggravation only a minute before and now he did likewise. Now it was for an entirely different reason.

* * *

_ July 11 _ _ th _ _ – Friday 1:15 p.m.  _

He had been the first one standing at the gates. Squall would have liked to say his reasons were because he was extremely punctual, he was overly responsible, or he was the definition of the perfect SeeD, but those excuses would be pretty damn far from the truth. Yesterday Rinoa had walked away from him upset, and like the patented fool he was, he didn't try to make amends. He would like to think that he was getting over this point in his life, where he felt that if he made too big of mistake that she would leave. He had given her plenty of reasons to do so in the past, but she hadn't. There was always this nagging voice in his subconscious that refused to believe anybody would want to stay with him.

Last night he had found it difficult to concentrate on work, although he did just that. Between signing disciplinary forms (ironic onto itself) and reading over contracts, he probably glanced at the phone a good few dozen times. He either willed her to call, or willed himself to pick up the line, but neither of those scenarios occurred. The commander had even gone as far as to wonder if she would cancel this weekend, upset at his behavior. She didn't.

Now he was the one to be standing at the gates, standard SeeD issued duffle bag hanging over shoulder, waiting for the others to show up. What a difference a few days made. The irony again couldn't escape him.

He glanced down to his watch and then tried to casually look at the door. Apparently appearing nonchalant was more difficult than he imagined. After a few more minutes of acting as if he wasn't looking toward the door, he saw the outlines of three familiar figures. He made out one rather towering over the other two petite forms. For a minute, he flashed back to a similar scenario at Galbadia Garden just over a year ago...

To the commander, that entire leg of their journey never set right. From the moment they disembarked at the East Academy train station, it seemed to be one impossible anomaly after another. Of course, that particular incident cumulated with the introduction of the sharpshooter to the group, and things seemed to roll downhill quickly from there. It was also that encounter at Galbadia Garden that Squall experienced a completely foreign emotion. Though at the time, he couldn't identify the sensation. It was (albeit very slight) jealousy. There was something about watching Irvine wrap his arms around both Selphie and (especially) Rinoa that stirred a once dormant emotion. He wouldn't admit it then, he wouldn't admit now if asked, but it was there.

After that fleeting sensation, he quickly rearranged the groupings, not going by Irvine's rather ludicrous suggestion. Squall forcefully clung onto the notion that Rinoa was his client and still under his protection. She was. That wasn't a lie. On paper, or to any superior, it would be a logical explanation. But somehow, there was a desire to protect her that may have gone beyond the norm. He denied it then, but somehow seeing a mirror of the past made the realization come to light.

Seeing the sharpshooter walking with his arms around the girls brought back that once dormant feeling. Squall knew it was just the cowboy's way. Inevitably, somehow, his mind tied this situation back to that first day in Galbadia. He pushed the fleeting notion out of his thoughts and tried to return to his _nonchalant waiting_ , which grew increasingly difficult.

In a casual attempt, he turned just enough to tell that Rinoa and Selphie were laughing openly. Irvine appeared to be grinning in triumph. Apparently they found humor in something. After another second, Rinoa seemed outwardly disgusted by the cowboy and forcefully removed his arm. She then started to walk faster than her comrades, putting several paces between them.

"Squall, ready for some fun?!" Selphie called rather loudly garnering the attention of a few passersby. The commander managed to give a forced smile, or at least he thought it was. It may have looked more like a lopsided sneer to onlookers. He prayed for the best.

As they approached, he noticed that Irvine's arm was still wrapped protectively around Selphie. It was so natural for the cowboy; contact was a gesture so seemingly basic to Irvine. Rinoa had made it to him first, still mocking anger toward the man behind her. However when she reached Squall, her expression immediately softened. It was then when he noticed that she was dressed in jeans and a very familiar t-shirt.

He recalled vividly seeing her in that exact garment on a poignant evening in Trabia. It was navy blue with a small embroidered badger, the mascot of his gunblade oil. The very same shirt she expertly seemed to have pilfered from him without his knowledge...so much for those astute SeeD skills of observation. She smiled warmly at him as they made eye contact.

"Nice shirt," he remarked offhandedly.

"Thanks," she laughed. "It's one of my favorites."

Her expression and actions seemed in stark contrast to how she left yesterday. It appeared that she had not thought as much about the incident as he had. Squall wondered if he had read the situation entirely wrong, though he doubted that he had. It was Rinoa after all; she seemed to bounce back from many situations unscathed.

She continued grinning as she walked passed him, grabbing his arm. Without missing a beat, the two walked in stride slightly ahead of the other couple. Reiterating Selphie's question, only with personal intimacy and warmth, she whispered, "So, are you ready for some fun?"

"I guess," he replied honestly.

This was all new territory to him. Sure, he and Rinoa had gone to Winhill together a few months prior. There was something about that trip… Maybe it was because there was a purpose to it. He needed to face his past and, he again, sought some unspoken comfort in taking her. Selfish, maybe, but he really had relied on her strength that trip.

This, however, was another kettle of Balamb fish. This was them as a couple, going to do something with their friends - as a couple. Yet he wanted to do this for him, for her, but mainly, _for them_.

* * *

_ July 11th – Friday 1:55 p.m.  _

The twenty-two minute drive to Balamb was relatively uneventful, beside from idle chit-chat from the majority of the group. Only three were involved directly in conversation, the other one would answer with monosyllabic answers if asked directly. And only if asked directly. Squall still wasn't very versed in the art of conversation, nor did he actually have any intentions on doing so. He wasn't rude by any means and nobody ever thought of pressing the issue. He would just rather sit back and listen, and think, and wander, basically anything but get involved directly in the current debate.

For most of the trip, the majority of the conversation was solely between the two girls, with Irvine interjecting an occasional protest. It seemed that not even five minutes after getting into the vehicle, Selphie had to broach the now taboo subject of Garden's new chef. It was done intentionally, of course, just to irritate Irvine. It seemed to be an ongoing game to the couple: who could goad each other the most. Still, even with the topic of Carl, there was much laughing and giggling, plus the occasional (and not so attractive) 'snort' by Irvine.

When they arrived at the station, the four made their way to the counter. To everybody's surprise, Squall stepped forward and wordlessly paid for all the train tickets. The other three silently exchanged looks. Nobody was more pleased with this act of benevolence than his girlfriend. When questioned before boarding, Squall just shrugged his shoulders and basically stated that he wasn't the type of person to buy birthday gifts, plus he wanted to help defray the costs.

Selphie was extremely touched by his actions; even to a point where she was rendered speechless, or thought it better not to speak, and just to let the gesture stand. So she acknowledged it with a sincere "thank you" without her special, unique version of fanfare.

The conductor finally announced their train was boarding, and as predicted, Selphie had mysteriously found her way to the front of the line. Being that they were SeeDs with their own private car, they used a secondary entrance that wasn't accessible to the general public. This never deterred Selphie's determination to be the first passenger aboard the train; she just had the benefit of having an unadulterated path to her goal.

Rinoa and Squall decided to wait for the crowd to clear before they made their way forward. Well, 'crowd' as defined by Balamb train station standards, maybe fifteen passengers. Finally the group reunited in the waiting area of the private car. Selphie stood next to the control panel enthusiastically awaiting the 'magical swipe' of the card. However before Squall had the chance, Rinoa wanted to mention something that she had previously forgotten. Apparently in the car, there was little time between discussions of work, Carl, and the boisterous groans of Irvine.

"Oh, um guys, I forgot to tell you…before we left Garden, I got a hold of Zone and Watts. They asked if we'd be interested in meeting for dinner before we head on up to Dollet. I know this is your weekend Selph, so I don't want to intrude if you have plans."

"No, sounds really awesome the more, the merrier!" Selphie jumped excitedly. "Ohh, ohh, can we go to that place we went to before Rin, you know, that spaghetti place? I loved it!"

"Sounds good to me. As long as she's happy, I'm happy." Irvine pointed his thumb towards his girlfriend.

Rinoa turned to Squall, who seemed to have a slightly more apprehensive look on his face. While he knew the two guys were friends with Rinoa, they always made him felt slightly uneasy. Well more uneasy than normal when it came to social situations. Still, he wanted his girlfriend to be happy; he and Irvine were both alike in that manner.

"It's fine." He didn't elaborate, but he did say it as sincerely as possible, which made her smile.

"Great, I'll give them a call when we get settled."

"Speaking of which," began Selphie impatiently, "Squall Leonhart will you please open the door! How many times do we have to go through this – apparently, not enough?"

He pressed his lips in the beginning of a smile, took out his keycard, and swiped it through the control panel. Selphie quickly entered as the door slid open, leaving the other three behind. Both Irvine and Rinoa proceeded to follow her, but Squall made no attempt to move forward. He sighed inwardly and leaned against a nearby wall. He knew he needed to get this over with, to have this discussion before tonight. He should have done it a few days ago, but something always held him back.

"If it's all right, Rinoa, I'd like to talk to you for a moment."

Rinoa was surprised and slightly worried. It was rare for her knight to come out so directly. Of course, Irvine couldn't let this opportunity pass by and turned around with a smirk. He was going to have fun this trip, and it was immensely enjoyable to get Rinoa flustered. That was one huge difference between Selphie and Rinoa, his own girlfriend would call him out _very_ openly, and usually _very_ embarrassingly. Rinoa, on the other hand, usually tried diplomacy but when that failed (and he would make sure it would) she would resort to some feeble verbal combat, or as in the case of the D-District Prison, comical physical violence.

"Oh sure, _talk_ , I know what that means," drawled Irvine, putting way too much emphasis on a particular word.

"Yes, Irvine it means he wants to _talk_. Unlike you, not everything is a double-entendre for something else."

"Oh Rinoa, there is so much of the world I could teach you, or at least teach you about men. You may think you know what he means, he may even think he knows what he means, but I can guarantee you that he means something else, even if he doesn't know what he means."

"Irvine, nobody knows what you mean!" Rinoa groaned in frustration, trying to push him toward the still open doorway. "Are you having fun irritating me? Just get in there and go _'talk'_ to Selphie or something."

"Ah, ha…see now who is using the entendres? I taught you well," he pointed out rather matter-of-factly.

"Leave, Kinneas, and for once, keep your mind out of the gutter. We're all not you."

"But wouldn't the world be much more entertaining if you were?"

"Grrrrr," Rinoa growled forcefully pulling the door shut. Irvine looked at her through the glass, tipping his hat to her with a wry smile and wink. She squinted her eyes and pivoted on her heels abruptly, holding back anything else she would like to have stated to her friend.

"Can you believe him, Squall? What nerve! And we have to put up with him for a weekend?"

Still standing against the wall, the commander motioned toward the door. "You know, you let him do that to you."

"What?"

"If you didn't react, there would be no fun in the teasing."

She exhaled realizing she always did have a way of overreacting to nothing. "I know… it's just so annoying sometimes. I mean he makes everything into – wait, wait a minute did you just say there was _fun_ in the teasing?"

"I had fun watching," he answered indifferently.

"What, wait? Did you hear what he said?"

Squall shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, but it was just for the reaction. Remember you did tell me to have fun. It's not my fault what I find fun, is it?"

"You scare me," she laughed. "However, I don't think this was the reason you wanted to talk to me, is it?"

He shook his head all kidding aside. It was then that the train slowly started to inch from the station. She lost her footing momentarily as the car hitched backwards, before settling into a more subtle rhythm. Squall moved forward quickly reaching for her arm to steady her. She was really never in any danger of falling. She just needed to get a better stance. Still, with this new development they were a lot closer than they had been previously. He quickly realized this and retracted his hand looking away abruptly.

"Squall?" she questioned suddenly worried about the unexpected change.

There was always this unwritten line he was afraid of crossing, and although this certainly wasn't it, it somehow pertained to that. He knew he needed to be more forthright with things, as hiding behind his own doubts was doing neither of them any good.

He turned back to face her and looked her in the eyes. "I reserved two rooms."

"Uh, okay…" she replied confused by his confession. His stare continued as he didn't elaborate his point. It took a second, but his confession finally dawned on her. Damn it, Irvine would have figured this one out right away! She almost wanted to laugh at her own naivety, but knew that could be disastrous given the situation.

"Squall," she said sincerely, "That's perfectly fine." She paused searching his face for acceptance. "Was this bothering you?"

"Yes," he answered honestly. "I didn't know how you'd react…or what you'd expect."

She sighed, "The only thing I expect is for you to be you."

"It's just that-" he began, but she could tell by his posture he really didn't want to go further, yet in the same regard, he felt he had to. She needed him to know that wasn't true, he didn't have to explain.

"Squall, you know we're not everybody else. We both know that. There are no rules to this, or guidelines to follow. It's just whatever happens, happens… we'll know then. It doesn't matter how many rooms we have. It just matters that you're there."

He smiled in the knowledge that she wasn't upset. He could tell by her actions, her words, and somehow inside, he just knew.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Subconsciously he glanced around the area. Even though it was the last train car, and they were virtually unattended, he felt the unexplained need to verify the fact. He made a mental checklist of the probability of staff and other outside intrusions. When he mentally confirmed everything was clear, he reached forward and pulled her into an embrace. She smiled up at him as at first they bumped into each other rather uncomfortably. It was apparent that neither of them had managed this on a moving train before. Eventually, they somehow found a way to maneuver their footing between the rocking motions.

"Squall, have you ever kissed anybody on a train?"

Her questioned surprised him, yet somehow also intrigued him. "Um, no." Then of course he had to open his mouth and ask a blatantly stupid question. "You?"

"No," she laughed, although it wasn't funny, it was something about the manner it was said.

He was relieved by the answer, although he tried to convince himself it wouldn't have mattered either way. Still, with this new realization he felt more relaxed and even found the presence of mind to joke, "Should I go get Irvine and tell him you want to _talk."_

She playfully slapped him on the arm. "That isn't even funny."

"No, it's really not," he agreed.

Then he paused longer than he probably should have. He had found himself once again going through the mental checklist, making sure that nobody would walk in and see them. Yet, somewhere during his 'check,' he suddenly stopped caring, at least in that moment, and did what his heart wanted to do – and kissed her.


	5. Prime Factors

_ July 11th – Friday 4:49 p.m. _

"I can't believe you feel that way! _This_ really says something about the state of our relationship. _Irvy_ , I thought we were meant to be together! This is just going to make me reconsider my entire look of our relationship…my entire outlook on life!" Selphie huffed, eyeing her boyfriend with an ' _if-looks-could-kill'_ gaze.

The current debate had been sparked with passion and the utmost fervor. It was a topic that weighed heavily in the train car. The rhythmic sounds of the rails sounded like a background metronome, only intensifying Selphie's belief in the absolute truth - _**she was right.**_

"You are… you are just _so_ wrong, Irvine," she repeated firmly, crossing her arms tauntingly in front of her chest. He would learn to see the error of his ways, or she would forcefully make him see them.

Either way, he would be wrong.

However, the cowboy held his ground in this verbal noonday challenge. "No, Selph, I don't think I'm wrong on this count."

"You're so wrong. Actually, you're so wrong that it isn't even funny how _wrong_ you are!"

"It's not funny and I'm not laughing. I'm just telling you, in this particular situation, I'm not wrong. I'm right."

"Well… I'm **not** wrong, _Irvine_ , if you don't believe me, ask one of them." Selphie pointed towards the other two inhabitants sitting in the train's cabin. Rinoa looked helplessly at Squall for some type of salvation; unfortunately, he was staring off aimlessly into the horizon. Apparently, this was not one of those times her knight in untreated leather would rescue her. The last thing she wanted to do was be dragged into this rather impassioned (albeit completely idiotic) conversation between her two friends.

"Oh yeah, _right_ ," countered Irvine with a gruff chuckle, "I'm going to ask your best friend and the guy who has no opinion about anything."

"Rin would _never_ agree with me just because I'm her friend. She would only agree with me because I'm right… Although, I would like to mention, for no particular reason, that this is **my** birthday weekend."

"See, right there! That's my point, Selphie," accused Irvine, "You are hinting for her to agree with you because it's _your birthday_. If it was my birthday, I could try that same lame trick."

"Hmmph, it's only 'lame' if it doesn't work," countered the young SeeD.

"Fine, Selphie, go ahead and ask one of them. It was your idea after all."

"Why? Just so you can know for sure that I'm right. I know how much you don't like being wrong, are you really sure I should ask?"

"I said to ask them, didn't I? See if they'll answer you."

"We _are_ right here you know," stated Rinoa, annoyed that she and Squall were being talked about as if they were currently residing in another time zone. "You don't have to act like we can't hear you."

"I'm pretending I can't hear them," Squall muttered, although not so quietly.

The commander intently watched the scenery speed by the train's window. He knew if he made direct eye contact, one or more of them would know, for a fact, that yes, he was indeed there and then try to involve him in this…redundant stupidity. He was met with a rather irritating prod in the ribs from Rinoa with his comment. Apparently, she knew that he wasn't looking in her direction, so her normal 'girlfriend death glare' wasn't an option. He cursed his existence and his misfortune to be trapped with two overgrown children, and a girlfriend who felt the innate need to poke him in the ribs. It was annoying, damn it.

"Fine Rinoa, Squall what do you think?" Selphie seemed too concerned with their answer to notice any exchange between the other couple, verbal or otherwise.

Of course, Rinoa really didn't want to get involved. It just bothered her when people talked as if she wasn't there. Her father treated her that way enough in her life. It was awkward when her friends would do the same. Although, they never meant anything by it, she couldn't escape the childhood comparisons.

Still, Rinoa sighed openly as she really didn't want to state her opinion one way or another. Selphie never took being in the minority well. However, there was only one way to end this 'battle' at hand. So she did what any other trained soldier would do and bit the verbal bullet in this case.

"I'm sorry, Selphie… but, um, honestly…," she stuttered wishing that the long hours on the train had gone in a less ridiculous direction. Then again, any significant time in a metal tube on wheels, trapped closely with Selphie and Irvine, had a rather predictable conclusion.

"I, um, think Tonberry would win. I mean Carbuncle is quick, but it's really not about speed."

"Ah-hah, see!" grinned Irvine victoriously. "Now tell me who's wrong!"

Selphie still had her arms folded over her chest and let out something reminiscent of a growl.

"You are **both** wrong, that's who! You two honestly think that Tonberry could beat Carbuncle in a game of tug of war? What planet are you living on? I mean, it's Carbuncle… Tonberry is too darn lazy to even try to win."

Selphie looked hopefully at the only other person on the train that could even the field. And of course, everybody knew that a vote from the Commander of SeeD was worth more than a sorceress and a _good-for-nothing-boyfriend-who-didn't-agree-with-his-girlfriend_ - _on-her-birthday!_

"Come on, Squall, just tell me what you honestly think."

Wow, could that statement have been more open ended for him? Seriously, did she want to know what he honestly thought? No, absolutely not, so he would settle on the first thing he could say that didn't make him look like complete ass in the moment.

"I think Tonberry would take out his damn knife and cut the rope so he wouldn't have to play the stupid game. End of story. Unfortunately, he and his knife aren't here to put me out of my misery of listening to you two bicker. Can you talk about something else beside virtual GF tug-of-war?"

Yeah, okay, well maybe he had taken a detour at the path that read 'semi-ass,' but it was still better than his earlier thoughts.

"Sure… okay…" Selphie said, a slight bit shocked.

Squall was immediately welcomed with another rib prod from his girlfriend. This time, he turned to meet her glare. He was mentally ready to stand his ground. It was a stupid argument, and they all knew it. It wasn't his fault that nobody else had the sense to put an end to it until now. He would have squashed the subject completely, had he know the debate would last well over twenty minutes. However, it didn't take much to make him regret his earlier tone. It was a combination of Rinoa's expression and Selphie's defeat, but he felt the need to make amends as pathetic of an attempt as it may be.

"Plus, Selphie, Griever would kick both of their asses at tug of war," Squall managed in a somewhat authoritative tone.

The response seemed to satisfy both Rinoa and Selphie, at least for the time being. The latter decided to drop the debate, mainly because she realized she may be proven wrong in some twist of fate. This way, the discussion would be left open ended; no real decision would ever be made and she wouldn't be technically wrong. At least, that was her theory.

And also, it was her birthday weekend - so she just _couldn't_ be wrong. It was Selphie Law.

Thankfully, it was about that time the conductor announced they would be arriving in Timber within a few minutes and to gather up personal belongings. The quartet did just that, save for Squall who apparently never took advantage of the use of the overhead compartments. Apparently, being a SeeD Commander meant carrying your duffle bag on your person at all times, and not leaving it up to chance just in case the compartment was a vortex into another dimension - or something equally as likely in Squall's universe.

In the next few minutes, the commander causally observed everyone aboard the train, present company included. He couldn't help but notice how Rinoa seemed more excited about arriving in Timber than Selphie. It was a natural reaction, he supposed, given her history in the city. Still, she had only been through here a few weeks ago when she and Selphie and traveled to Dollet. This time, however, there was one major factor not included in her last journey: her friends.

As far as Squall knew, she hadn't seen Zone and Watts since Zell's birthday party in March. A three month absence to Rinoa was fairly major, especially with people she had spent nearly every day with for quite some time. Hell, in some aspects she even lived with them aboard the Forest Owl's base. He really preferred not to think of it that way - really, really preferred not to think of it that way. Still, he couldn't deny an unspoken tension that seemed to arise when he was in their company. He would have liked to believe it was all in his mind, but Zone's behavior during the Ultimecia conflict only solidified his belief. Not to mention their somewhat awkward meeting at the hospital, then again during Zell's party.

Something just never felt…right.

Not that Squall was by any means an expert on relationships, especially with the opposite gender. Having friends was relatively new to him, in particular female ones, let alone a girlfriend. He could easily have been reading the situation entirely wrong, which was highly probable. During their first meeting in Timber, he almost wanted to laugh at Zone, if he had been so inclined. He had actually thought Zone's rant about making sure Rinoa was well taken care of, and even threatening to _kill him_ , was on the verge of humorous in its own way. At that time he had little care about her personally either way, Rinoa was a client and he would protect her as such, it was a job. It almost felt as if a jealous boyfriend was lecturing him in a situation he cared little about.

At that time, at least.

Still, he wouldn't deny Zone's passion, which may be why by their second meeting he felt slightly more uncomfortable confronting the man. Watts had always been more forgiving, while Zone seemed to hold Squall to much higher standards than any of the other SeeDs. Somehow, looking back now, Squall doubted that had little to do with his position at a Garden or his command of that first mission. It was also personal with Zone; then again, maybe Squall should have just shaken his damn hand on the train to avoid the animosity.

So, now he stood waiting to disembark from a train and spend the evening with Zone and Watts. Again, not how he pictured the start of this weekend. How the hell did he picture this weekend anyhow? Whatever it was, did not involve the foolhardy duo that once ran the Forest Owls. Hopefully he could just fade into the background for awhile; maybe Selphie's eternal question of Carbuncle vs. Tonberry would keep the group engrossed mindlessly for hours.

"Squall?"

"Hmm?" he replied, fidgeting with the strap of his duffle bag.

Rinoa shook her head. "That's like the third time I've said your name, everything all right?"

"Fine," he managed as an ill-timed sigh slipped through his lips.

She looked at him suspiciously, not truly believing his answered one hundred percent. His body language seemed to speak a different answer. However, she didn't want to force the subject. He was being rather sociable, for Squall, and it was better not to press any luck. If he wanted to talk, he would in time. She replied with a smile, a gesture that most likely had gone unnoticed by her boyfriend, as he seemed more fascinated with his bag at the moment.

In another few minutes, the group felt the final tug of the train as it pulled into the Timber station. Rinoa managed to make her forward toward the door, leaving Squall and Irvine behind. She had tried to contain her excitement, for Squall's sake more than anything, but truthfully she couldn't wait to catch up with Zone and Watts. It felt as if a lifetime had passed since she had talked to them in person, as e-mails and countless phone calls were never quite the same. She still loved this town deeply, and knowing every detail, large or small, about it and her oldest friends was always exciting to her.

As soon as the door opened, Rinoa made her way out, probably a little more forcefully than she had planned. She just hadn't realized how long it had been, until now, and how excited she was at seeing the two. It didn't take long for a loud voice to cut through the throng of passengers.

"Princess!"

She grunted inwardly at the title, but was equally as glad to hear the sound of the voice. She immediately dropped her own bag as two figures neared. Her exuberance was equaled with their own as she playfully jumped into their arms.

"I missed you guys so much!" she managed between laughter.

"Us too," Watts replied, "You need to get yourself back here more often, Princess."

"Dear god," Irvine whispered, "I almost feel a little ill."

Squall held back a snort, as honestly, it wouldn't be appropriate, but his sentiments pretty much mirrored the cowboy's. Selphie was unusually quiet as she watched the events unfold. While she was glad to see Zone and Watts, it certainly wasn't on the same level that Rinoa felt. Still, she was glad her friend had this chance; it obviously meant a lot to her.

"Come on," Watts urged the others. "We're going to head back to our place. I know you wanted spaghetti Selphie, so we're picking some up on the way home. We just have some stuff we want to show Rin."

"I bet they do," Irvine retorted in his usual underappreciated style, well at least underappreciated in his mind. Selphie made no attempt to hide the fact she was rather disgusted, slapping her boyfriend's arm. Again, Irvine couldn't hold his tongue. "Anybody else find it odd that two grown men are living together…I'm just saying…"

"Who cares. Shut up!" Selphie growled, glad that Zone, Watts, and Rinoa were well out of earshot. She looked to Squall who had picked up Rinoa's bag at this point, and now carried two bags over his shoulder. She thought maybe he mumbled something, but then thought better of it; it was probably just her imagination.

No longer wanting to be in the background, Selphie hurried past a few passengers, catching up with the trio. "I'm so glad we're stopping for the spaghetti. It was the best food ever. I mean it is the… _best food ever!_ I'm just glad that Squall and Irvine will get a chance to try its greatness."

With the mention of Squall's name, Rinoa grimaced inwardly. She quickly realized just how caught up in the moment she had been, and how her actions may be perceived. Sometimes she just reacted, it was just simply who she was… She stopped at that moment, looking back to see her boyfriend walking behind with a rather indifferent expression. Her mood didn't dampen as she hurried back to him, locking their arms.

"I hope it's okay we go back to their place, they just have pictures and things from the elections I would love to see. I guess it's just some type of closure or proof to me that Timber really is free, it's hard for me to believe it's real sometimes."

As soon as he heard the words, he couldn't help feeling suddenly guilty for his earlier thoughts. Of course Rinoa, Zone, and Watts had a history, and it was something that ran very deep. It was truly one thing he admired about her, her conviction.

"I think it will be great for you to see everything." His response was honest. He could feel her hold on him tighten into a makeshift hug. She wasn't about to throw her arms around him in public, she knew better than that. He, at least for now, felt accepting of the situation. Still, the idea of being trapped with this group the rest of the night, minus Rinoa, was unsettling; he would survive for the sake of his girlfriend, and of course, Selphie's birthday weekend.

* * *

The walk to their place was rather short, even with the detour of picking up the food. Selphie was extremely content with their newly acquired goods, and was seemingly trying to hurry the rest of the group up. There was food and she was hungry!

The place itself was a two bedroom apartment which was over a bookstore. It was typical of many of the older buildings in Timber, but appeared to have lots of personality, at least that's how Rinoa would describe it. They all made their way in and found places to eat. Between using the sofa and the two chairs that Squall and Irvine scooted in from the 'dining area,' there was enough room for everybody to sit somewhat comfortably.

The conversation had been extremely light, almost non-existent. It just seemed everyone wanted to settle in, either that or nobody knew exactly what to say. Rinoa sat in the middle of the couch, with Selphie and Zone on either side. She honestly figured she would be next to Squall, but both Garden men had pulled chairs from the other room, so she and Selphie took the couch.

Zone was the first to attempt any sort of conversation, "So, how are you really doing, Princess?"

Squall found himself unconsciously looking at the other man, wondering about the phrasing of the question. It sounded innocent at first, but there was something rather implied in it. Maybe the commander was just reading into things that weren't there, at least he hoped.

"Well, I'd be doing much better if you would never call me Princess again," Rinoa joked, playfully pretending to slug him on the arm. Zone, of course, had to take this moment to be dramatic, holding his bicep and wincing in pain.

"How could you Princess? You used to believe in peace, and now look at you! I think you've been at Garden too long."

Okay, now Squall knew that something was _definitely_ implied with that statement.

Rinoa in response squinted her eyes and glared at her friend in jest, trying to take the comment as an attempt at humor.

"Well, you know that Garden's main objective now is protection and security. Two things you are going to surely need if you continue to call me Princess." Rinoa tried to play it off knowing the history of everyone in the room.

It seemed that, as usual, Watts was going to be the one to try and smooth the situation over.

"See Zone, she couldn't be in a safer place. Everyone there would protect her."

With that comment, Rinoa and Squall exchanged a glance; it was understood between them. Sure they would protect until they knew she was a sorceress, but what then? Still, this weekend wasn't about her problems, it was about having fun.

"So guys," Rinoa quickly tried to change the subject putting her plate on the coffee table. "Where are these pictures? I hope you have some from that dinner before the election, I'll always remember the fun we had that night. One of the best times I ever had." She mentally scolded herself, now she was starting to take a double meaning into the words she said. "I mean, it was just so great the people of Timber had a reason to celebrate… I haven't seen the kids have so much fun here in a very long time."

"I'll be right back, have to go get them," Watts explained as he jumped out of his seat, nearly knocking over Irvine's spaghetti in the process. At least that tragedy had been averted with the cowboy's quick reflexes.

Knowing that the evening was about to get rather boring, at least in his opinion, Irvine asked Squall if he'd be interested in a few hands of Triple Triad. It would keep them entertained as the others walked down memory lane. Even though Selphie wasn't there, she was one who could look at other people's photos forever and honestly enjoy herself in doing so.

Twenty minutes later Irvine and Squall were at the small dining room table fully engrossed in their game. The other four were sitting on the floor laughing about everything they said. There was something contagious about their giggles, as everyone was enjoying themselves as much as possible.

* * *

It had been just under an hour when Selphie innocently asked if she could get another drink. Of course, this simple gesture would lead to a startling revelation in time, and one that someone would have rather never come to light.

"No problem, anybody else want anything?" Zone asked getting up from the floor.

Rinoa also stood, reaching her arms over her head. She didn't realize she had been in one position for so long. "Sounds good to me, I'll help. I need to stretch my legs."

"Thanks."

As they walked by the guys at the table, Rinoa stood behind her boyfriend putting her arms lightly around his shoulders. Zone stopped also, as he too was a large Triple Triad enthusiast, and always liked to check out other people's strategy.

The commander tried to ignore the sudden appearance of a live audience and just concentrate on his move. After studying the board, Squall finally pulled the Shiva card from his deck. The commander momentarily hesitated before placing the card in the corner. He quickly flipped over two of Irvine's lower value cards.

"Miss that Shiva card," Zone casually announced as the play ended. "Still, it was worth it. That is still the best issue of the 'Girl Next Door.' If I had been you Squall, I would have never parted with it. That issue was a true collector's edition."

Irvine immediately let out a laugh, even though he knew damn well he shouldn't. Still the look of pure horror on Squall's usually stoic face was beyond classic.

"What?" Rinoa questioned wondering if she had heard Zone right.

"It really is a good issue, right Squall? It's my personal favorite too." Irvine laughed, knowing his assistance was certainly not wanted, but he was glad to offer it anyhow. "At least you got a Shiva card, because you know, if you squint your eyes, turn the card slightly sideways and…" He cut himself off at that, seeing the look Squall was giving him. "Sorry, just trying to help man."

Oh, Irvine was having a good time with this. A very good time.

"I…" Squall began, quickly falling flat under pressure. Unfortunately, this particular situation was strangely omitted from the SeeD manual. The commander didn't want to turn around and look at his girlfriend, who during this time had skillfully removed her arms from around his neck. Somehow he wondered if Zone had done this on purpose, or again, if he was just letting his imagination get the better of him.

"Oh sorry man, didn't think that one through too much…" Zone apologized.

"Okay, so what's the story? When did all of this happen? At Zell's birthday party?" Rinoa asked rather monotone.

"No, a little further back…" Zone tried to elaborate, obvious that the commander was not real thrilled about discussing the situation himself. "It's really no big deal, it was when everyone came to the White SeeD ship. You were asleep in that coma or something…"

Could this get any worse? Would the guy just shut up? Then again, what could Squall say that would make the situation sound any better? He could go with the truth, which he damn well knew he should do, but somehow the truth seemed…well, very, very bad.

"I was in a coma, and you were trading dirty magazines with Zone?"

Squall sighed, there was no diplomatic way around this, and he wasn't going to let Zone get him into anymore trouble. This was already becoming the longest weekend of his life.

The commander took one last glance at the Triple Triad board before standing up and facing his girlfriend. "No Rin, it wasn't exactly like that, he just saw that I was carrying it and…" Yeah, maybe he should have let Zone keep explaining.

Squall sighed, okay he was going to try the truth…all the embarrassing details that were going to come back and kick him in the ass. "Remember way back when we went to Timber Maniacs? I was searching through all the piles of magazines, most were the battle series, and I had read all of those."

"So, you picked up 'Girl Next Door' for the insightful articles?"

"Ah…well."

"Good one Squall, so now fast-forward," encouraged Rinoa

"Do I have to?"

"Yes." Irvine and Rinoa said at the same time, although for completely different reasons. Squall couldn't tell if Rinoa was genuinely upset with him, or just extremely curious. He really didn't know how he would feel if the situation had been reversed.

" _Shit,"_ he cursed to himself. He didn't swear too often, but this seemed like an appropriate occasion. Apparently, his prolonged silence wasn't answering any of Rinoa's questions, so she began to fill in the blanks.

"So… basically I was in a coma, and somehow, you were walking around with said magazine? Not only that, when you were on the SeeD ship, the magazine was apparently obvious enough so that Zone could see it."

"It's not exactly like that." Well, crap it was almost exactly like that. Still Squall had to say something. "When I was at the orphanage, Matron mentioned where the White SeeDs liked to dock. At that point, I was on the bridge marking off coordinates. When we finally discovered the ship's location, I reached in my jacket pocket and it was just there…so I wrote on it."

"Um…don't you have memo pads all around the bridge? Or an envelope? The first thing you grabbed in your coat pocket was _that_ magazine?"

"Well, I for one, know that Squall usually keeps a notepad in his jacket," Irvine piped up again, offering his own special brand of help.

"So, why didn't you just use that?" Rinoa looked back at Squall, waiting for an answer.

"Well," Irvine managed barely keeping a straight face. "How would he have room for a notepad with the magazine in there? It was a double issue after all."

"That's enough!" Squall said irritably, he wasn't sure if he was more angry or embarrassed, but either way, it wasn't a good combination. "Follow me." It sounded more of an order than he intended, it was merely military habit at that point. He continued walking down the hall into one of the bedrooms. He wasn't sure whose it was, and honestly, he didn't care. He just didn't need everybody to hear this crap anymore.

"Yes, Rinoa, it was a stupid series of events, and I honestly cannot begin to explain my thought process. The facts are: I basically stole a magazine from Timber Maniacs and then walked around with it. I have no excuse, I still can't explain it. I'm sorry."

Rinoa wasn't honestly sure if she was irritated by the situation, or if she wanted to laugh by the total ridiculousness of it. If anything, it was just a shock that caught her off guard. She would have figured it from Zone or Irvine, hell she pretty much expected it of them to a point. Still, it may have been the fact that it was such a 'normal' teenage male thing, that it totally caught her off guard with Squall. The fact that he was so upset about it now made her feel guilty, which was never her intention.

"You know what?" She smiled in reassurance; he really did almost look helpless standing there. And if there was one thing that Squall Leonhart normally wasn't, it was helpless. "Squall, guess what, you're human. I'm not going to pretend I understand everything; honestly it's a little surprising. But I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just very…normal. You don't have to try and explain any further, I get it, really. I was just caught off guard by the whole thing. That's the best way I can explain it."

"Thanks." His reply was uncertain, but he managed. He scratched the back of his head wondering if he could say anything to sooth this over. "Did I mention that I was _very_ distraught?"

"You better have been," Rinoa finally was able to laugh. "Know what I always wondered?"

"No. If it is in _anyway_ related to the first part of this conversation, I think I'll pass."

"That night in FH when we were at the concert, Irvine had that magazine sitting right there…open. You sat down right next to it, never attempting to close it!"

Oh that. Yeah, well looking back now it may have been slightly inappropriate. But that was Irvine's fault! Yet even he could see looking back on it now, it was almost amusing in a way he would have never believed possible. Maybe he could learn to laugh about all this later. Maybe.

"Well, it was a long day…thought the day should have some merit." He raised his head, lifting an eyebrow at his comment.

"Oh don't play cute with me Leonhart."

"Guess you missed me pick up that issue and stuff it in my jacket when we left."

…He was kidding, right?


	6. Retrospect

_July 11_ _th_ _9:57 p.m._

To say that Squall was thrilled to be crammed in a car with Rinoa, Selphie, and Irvine was a realistic absurdity. Under any normal circumstance being trapped in here would be considered the unthinkable, but after all the events that transpired this evening, he was quite frankly… thrilled. Again, a paradox that only he could find himself part of.

The rest of the evening at Watts and Zone's had gone relatively smoothly. Then again, if given a choice, he would have rather been buried in the Fire Cave being charbroiled by Ifrit's Hellfire than stay at that apartment any longer. Well, that may be a tad on the drastic side, but just _a tad_. He had endured so much during his military life, but somehow, nothing quite prepared him for the rigors of going out with Rinoa. He was damn well going to look into having Garden teach classes on dating, somebody needed to warn young SeeDs about this deadly hazard.

It had been difficult for him to concentrate after the 'incident that shall not be named.' However, Rinoa didn't seem fazed by the whole sordid magazine exchange.

Earlier, after leaving the bedroom, she returned to her friends and looked at photographs without a care in the world. Squall, on the other hand, slinked slower than a Caterchipillar back to his game of Triple Triad. He spent the rest of the evening silently cursing Irvine. Of course the cowboy had not initially been responsible, but he sure as hell added fuel to the fire. Plus Squall knew the cowboy would never let this go, it was great ammunition and Irvine was both a literal and a verbal sharpshooter.

Just before nine, everyone said their goodbyes and/or grunted their parting salutations. After a ten minute walk, the quartet was on their way to pick up the rental car. Selphie had decided it would be a 'great idea' to drive the last two hours of the trip. Thankfully, for all parties involved, Irvine spoke up and took the task of driving upon himself. Squall was used to putting his life at risk, but Selphie behind the wheel went way passed the norm of sanity. Luckily the Ragnarok had many safety features, so flying that was virtually automatic and foolproof. Sadly, Esthar had not converted those specific technologies for cars in everyday use. There was a collective sigh of relief when Irvine stated he was driving, especially from the duo in the backseat.

Now Squall sat next to Rinoa in the backseat of a rental car. It was about thirty minutes into a two hour drive and he was desperately trying to fade into the faux, plastic leather of the seats. Again, maybe the others would forget he was even in the vehicle. It was a long shot, but hey, it didn't deter his hope. The conversation had been as on the train, mainly bantering between the two females. Irvine even commented that Selphie and Rinoa should have been seated together and let the males remain in some semblance of peace. The girls laughed it off… Squall thought it was a wonderful idea.

"Seriously, I kid you not Rin, he so did that!" Selphie laughed hysterically from the passenger seat.

"I um…wow…I'm speechless. Irvine, I gotta say, I'm a little more scared of you, which I didn't think was possible," Rinoa answered from the back, trying to contain a glint of laughter.

"Oh, that's not even the half of it. He then showed his 'art masterpiece' to the instructor. And the teacher's response in front of the class was, 'What a creative, and _anatomically correct_ , use of two Wizard Stones and a Mesmerize Blade… Now report directly to the headmaster's office and don't forget to take your sculpture with you!' Seriously, I wish I could've seen Martine's reaction when he saw it sitting on his desk. Priceless."

Irvine then explained triumphantly, "I'd have you guys know, I not only got a perfect grade in that class, I got at least ten phone numbers."

Selphie faced the backseat and said in a stage whisper, "Sadly, half of the supposed 'phone numbers' were from guys."

"One!" Irvine protested, "Only one was a guy!"

"Uh huh… **one** ," Selphie said mockingly as she turned to face forward. After a few seconds of talking downtime Selphie, ever the concerned hostess, decided to keep the conversation going. She would say something, even if it was the first random idea that popped into her mind. "So, you guys want to play a car game? I spy, twenty questions, or maybe a few rounds of truth or dare?"

Squall immediately tensed at the thought. There is no way he was going to play such juvenile games and certainly not in Irvine's company. The combination was deadly. Thankfully, Rinoa either sensed his discomfort or felt her own and quickly snuffed the idea out.

"Um, yeah, I don't think so Selph. Last time I played anything like that...it didn't end well. Plus, you know, I'd be scarred for life if I heard any of Irvine's answers to truth or dare."

"Very true," the cowboy stated lightheartedly, "counseling would be mandatory."

Rinoa knew a quick topic change was needed. "So um…what do you have planned for this weekend or are we just playing it by ear?"

"I have ideas," Selphie announced, although rather reluctantly. "Tomorrow's a surprise during the day… But in the evening, I want to go this new club I heard about."

Rinoa bit her lip. The idea of a club and Squall, well it was a rather funny mental image. The idea of him dancing, mingling, or anything of the like was extremely humorous. Though it would probably be the equivalent Zell's birthday, which wasn't too bad. She doubted Squall had much fun that night, but he also didn't complain. She hoped for the best.

The rest of the drive went on without incident. It took a while, though it felt more like centuries, but the car finally drove through the outskirts of Dollet. It was just before midnight when the group made it downtown, and then located a parking space within walking distance.

There was a slight ordeal with Irvine attempting to parallel park, which he had assured he could do with ease – being from a big city and all. However, it had been forever since he tried and there was much yelling, screaming, and very close calls to scraping paint. Finally annoyed, Squall got out and guided him with proper directions. Apparently the commander didn't trust Selphie to the task (though she had offered emphatically). He could only imagine her flailing her arms wildly like an Ochu's tentacles. Someone with a calmer demeanor was needed. An Ochu directing traffic never ended well for any parties involved.

So after the ten minute parking situation, they all gathered their bags and headed into the hotel. It was just as the group remembered from before, pretty much the same décor and even the same hostess. Selphie had to quickly thwart Irvine's attempt to challenge the attendant to a game of Triple Triad. He had a third addition beside guns and women, it just never sounded as cool to admit out loud.

"We're here to check in," Selphie happily announced as she walked to the counter.

"Names?" The woman asked, examining the two couples with a curious glance.

"One's under Kinneas, and two under Leonhart."

Selphie was eagerly bouncing from one foot to the other. She was always excited about the prospect of checking into hotels. It made no rational sense, it was just fun! There was just something thrilling about staying somewhere new, plus she loved those miniature shampoo and conditioner bottles. They were just so cool! Tonight was even better than her previous stay here; she didn't have to fight Zell for the rights to all the complimentary goodies.

"Very well. I'll do the single check-in first," the hostess replied, quickly entering something on her keyboard.

Squall remained in the background, honestly trying to sort through conflicting emotions. Here were Selphie and Irvine sharing a room – together as a couple. Their relationship had started way after his and Rinoa's and those two were so free and unencumbered about the intimacy of rooming together. He wished he had that confidence, or whatever it was that seemed to be holding him back. Right now, he couldn't say. It certainly wasn't a lack of desire - that was there…even when he _really_ wished it wasn't. Fear? Maybe. For some it was so easy, hell for most everybody else it seemed.

He didn't even want to look in Rinoa's direction, unsure of how to react in this situation. It shouldn't be a situation, and he knew it, but still it was. He knew that he was probably making a bigger deal of this than her; he had done it previously while getting reservation. Still, now that they were actually in Dollet and Irvine and Selphie were getting a key to their room, well, it seemed that he questioned his doubts even more.

"Squall?"

"Huh?" He looked up dumfounded and saw Selphie brightly smiling. Irvine, of course, was smirking in a rather obnoxious fashion. Squall only hoped that man couldn't figure out his thoughts, but his sly wink implied otherwise. Damn him.

"She's ready for you." Selphie motioned to the woman behind the counter. The hotel employee also seemed to be scrutinizing Squall's behavior, at least, that's how he saw it.

The hostess smiled, acting ever the professional, "How will you be paying for your room, sir?"

"Credit card," he mumbled nearly incoherently. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out his wallet, and slapped the card down on the counter a little harder than he meant. He really wanted to get to his room and fall asleep until he could forget this evening ever happened. This night just couldn't end soon enough.

"And this is for the second room, right?"

"No, both rooms under Leonhart," he corrected. Though he was more irritated at himself than her, she was just the easiest to take his aggravation out on.

He felt a tug at his arm, and out of habit, he turned around with a cold glare. When he realized it was Rinoa, he immediately felt a surge of guilt. This wasn't her fault, not in the least.

"Squall, I don't expect you to pay for my room. I'm the one who dragged you to Dollet."

"It's fine," he stated simply, waving it off with his hand. He turned back to the counter without any further explanation.

Rinoa stood shocked. That certainly wasn't the reaction she expected from him. It was almost abrupt and dismissive. She sighed and wanted to question him but she also knew this wasn't the time or place. Then again, she thought about all the absurdity he had endured today. He spent the day listening to ridiculous arguments in the train, avoided childish games in the car, and spent the evening trying to defend his taste in magazines. Honestly, taking all that into consideration, she was damn glad he didn't take Lion Heart and start hacking all the upholstery in the lobby.

After filling out the appropriate paperwork (even on vacation he couldn't escape its wrath) he was handed two keycards in separate envelopes. He feigned interest as the hostess circled the rooms on a piece of paper, which she then handed to him. He was positive that he was intelligent enough to find the rooms without having a red ink pen outlining his path. He nodded an acknowledgement to the woman as they left. It wasn't her fault his night had been pure hell. Still, did she have to smile so perkily? It was rather Selphie-esque of her.

"So what floor are we on?" Rinoa asked as they headed to the elevator.

Squall glanced down at the piece of paper, he really had pretty much zoned out the directions all together.

"Third," he answered, simply checking their circled room numbers, "314 and 316."

"That's so cool, we're in 315!" Selphie announced skipping into the elevator. She quickly hit the proper button for their floor. Again, without Zell there to oppose, her domination in all-fun-things-hotel-related was pretty much guaranteed.

"I so love this part!" Selphie squeaked as the doors closed, and then waved at herself in the mirrored reflection.

"Selphie, there's an elevator at Garden, you know," Rinoa laughed at her friend's behavior.

"Oh, but it's not this big and fancy! I mean look, this has velvet wallpaper, carpet on the floor, and instrumental jazz. This is the best in luxury elevators."

Squall leaned against the wall longing to get upstairs and find peace and quiet. He finally glanced to Rinoa who unfortunately sensed his gaze. Looking upward, she turned and gave him a reassuring smile. She seemed to be enjoying herself and that made everything (almost) tolerable in his opinion. He did have to admit it was nice to get away from Garden, and away from anything that involved fighting. Okay, well there was going to be fighting. It was inevitable given present company, just not the kind he was trained for.

As the doors opened, Squall lagged slightly behind the others. The group followed the metal signs to their rooms. He wished he could just magically disappear into his room as somehow standing out in the hall was becoming exceedingly awkward. The longer he stood, the more his earlier doubts magnified.

"So, should we make plans for breakfast tomorrow? I know the hotel offers something downstairs," Rinoa asked fidgeting with her duffle bag.

"Um…" Selphie looked sheepishly at Irvine.

He grinned understanding her meaning. Of course, he didn't answer with quite the tact that his girlfriend had hoped.

"Well, not sure what time we're going to roll ourselves out of bed, I plan on keeping her up for at least several more _enjoyable_ hours… See, the night's still young and-" Luckily, Selphie decided to 'gently nudge' him in the ribs before he went into graphic detail.

"What Irvine's trying to say is: go ahead and make breakfast plans without us."

"Oh, yeah…okay…should have thought that one through before I asked," Rinoa said trying not to become too embarrassed. Normally she wouldn't be, but with Squall standing there, especially in their current location, she felt rather foolish. She should have known the obvious.

After several seconds of awkward silence, Irvine trudged through his pain coming up with a general game plan for tomorrow. "Why don't we say that we'll meet you downstairs at eleven? That way we can head out and can catch lunch, and do whatever Selphie has planned for us."

"Sounds good," Rinoa answered, cautiously avoiding eye contact with Squall.

"We're going to head into the room now, let you enjoy some quality time in the hallway," Irvine stated with a wink. He then removed the key and opened the door to their room.

"Sleep well you two, I'm so, so glad you came," Selphie managed as Irvine dragged her inside. "It's going to be the best birthday weekend ever! Ever!"

"Goodnight," the sorceress replied. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Squall waving his hand. He muttered something which she believed to be 'night.' At least, that's what she hoped it was, who knows what he really said.

The other couple closed the door and the two now stood alone in the hall. Squall seemed to be doing something that might have been cracking his neck or some form of stretching. Rinoa couldn't tell as she didn't look at him directly. Instead, she was studying the design on the hotel carpet. Apparently, the paisley pattern had become the most fascinating thing in the entire world.

Rinoa finally broke the tension, "Well, guess we better get to our rooms… Um so do you want to meet up for breakfast?" She looked up in his general direction, but still avoided direct eye contact.

"All right, does five sound reasonable?"

"What!" Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. Who gets up that early on their morning off? However, the comment did get her to look him directly in the eyes with utter horror.

"Too late?" he questioned. "Fine, four thirty then, but no earlier. Don't be late." His tone was more along the lines of commander than boyfriend.

"…You're kidding, right?" She asked still aghast. Again, who gets up that early? Yeah, okay, he did, but usually to go to the training center or something equally as _Squall._

"Yes, I am."

His short answer was in the same formal tone, which made her burst into laughter. At least he had managed to break the tension with his unorthodox sense of humor and timing. It was truly one of a kind. With that single action, she found herself relaxing. She even dared to walk over to him, stand on her tiptoes, and then give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered regaining her balance, her hand still resting on his arm. Sometimes the height difference was annoying.

"For what?"

"Well, for everything. Thank you for coming to Dollet with us. Thank you for putting up with all the craziness. Thank you for paying for my room, which you still didn't have to do. And thank you for just being you... Oh yeah, and thank you for not making me get up at some god-awful time in the morning."

"Oh, all right. I thought you were thankful for the fact you won't be in the room next to Selphie and Irvine… I suddenly feel sorry for the people that are."

She couldn't believe he had said anything of the sort and again she found herself laughing at his humor. And also, she was _very_ thankful for that fact.

"So will nine work?" Squall asked, hoping to get back to the breakfast topic. He wasn't sure why he had made the previous comment, but somehow, it was like so many blunders in his life and it just sort of slipped from his mouth.

"I think I can manage getting up by then. I know they have coffee downstairs."

Glancing at the two room cards in his hand, he held them out offering the choice to her. "Which one do you want… 314 or 316?"

"Such a major decision… I'll just leave it up to fate." Rinoa closed her eyes and spun around in a few circles. When she had made it around the third time, she put her arms out and felt for the keys. After a few seconds of trying to get her bearings acclimated, she managed to find his hands and grabbed the first card she felt.

"316 it is!" Rinoa proclaimed as she read the number printed on the outer envelope.

"I'd hate to see your ritual for a major decision." He smiled. It felt good and almost comfortable to do so. She had a way of being unpredictable, he envied that.

"So, guess I'll see you at nine tomorrow?" Holding up her key, she smiled before finally starting to open her door. She felt that the mood was decent and she wanted to leave it at that. She knew he had been extremely uncomfortable early and wanted to leave the night on a positive note.

"Yeah," he replied without the enthusiasm from the moments before. Part of him knew that he should talk to Rinoa and attempt to explain his doubts. He just never knew what to say, or how to say it. He should just walk away while everything still made sense, yet his mouth did just the opposite that his brain wanted him to do.

"Rinoa, about the separate rooms…"

She froze at the door. It was either from the shock that he said it so candidly or that he brought up the subject at all. It was something that she had not expected to hear so directly. It pained her that he was even feeling this way. He was not everybody else, they were not everybody else. She wished he didn't think there was some norm to relationship standards.

"Squall, don't… we're not Selphie and Irvine. Eventually things will work themselves out… when we're ready and when we're prepared… we'll know when it's right. That means both of us. All I could ask of you is that you're here, with me, and you are. That's all I need right now."

He wanted to answer her or explain further, but couldn't. He couldn't explain to himself. Sometimes he could be open about personal subjects and other times, he completely clammed up at the thought. And at other times, he would let natural instinct take hold and show her by actions rather than explanations. Never in his life would he have thought that the simple act of kissing someone could convey such complex emotions. Still, there was always a time that he would regain control of himself. He knew that someday he would allow himself to give into the desires, but the fear of losing control and giving himself so freely was unthinkable right now.

"Okay," he said after some contemplation. Her answer had brought some ease to his mind.

"Night, Squall. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," he added as they both made the way into their rooms. He wasn't sure if the conversation had truly been over, but it was enough for tonight.

Rinoa started into her room, just managing to find the light switch. As the door started to close, she felt a presence behind her. Before she could turn via her own accord, a hand reached for her shoulder and spun her around. Unfortunately, her duffle bag had some momentum, and ended up whacking her assailant forcefully in the thigh.

"Oh my god! Squall, are you okay?"

He nodded mentally making note never to be spontaneous again when she was wielding a near-weapon on her shoulder. If it had landed a few more inches over, this could have been a very embarrassing, and painful, situation. So after that brief setback, he followed through with his initial goal.

"You know Rinoa, I said goodnight."

"Didn't I say it?"

"Yes, but not the right way."

He reached for her mindful of the bag this time. Thankfully he had set his out in the hallway. He may have had doubts about certain aspects of relationships, but he had gotten quite comfortable in kissing her. Four months ago he hesitated at even that act, now he found he almost craved it. It was the closeness, the emotion, and so many needs he couldn't even fathom. They may not have been sharing a room, but he was defiantly going to take advantage of not being at Garden, and feeling certain restrictions that mentally hindered him often. It wasn't as if he was kissing her in a busy hallway, they were for the most part in her room just the door remained slightly open.

He closed his eyes as their lips united. It wasn't with the same fervor as some of their encounters. It was more like a small series of kisses ending with a longer one. He moved his hand so it rested on the side of her face as they parted. She smiled yet again thankful for everything they had accomplished. A few months ago, something as simple as this would have been a barrier to overcome.

"Goodnight," he said before leaning, giving her one final kiss.

* * *

_July 12th 6:45 a.m. _

He lay in bed stirring for the last few hours. Squall had slept relatively well, given he was in a strange place, in a strange bed. Normally, he would never have lounged around this long. It almost felt anti-productive just doing nothing. But there was no training center to go to, no paperwork to fill out, or nobody needing disciplinary action. However, there was a complementary gourmet coffee bar in the lobby, which seemed to be calling his name.

He showered and dressed before heading downstairs. He looked at the watch and it was only 7:30, still an hour and a half until he was supposed to meet Rinoa for breakfast. This was insane, who sleeps in this late? He felt as if half of the day was already wasted away in bed. Years of training and discipline had been ingrained in his psyche, and getting away for one weekend wasn't going to suddenly break lifelong habits. He seriously wished that he had brought his gunblade with him, or even bothered to get the car keys from Irvine. He needed to do something productive.

He noted there were two employees behind the counter and figured that he'd ask them what there was to do in this place. He had never spent his life as a, well rather loosely defined tourist, but that is exactly how he felt. As many times has he had been to Dollet, there was always a purpose to the visits. He never really took much time just to take in the sights. Sure when they were here during Ultimecia, he usually stayed in the background as the others found their own entertainment during downtime.

He walked up to the man behind the counter, "Can you tell me, is there anywhere nearby to access to a computer?"

"Yes sir, we do have an executive business center with free internet to all registered guests. It's just down the hall to the left."

"Thanks."

Squall grabbed his freshly poured coffee and started to the computer. He knew that Rinoa would be highly disappointed with him. He was supposed to be getting away from Garden and all its hassles, but unfortunately, it was easier to detach physically rather than mentally. He made his way into the small room, which was very executive in design. Before he knew it, he had logged into his email and was taking notes on some conveniently placed paper. In his near eighteen hour absence, and even while on _supposed_ suspension, he had nearly fifty unread emails.

The next few hours fell into routine, replying, sending, and editing of email replies. There wasn't much he could look up on a computer outside of Garden, but he tried to do what he could without breaking confidentiality. He had been so caught up in work he didn't even pay attention as someone walked into the room.

"So, I found you."

"What?" he looked horrified, realizing that time had completely escaped him. "Rinoa, I'm so sorry."

She sighed, there was no point of arguing. He was who he was. She wasn't angry, maybe a little disappointed, but those were her issues, not his. Honestly, when he didn't show up at her room, she went downstairs and checked the restaurant. When he still wasn't there, it didn't take a huge leap to figure out his mindset. She asked at the lobby and quickly made the connection.

"It's all right. I'm just not used to you being the late one, that's kinda my job." Rinoa put her hand on his shoulder giving it a light squeeze.

"I just wanted to check on…things got away from me," he answered apologetically. She had to put up with his work ethic constantly at Garden, now here she had been technically stood up because of it on their weekend getaway.

"You know what, I'm starving. Let's say we go get that breakfast." She was reassuring with her words.

Agreeing, he logged out of the computer not wanting to give her another empty excuse. So it was just easier to let it the situation be. In a way, she didn't seem all that surprised or upset, he wondered if that bothered him more than forgetting to pick her up. Had she gotten so used to this it no longer fazed her?

The breakfast had gone well, both were glad for the change from Garden. Still, now that there were slightly behind schedule, it was only thirty minutes until they were to meet Irvine and Selphie…for lunch. Apparently, they had not thought that one through. They had gone back up to their rooms and prepared for the day, well made as many preparations as possible when neither had the slightest clue what they were doing.

Rinoa sat in the lobby, reading a random brochure she had gathered from a nearby rack. They were entertaining at least. She never knew that Dollet had so many tourist attractions. It had everything from chartered fishing boats, a wild Geezard preserve, and countless winery tours. There were even a few museums that looked promising, though she doubted that she could drag anyone to them.

Squall, on the other hand, sat next to her leafing through his notes from earlier. Part of him wanted to do something else, but honestly, looking at brochures and useless literate wasn't his thing. He might was well make productive use of this time.

"Hey kids, you two behave last night?" Irvine said loudly enough for a few of the hotel's patrons to look their way.

"Funny," Rinoa stated mildly irritated at him. It wasn't that she didn't expect those comments, but it was just the volume at which they were spoken.

"We just got done eating a little bit ago…room service," Selphie added. "Are you guys ready for lunch or can we wait?"

"Thank goodness, we just finished too. Got held up a little this morning…though obviously not for the same reasons as you two." Rinoa felt relief, she doubted she could make it through another meal with her stomach intact.

"Great, ready to go then!" Selphie bounced over, grabbed her arm, and nearly dragged her from the sofa.

"You going to tell us what's up?"

"I guess I can let you in on my little secret…" she whispered for effect. "We're going bungee jumping!"

"What?" Rinoa freaked, this had to be a very, very bad joke. Who jumps off a cliff for fun? Oh yeah… Selphie.

"It's going to be great. We get to jump as couples. It's right over a huge gorge, off one of the oldest bridges on the Galbadian continent," Irvine explained.

"Those are not selling points," Rinoa managed feeling weak enough to fall back onto the couch. Her body flushed and she felt faint. "Honestly, _not_ selling points…"

Apparently, she wasn't going to make it through this with her stomach intact after all.

Whose idea was this weekend anyhow?


	7. Extreme Risk

_ July 12 _ _ th _ _ 11:21 a.m. _

"I can't believe we gave up that parking space," Irvine grumbled as his eyes stared intently at the narrow road before him.

"And I can't believe you wanted to walk up a mountain just to get out of parallel parking again. What a man!" Selphie huffed crossing her arms and purposely looking out of the passenger window. This was a full blown protest.

"Whatever," Irvine answered, borrowing the commander's usual indifference. "Just so you realize that we are now driving up the world's most dangerous road in a car designed by a Moomba! They're not exactly known for the ability to produce quality off road vehicles ya know."

"Oh sure, blame the poor defenseless Moombas and not bad driving skills. Your ability to actually stay on the road is only outweighed by your ability to parallel park Mr. Deling City Guy…"

"Hey, hey now… I'm not the only one in the car from Deling, remember? Plus what? Do you think you can drive better Ms. Trabia…they don't even have roads there!"

"And strangely enough, I could still stay on them better than you and - Oh My God Irvine! Did you see how close you were to the edge there? I saw my life pass before my eyes and it wasn't pretty…especially the parts where you were stark naked except for your stupid cowboy hat!"

…And that was as far as Squall could let this conversation go. He was trying to drown it out, but it was impossible, plus now he had a mental image he really, really didn't want. There was a line that had been suddenly crossed and that, unfortunately, would haunt him forever. Not to mention he also curiously wondered if Rinoa had the same image, which was also rather disturbing. He hoped that she didn't, women don't picture that sort of thing, right? Great, now with that thought, he was even more irritated than before.

"Guys, could you two please stop?" His question was more of an order. At least that was the way it was intended. He still had to have some command authority in this situation… at least he hoped.

"Some of us would rather enjoy the scenery in peace," Squall continued.

Okay, he really wasn't referring to himself, but he needed to say something to stop the bickering. These two truly did have the most dysfunctional yet loving relationship in recorded history. They weren't always like this; in fact, they were normally quite loving and considerate of one another. Even Squall had begun to see how well they meshed after the initial shock of their hooking up wore off. It was only in some of these unique situations that their petty arguments magnified.

"Sorry," both replied in unison, though Selphie still refused to look at her boyfriend.

"You doing all right?" Squall whispered soft enough for only Rinoa to hear. She looked up at him and offered only a hint of a smile. It wasn't her normal comforting gesture, it was forced.

After they left the hotel, she had been nearly wordless. He could tell that she was not handling the idea of jumping well, but she seemed to be pushing through her fears… at least for now.

She never said outright that she had a fear of heights; it was just something that he had always sensed. Even when they flew in the Ragnarok, she always clammed up at take off. A little into the flight she would loosen, but it usually took the conversation and solace of her friends. He couldn't blame her after thinking about all the things she had endured over their journey: floating hapless in space, hanging off Garden's edge, and even the endless fall in time compression.

Somehow she had managed through, maybe off the strength of others and the desire to survive. Yet, those things were not done voluntarily, they happened because of happenstance. There was a huge difference from the wills of fate and the act of purposely jumping off a bridge.

It was times like this he realized just how different their upbringing had been. It wasn't just an emotional difference, it was also the ability to let go and make the most out of an adventurous spirit. He had lived for the rush of battle and the adrenaline of facing nearly insurmountable odds. Even in his last trip to Dollet with the cadets, he got a rush from climbing up the mountain. It was only the teaching and supervisory aspects that didn't sit well with him, the adventure was exhilarating.

This was truly a difference that defined them. Last night he was the one in quiet contemplation, now the situation was reversed. They both had their own fears to overcome, but they were at opposite ends of the spectrum. Still, if there was one thing he had taken away dealing with cadets it was how to help them through the situation. The SeeDs ended up a little worse for wear however, so he would do his damndest to be there for her during this - physically and mentally.

She had been tense as they had gotten into the car. Rinoa didn't refuse to go outright, or speak further against the subject. She just channeled her emotions in silence. As they pulled onto the main road, Squall had instinctively placed his arm around her. He didn't even remember contemplating doing it, or even thinking about the action. He simply just did it. She leaned onto his chest and rested her head just below his.

And that is how they sat in silence, at least between themselves. The occupants of the front seat…well, not so much. After Squall had said something to them, both Irvine and Selphie seemed to be getting along. Or at least they had stopped arguing enough to let Irvine concentrate on his driving. It was about twenty minutes up the winding road, which eventually turned from paved to dirt. They finally reached a clearing, which turned out to be the end of the line for them. Irvine parked next to a few other cars that were there and pointed to a sign that marked a path.

"There it is Behemoth Bridge and Bungee Service!" Selphie pointed eagerly to the sign. "It's about a five minute hike the rest of the way up, but I hear it's really beautiful. Actually, it's like ' _a plethora of nature's breathtaking bounty, where the sky gently kisses the horizon._ ' At least, that was the exact the wording on the brochure… and brochures never lie!"

"God, they actually paid someone to come up with that crap?" retorted Irvine. "I mean what's wrong with _'It's high enough for your ears to pop and your nose to bleed.'_ That's at least the truth, damn it."

"It's safe right?" Rinoa asked softly finally speaking since leaving the hotel.

"Oh yeah, totally Rin. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't. This place has a 100% safety record!"

"Uh huh…" she answered not at ease by Selphie's obvious enthusiasm.

As they started up the path she felt Squall reach for her hand. He interlocked their fingers as they hiked along the worn dirt trail. He didn't say anything to her, just reassured her with his presence. Selphie and Irvine walked ahead, or rather, Squall and Rinoa seemed to lag behind. Squall looked around, it really was beautiful. He had never been to this part of Dollet, only the plateaus where the Anacondaurs made their nests. Off in the distance, behind some trees, he could see a tall chain link fence that was used to keep larger game out of the area. For the most part this area was safe, but it was always good to have precautions against unwanted monsters.

They walked hand in hand until they passed a small brook. There was a wooden planked bridge along the path. As they walked over it, Squall stopped gently pulling Rinoa next to him. Placing both arms around her, he brought her into a loose embrace.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want," he said softly placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I do…" she began hesitantly, "it's just…"

She didn't finish her sentence shaking her head. What was it _just_? She didn't even know how to describe it…besides immobilizing fear. Leaning into him, she tried to hide the fact that her body was trembling. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he rested his head on hers.

"I'll be right here, no matter what you decide. Okay?"

She nodded and pulled away. Honestly she didn't want to get too far behind the other couple. She hated times like this when she felt like such an outsider. They had their SeeD training and she had 'amateur' resistance fraction – two totally different things. Garden could take on the world and she could barely take on her father. She had found the strength before, and she would damn well find it again. She wasn't alone and that was a huge factor.

"Come on," she said reaching for his hand and taking the lead. "I can't believe Selphie said it was five minutes. It's been at least twenty. Let's see if we ever can find the top of this mountain."

* * *

The quartet sat outside a small wooden shack filling out forms. Rinoa tried to ignore what she was signing, there was nothing good in reading all the things the bungee company was not responsible for…really, there wasn't. Her mouth was completely dry by the time she made it to the last page of the wavier. Her fingers shook so hard, her signature was nearly illegible. Everyone else had finished a long time ago, she doubt they read a single word. She hadn't really either; well, beside the opening paragraph of all the wonderful benefits of this life changing experience. Yeah right, life _changing_ as in life _ending_ – but that would be a horrible tagline for their business.

A member from the jump crew walked over to the group rubbing his hands together.

"Okay, just a quick rundown before we harness you lucky jumpers up. You're going to be experiencing one of the best bungee locations in the entire world. You'll have 8.5 second of free fall so take it all in, the only thing better is jumping out of a plane."

"Oooh, that sounds fun too!" Selphie chirped in excitement. "Can we do that next?"

"Shhh," Irvine hushed his girlfriend who placed her hand over her mouth realizing she interrupted. It was so hard not to say something, this was just so invigorating.

The man continued, "Um yeah, anyway… I do want to warn you, I see the lot of you are wanting to do this as couples. I wanted to let you know that is slightly more dangerous. Jumping in tandem runs the risk of hitting your heads together. It can be a painful experience, so I wanted to give you the heads up."

"Hehe," Selphie laughed, "Heads up! Good one." Irvine glanced at her and shook his head. "Oh oops, sorry again."

"We're going together," Squall answered without having to look at Rinoa.

Raising her hand like she was back in class, Selphie answered for the other couple, "Us too!"

"All right then. I can take the first couple," the instructor said before then adding, "I bet I don't even have to ask who is going first."

A few minutes later, Rinoa sat at the table waiting as Selphie and Irvine had already headed toward the bridge. She would find the strength to go over and watch them when it was time. Of course, that meant actually having to walk on the old steel bridge to get the platform. Still, maybe by watching her friends and seeing the fun that they were having, she could get over this.

"Hey," Squall said sitting down next to her. He had been inside the building for a quick break.

"Hey back," she responded without turning.

"Look what we get for free with the jump."

She glanced upward seeing two blue folded t-shirts in his hand. He undid one, holding the front side up for her to see.

" _I jumped at Behemoth Bungee and all I got was this lousy t-shirt…"_ She read rolling her eyes. "Seriously, they put that on the shirt? What is it with these people?"

"That's not all," he said with a small smile. He flipped it over and read the back of the shirt aloud, actually attempting to be somewhat enthusiastic. His voice was raised and slightly rushed, "And the most _amazingly awesome_ time ever!"

"Were you just trying to imitate Selphie?" she had managed to laugh.

He shrugged. "I have no idea what that was." In truth he didn't, he was just trying to get her to forget about her fears and it just slipped. It seemed to work, however, she was laughing which in turn made him happy.

She had never heard him try to emulate another personality and it was absolutely adorable. Okay, he wouldn't say that, but she darn well did. Plus she knew he never did anything like that. Ever. She must have really been in bad shape if he was trying to cheer her up.

"Squall, did anybody ever tell you that you're _amazingly awesome?"_

"No," he replied now back in his normal tone. It instantly made him feel uncomfortable. He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way. A second ago, he was the one trying to bring a smile to her face, now he was the one retreating. The fact that the comment was directed toward him made the difference. Nobody in his life had ever thought of him as amazing or awesome, maybe his gunblade skills, but not truly him as a person.

"Stop it." Rinoa shook her head; she knew what he was doing. "You know, just deal with the fact that I think you're _amazingly awesome_ , because I do. Don't try to make sense out of it, just go with that fact, okay?"

She paused looking down at her copy of the jump contract, pushing the pen back and forth as some sort of detraction. Neither of them spoke for a short period. Finally, she sighed while now pushing the end of the pen forcefully, making it spin in place.

"Squall," she began with hesitation. "You want to do this, right?"

"I'm not doing anything you're not comfortable with."

She inwardly laughed; this was almost the complete reverse from last night. She was the one with doubts and he was the one pacifying the situation. Still one thing was different, he didn't ask her last night about her feelings. He never asked what she would have done – would she have shared a room if given the chance? However, she had to be a little more direct than he was, though in her heart, she already knew.

"Squall, you know I'm going to make you answer my question. I asked if _you_ wanted to do this, not what I wanted."

He scratched the back of his neck looking in the direction of the bluff. Rinoa had still been scrutinizing the piece of paper before her, he wondered if she was actually reading the fine print. She didn't seem the type, that was him, but given the circumstance and her doubt, this may be the one time she'd be meticulous.

"Rinoa, you know, this is the kind of thing I've trained for…obviously not this particular thing, but things dealing with heights and even the rock climbing. It's rather an acquired sensation. When I was younger this stuff quite frankly scared the shit out of me, after while, I enjoyed the exhilaration."

"You remember being afraid?" she asked softly looking up at him.

He could tell by her voice that she had turned his direction. He hadn't thought about that aspect of his response, he was only trying to find a way to carefully word his feelings. There was no way he wanted to come right out and say that he was looking forward to this - given her concerns. Still, in his line of work, fear was actually a good thing – if you weren't fearful it often lead to carelessness.

"Rin, to mean you're afraid means you're alive. Of course I was afraid, I was scared as hell during Ultimecia, but I couldn't show it. It's a matter of dealing with the fears and making them work in your favor."

"You really are amazingly awesome," she said leaning forward to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He didn't protest. He even reciprocated briefly, before pulling away.

"You are too," he responded. Standing up, he offered his hand to her. "Now let's head out to that bridge and watch Selphie and Irvine. Maybe they'll be the first couple in bungee history to argue all the way down."

"You're terrible!" She laughed tugging on his hand and then quickly added. "But right."

They walked to where Selphie and Irvine were harnessed face-to-face on a platform. Sorceress and knight remained next to one another as Rinoa offered her friend a tiny smile. However, the harnessed duo didn't seem to notice the other couple, they had other things on their mind.

"Told you that I'd get you into bondage yet," Irvine announced loudly, even in front of the two jump crew members.

"Oh dear god," Rinoa moaned leaning her head onto Squall's chest.

"Well, you know, we do offer weekends that are exclusively for those that want to bungee naked, plus there's no cost to nude jumpers either." One of the crew members announced, unfazed by the sharpshooter's comments.

"Could I at least wear my cowboy hat?" Irvine winked as Selphie groaned in annoyance.

"No, no, no…make it end," Rinoa said into her boyfriend's shoulder. "The visuals are killing me."

Great, well that answered his earlier question – yes, Rinoa did visualize things. That somehow was extremely disturbing in its own right.

"How are you guys getting back up to the bridge?" Squall asked hoping to divert the topic. "I saw two options on the form."

"We're going to be using their pulley system instead of the lowering onto the boat thingy. We want to be up here to see you guys go," Selphie explained. "This is so exciting. I'm so freaked out right now!"

Rinoa thought she certainly didn't seem freaked out, she seemed smiling and happy. Then again, they were two entirely different people and dealt with fear in the own ways, much as Squall had said earlier.

"You two are cleared, you have the go anytime." The crew member raised his hand gesturing to a man below who was waiting on a boat. He nodded below explaining, "As a safety protocol we have a medically trained member at the bottom, plus you get a video to take home."

"Oooh a video!" Irvine winked. "We'll add that to the collection."

"Shut up," snapped Selphie. "That's it, we're jumping."

The duo looked down at the gorge below, lacing their heads close together as instructed. They tightly hugged before shuffling to the edge and taking that last fatal step. Both screamed at the sensation of falling into nothingness…technically maybe not nothingness, rather a rock-strewn, rapid filled river. After the jump, they ended up spiraling for several more rebounds and thoroughly enjoyed every second of the process.

After they finally managed to come to a stop, they dangled like a yo-yo on a string. Irvine and Selphie went from frantically screaming to laughing hysterically and when they rested upside down they found a way to share a kiss.

"That was incredible! I so want to do that again, and again, and again!" Selphie announced vigorously.

"It was incredible, wasn't it?"

"Hey what was with all that crap up there? I mean, I know you're deranged and all, but that seemed a little overboard even for you," she questioned tethered by her ankles.

"Actually, it was for Rinoa, if that helps."

"Yeah… you're doing it wrong. I don't think any of that helps Rinoa… or Squall for that matter. They're not exactly us you know."

"I know that, Selph. I mean she's scared to death to jump. If for a few minutes I could get her thinking about something else and make her laugh, so be it."

"So your version of making Rinoa laugh is picturing you bungee jumping naked?" she asked mockingly.

"Hey, whatever I can do for a maiden in distress."

"You're such a fine example of a gentleman…But thank you, your heart is the right place just your execution is a little off. I know she's terrified and you're trying to make her feel better. That's my Irvine," she smiled still dangling by her feet. "I hope she goes through with it."

"Squall's with her. She can do anything with him, she just has to realize it."

"I think I'm going to just take that at face value."

"Hey, darlin' I mean it." He held her closer as they began their accent. "You know I love you right?"

"Yeah, I do. You can drive me crazy, but that's why I love you too."

* * *

Rinoa and Squall stood in the background as the team began to pull Selphie and Irvine up to the platform. Sorceress leaned against knight, while he leaned against the bolted railing. She had not even thought about her actions, or the fact that he hadn't refused even in a semi-public setting. She had sought comfort from the closeness and he had found comfort that he could offer himself in this way.

He reached down loosely placing a hand around her waist. Leaning in, he tickled her ear with his soft voice, "Think of it this way, you have wings right? You can fly."

"Ha…" she quietly laughed from the tingling sensation within her ear. "I hovered, _hovered_ , maybe eight feet off the ground, if that. Even that was high enough when you have no control over your own actions."

"We're working on the control, remember? This time you have a knight and some discipline. Think of our training."

"Squall, it's just I've never felt so out of place in my life…" She turned her head to look in the eyes even as his hand remained on her hip. To an outsider their positions would appear intimate on an emotional level. However, neither of them seemed to notice. She had held it in long enough, now it was time to confess her fears to her knight.

"I'm scared. I really am and I don't want to be. I don't do stuff like this for recreation. I mean, I _had_ to do things like this when we were fighting Ultimecia, I had no choice. This is a choice. I'm just not like you guys. Like I said, it just feels somehow that I don't belong."

"Rin, don't you think I feel out of place all the time?" He never broke his gaze, staring intently into her eyes. He felt it was the time to confess some of his doubts. "Tonight, Selphie mentioned a club. I mean to you that's probably something of a norm living in Deling. Me? No, that idea terrifies me, but I'm going to do it. When I said I'd come this weekend I knew what I was signing on for, even the social aspect."

"This whole thing isn't easy for you, is it?"

"No, it's really not Rinoa. These are my friends and I care for them, I just… well the thing is they're a couple, we're a couple. I've never done this sort of interaction in my life. To me, this whole weekend is the equivalent of jumping off a bridge."

"You're right."

"Okay next couple, we're ready to gear up!" A man yelled from near the platform.

"Ready to go earn that shirt?" Rinoa asked trying to put her fears into perspective.

"Yes." He reached out his hand interlocking their fingers once again.

They walked over to where the man stood with equipment in hand. "Okay then, let's get started. I'm going to be tying the bungee line to your ankles. The line around your waist will be for retrieval, nothing else."

Rinoa despised hearing the word 'retrieval.' She now felt like a stick they were going to toss over the edge and then fetch. She pretty much zoned out most everything else as two employees bound them together. She loved being this close to Squall - that was not the problem. The problem was with the huge amount of air between her and the ravine below. It wasn't natural to jump off a bridge, no matter how many times these people said it was.

"Oh my god!" She heard Selphie's voice now back on the bridge. "That was so… _amazingly awesome_ , you two are going to love it!"

It was one of those moments she was glad for, when both her and Squall found a mutual reason to laugh without explanation. It honestly felt like such a simplistic 'couple' thing, where both understood the nature of the humor without having to say the joke out loud. She could feel Squall's arms wrap tighter around her as they stood being physically bound by two strangers.

It didn't take long before they had been helped to the platform. She hadn't even realized how she got here; it was rather a large horrific blur in her mind. Now she stood at the edge of sanity facing her fears head on.

On the other hand, over the last few minutes Squall had felt his heart rate increase tenfold. He loved this feeling. There was something so freeing about just letting go (in this aspect). He honestly couldn't believe how much he was looking forward to the rush and to share it with her would be exhilarating. Of course he understood her doubts, but he so desperately wanted this to be a shared experience. So much of his life was private; he wanted to open himself up to her in this way. He could never explain those emotions, it really couldn't be spoken, it was only felt.

"Okay, you got clearance," a man from the jump crew announced. "Three, two, one – bungee!"

Silence.

There was no movement from her. Nothing. He wasn't going to force her. She hadn't even managed a single word since they made their way to the platform. It was real now…all too real.

"Rin, it's a leap of faith… Trust me," Squall whispered, his voice easing of assurance.

Her eyes looked down at the ravine and she felt so small and insignificant. It couldn't be that far down, it had to be some sort of sick optical illusion. Her body trembled in utter fear. This was idiotic. This was not entertainment; this was a masochistic indulgence that crossed the line of sanity. No person in their right mind would hang upside down on an amped up rubber band on steroids. She managed to peel her eyes away from the rocks below, the very sharp and deadly rocks, and turned to her boyfriend.

"Squall, I trust you… but I also trust physics and gravity... and right now they have the edge."

She knew that he would be disappointed. Hell, she was disappointed in herself. Her uncertainty was evident, even in her stuttered and broken speech.

"Rin, we don't have to do this. I would never make you do something that you're uncomfortable with, you know that."

"I know," she nodded now breaking her stillness and glanced back at her friends.

Selphie and Irvine seemed so thrilled by the experience. Part of her envied that her friends had done this together, showing little doubt. The last thing she wanted to do was back out. Nobody would care, but _she_ would. She had spent so much time trying to prove that she could handle her own in battle. And no, this was not a test of SeeD skill or bravery, but it was still a test – a test of one's self and pushing one's self to the limits.

Rinoa was going to have to jump…not for Squall, but for herself. Still, it didn't make the reality of the situation any less terrifying. It defied logic and reason, and therein laid the beauty.

"Selphie, if I get out of this alive… I will never speak to you again," Rinoa mumbled looking forward again to the horizon. She wasn't mad at her friend, just angry at herself for stalling even longer.

"I figured, but it's so worth it! **Trust me** , it's great!" Selphie laughed at the empty 'threat.' She knew Rinoa would never follow through...well, hopefully.

"Again with the trust issue… This is _not_ about trust. It's about sanity…and right now you've all lost it."

"It's okay. Seriously Rinoa, we don't have to do this," Squall stated again in an amazingly calming voice.

"No, no…. I'm going to do this. Just give me another minute…or twenty," she stated looking into the eyes of her boyfriend, before adding, "If I don't jump, I will forever be known as the _new_ Chicken-Wuss."

Maybe humor could get her though, apparently nothing else was working.

"Well then we just start calling Zell Rooster-Wuss, right?" Irvine interjected jokingly. "See then everyone is happy. I mean, technically that _is_ what Zell should be anyhow."

"You're not really helping," Squall stated flatly giving him a friendly warning.

"I could push you. Would that help?" Selphie stated with a huge grin.

"Everybody's gone mad. Seriously," quipped Rinoa. She could feel her heart beating madly throughout her chest cavity. If she didn't jump soon, these people were going to drive her insane. Then again, maybe that was their master plan.

Squall held her hand, offering a reassuring squeeze. There was so much he wanted to say to her: for her not to be afraid, that he would never let anything bad happen to her, and that he'd protect her, even from her own fears. He just wished that he could offer the emotional encouragement that she so often gave him.

"Rinoa, listen… I understand how you feel. You don't have to do this to prove anything to me, to yourself, or to anybody. I'm with you either way, every step of the way. I'm not leaving your side. If you don't go, I don't go. We're in this together. I wouldn't want to do this any other way."

"And that's why I love you," she whispered sincerely.

She had listened has his words consoled her, and took a deep breath. Trust. Fear. Independence. It was all contained with a single action. So she let go. She let go of her fears and doubts and put all her trust with fate and the solace she felt with her knight. She said once that she felt like she could do anything with him by her side, now it was time to make the figurative literal. She gave a slight nod, she could not speak. It was not possible to even make a sound… but he knew.

And they jumped.


	8. Random Thoughts

_ July 12 _ _ th _ _ 2:55 p.m _

Rinoa stared at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't believe what she had done a just a few short hours before. With a single, and _incredibly_ insane, action she had come face to face with one of her deepest fears. She couldn't believe the person she was becoming. Truthfully…she liked it. She loved the freedom and this newfound sense of independence. It was the transformation of becoming her own person, breaking the stigma and labels that she had lived with for so many years.

She would have managed a small smile had there not been such lingering fear residing inside. Honestly, just standing upright unaided was quite the impressive feat in her book. Apparently, she needed to take this new persona thing one small step at a time, or in this particular case, one small leap off a large bridge, at a time. Although she was glad that she had followed through with the jump, it was great to be back on solid ground. Well, more precisely, it was the third floor of a hotel, but that was just semantics.

The fact remained that she _had_ jumped and nobody could ever take that achievement away. Ever.

After the initial leap, Rinoa had remained completely silent, even while dangling ungracefully in mid-air. It was probably a good fifteen minutes into their drive back that she finally managed her first coherent words. Thankfully, Squall was extremely understanding of her lack of verbal communication. Then again, that was kind of his forte for most of his teenage years.

One of the most telling aspects of the day… there was simply no need for words afterwards. Squall seemed to instinctively know how to respond, both being proactive and comforting with his actions. Even Selphie and Irvine had been extremely patient with her silence, while remaining proud of her accomplishment. They knew how much courage it took for Rinoa to go through with the bungee jump, they would never deny her sheer determination.

Trekking back down the mountain, the group decided it would be best to grab a quick meal on the go. Collectively, nobody had been that hungry and all wanted to save their appetites for later. Rinoa doubted she could even keep anything down, but thankfully Squall had ordered her a cola to drink. It at least helped settle her stomach, although just slightly. It was yet another small gesture that didn't go unnoticed by her…she just didn't have the strength to voice her appreciation.

After the drive-thru, they headed back to the hotel to change and regroup. The commander was especially glad about the 'changing' part, as two of his comrades had decided to do the unthinkable… Both Selphie and Irvine proudly donned their matching 'Behemoth Bungee t-shirts' immediately after the jump, bad slogans and all.

Not surprisingly, Squall had decided against wearing his, it was never even a thought he entertained. Rinoa didn't know if she'd even be capable of lifting her arms over her head, so changing her t-shirt was moot at that point. Truthfully, neither sorceress nor knight were into the 'matching outfit' type of relationship, as somehow, that loudly screamed something uniquely Selphie…and a semi-reluctant Irvine.

* * *

It was mid afternoon and Selphie suggested going to the shopping district. The guys both reacted just as enthusiastically as expected, while Rinoa actually liked the idea – shopping at least wasn't done upside above a rocky gorge. Any ideas of protest would have been quickly vetoed by Selphie, as again, she claimed the all-encompassing rights and supreme reign over her 'birthday weekend.' It was an excuse that could never be trumped, at least in her world. Irvine wanted to point out that her birthday _technically_ wasn't for another four days, but that type of logical reasoning would be blatantly ignored. He'd be hearing about this for the next week, might as well just bite the bullet…and go shopping.

The quartet made their way down the streets. Selphie and Rinoa led, while the two guys trailed idly behind. The girls seemed to gain just enough ground to look in a window of shop, make an immediate judgment based on window dressings, and decide whether to go in or pass it up for the next possible target. This area of town was not the high-end retail; many were specialty type shops, as the more exclusive district was closer to the beach.

A particularly colorful shop grabbed Selphie's attention, and even though it was on the other side of the street, it was a place that she was drawn to like Zell to a hotdog vendor. The storefront was a rainbow of varying and clashing colors; this may have had a _little_ to do with her fascination.

Selphie crossed the street first, Rinoa only a few steps behind. Neither Squall nor Irvine showed any sign of hustle, whatever furry or fluffy stuffed Chocobo in the window would still be there in ten seconds. Selphie didn't even need to be asked if she wanted to go in. This place seemed to be an emporium of the strange, unique, and downright…magenta. Before walking through the door, a professionally printed sign caught the birthday girl's attention.

It simply read: _free ear piercing with purchase of starter set._

In all of Selphie's years and exuberance for shopping, she had never found the time for such a simple task. Back in Trabia, there was no official place to have it done, beside those who trusted their friends with sterilized needles and ice packs. She might have been free spirited, but somehow, Selphie felt that some things should be left to a professional….or a part-time teenage student working to pay their way to the spring formal, but at least they had control of the cool ear-piercing gun.

Now her days of having naked ears would be behind her, as in front of her was a store carrying a plethora of earrings. The offer was just too tempting to pass up. Selphie quite simply couldn't resist the chance to enhance her already vibrant wardrobe…

"Let's get our ears pierced!" she shrieked enthusiastically.

Rinoa, on the other hand, thought the idea was meant on some sliding scale of humor that eluded her.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm serious! It makes perfect sense, and then we could trade earrings when we feel like it." That argument didn't seem to be winning her friend over, so she would try another approach. "I mean, think about it Rinoa…just about every guy I know has done it, both our boyfriends included, yet we don't? I think it's time we equal out the playing field in earring wearing category."

"Selphie, first, I doubt there is a 'playing field' when it comes to wearing earrings… slightly a strange mental image, I must admit. Second, there is a reason I never did it – adding more holes to my head doesn't sound like fun or the fashion statement I'm going for... Thirdly, um…"

"Thirdly, you're being a chicken-wuss again?" Irvine added to the conversation as the two guys had now caught up. His comment wasn't much appreciated, but at least it was to the point.

"No!" Rinoa countered agitated, she had already had this argument today "I jumped off a bridge earlier. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Not really, you're only judged in the present. And presently… you're being a chicken-" Irvine started to rebuke jokingly.

"Don't even finish that statement," Rinoa growled defeated. "I'll do it, I'll do it."

"You're not saying that just because of us are you?" Selphie asked with concern. Even though they were joking, they would never force their friend into something. Sure, they could play around, but the decision was entirely up to Rinoa. "Do you really want to do it?"

"Yes…no…" Rinoa exhaled calming herself. "I mean, I've always wanted to have them pierced, but I've always seemed to have bigger problems on the horizon… I guess today seems as good as any to take the leap… figuring I've already taken a leap over a ravine..."

"Tee-hee! It's gonna be great," Selphie exclaimed emphatically.

"Would it be all right if I sat this one out?"

The group turned to Squall, who had been his usual quiet self during the exchange. "I mean if that's all right with you Rinoa."

"Sure," she answered with a smile.

She couldn't imagine Squall Leonhart even walking into a store like this anyhow; the entire atmosphere would clash with his entire persona. She knew he'd be there if she really needed the support, but this was far from the events of earlier today.

"Thanks," he nodded in appreciation.

In the next few minutes, the commander ended up separating from the group. He knew Rinoa was in no immediate danger, unless he included the constant bantering of Selphie and Irvine. He had faith that Rinoa would survive this without the aid of her knight. Honestly, as much as he had enjoyed this weekend, he just needed this time to himself. Enjoyed? He would have to contemplate his wording later, that epiphany was a little overwhelming at the moment.

* * *

"Can someone please explain the logic behind this? I mean, how did a weekend away turn into a weekend to torture Rinoa?"

"It was in a memo, as torturing Squall has lost some of its charm," chirped Selphie holding the display in her hands. There had to be twenty sets of earring studs on the board; she couldn't narrow it down to just one selection.

"You're fresh road kill…" Grinned Irvine. "I mean, isn't it fun to experience new and exciting things, Rin?"

"Yeah… thanks, Irvine," she replied sarcastically looking around the store. "And where's my knight in shining armor in my time of need? Probably sitting down by the beach sipping cappuccino. Seriously, somebody dropped the ball and forgot to forward him the other memo. You know, the one that stated torturing me was to be avoided this weekend."

Rinoa wasn't really serious concerning Squall's whereabouts. She knew he needed his space. He had already been so wonderful today; there were just no words to describe the support he provided and the way he silently eased her fears. Right now, it was easier to keep her mind occupied with random thoughts, then to think about the needle that soon would be piercing through her skin. To an outsider, her fears may have appeared humorous, especially after what she had already accomplished today.

"Rule of thumb," Irvine said, explaining Squall's disappearing act in his own unique terms. The cowboy pointed to the store's ornate décor. "Most guys avidly spend their lives trying to avoid places that have a combination of purses on the wall, stuffed purple kittens on the shelves, and hundreds of stickers in a rack stating how much 'girls rule.' It's kinda of a masculinity thing."

"Somehow, I think there's an insult in there about you being in here and not being masculine and all," Selphie joked to her boyfriend still holding the display, "but I'm too busy to even try to come up with one. Look at these choices! Picking a starter set is almost like a lifelong commitment after all."

"Selphie, it's not a lifelong commitment. They just need to be in for six weeks," Rinoa stated to her friend.

"Yes, but six weeks is a lifetime for some things…like the ambrosia beetle."

"Why would you even know that?" questioned Rinoa. Seriously, in what universe did Selphie know the lifespan of beetles…and what the hell was an ambrosia beetle in the first place? Sometimes, there were answers best left unknown; this would be one of those cases. However, Rinoa did have one remaining questioned at hand. "So Irvine, if you guys want to avoid this place really… why are you still here?"

Selphie leaned over whispering, "Because there is also the Selphie rule of the thumb: if his eyes stray he _pays._ Since we have the hotel room one more night, he isn't taking the chance."

Irvine unenthusiastically gave her the thumbs up, while his face betrayed no emotion. He then reached over grabbing a bumper sticker reading the slogan verbatim, " _Worship me like the Goddess I am."_

Both Selphie and Rinoa rolled their eyes, shaking off his remark. When he didn't get the desired reaction, he picked up another one reading it out loud. " _Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?_ "

"That's better," Selphie warned, before turning back to her friend. Now that Irvine had received the message, they could get back down to business.

"So Rin, did you make your decision yet? I'm going with the small emeralds… I mean, I know, I should go with the ruby ones, with that being my birthstone… _but_ the green goes so much better with my eyes and seventy percent of my wardrobe! Again, I have to wear these things for six weeks. I've got to keep the important things in mind."

For her part, Rinoa just wanted to go with something simple. She wasn't going to make this into something epic like the Carbuncle versus Squall debacles of the past.

"I'm just going with the small gold balls."

"I-" Irvine began eagerly, but was cut off by an irate girlfriend.

"Don't even _think_ about finishing that sentence… go back to reading your bumper stickers!"

"Fine…" Irvine sighed in defeat. He was actually having a good time, though he would deny it to the bitter end. "Here how about this one: _the more I know about men, the more I like my cat_."

"I'm getting a cat," Selphie said not-so-under-her breath.

Finally the mood was broken when the clerk arrived on the scene. "Have you two decided on your starter sets yet?"

"Yes we have. I'm gonna get the emeralds and she's going with the small gold balls." Selphie ignored the snickering coming from the sticker rack.

* * *

It hadn't been that long since he had been in Dollet, but it been forever since he had found himself alone. It was nice just to be able to take a casual stroll along the cobblestone streets. The temperature was rather mild, given that it was the dead of summer. Just like as in Balamb, the ocean offered a welcome breeze. Even though they were both harbor towns, their personalities and atmospheres couldn't have been more opposite.

A random thought crossed his mind as he walked along the boardwalk. In a way, he felt as if his personality reflected Balamb, while Rinoa was more in line with Dollet. Balamb was a laid back town, but always with a sense of purpose. Most of the economy was based off of fishing and the men and women were dedicated to that purpose. Dollet, while still a port town, had a mixture of fine art, shopping, and their own economic structure. It was lively and distinct, just like Rinoa – compared to his Balamb.

Still, the two places had their similarities; some were not as obvious as others. But above all, both were linked by a special bond (just as sorceress and knight) and both towns were connected by the ocean. It was a strange comparison in his mind, but it made him stop and appreciate his surroundings.

This time alone turned out to be refreshing, although he was learning to enjoy company; it was sometimes just good to take a break. He didn't get this chance at solitude walking the streets of Balamb, students and local residents would usually make him feel as if every move he made was under a microscope. Apparently, his reputation hadn't preceded him on the streets of Dollet, he was thankful.

He looked at his watch; he still had a little time left. Before he walked to the end of the pier, he purchased a small hazelnut latte from a local vender. If he really tried, he couldn't even recall an instance of being by himself in a public place. This morning at the hotel sadly came the closest, and there he was focusing on work. There was no hoopla or homage; there was just a sense of normalcy he had long forgotten.

Making to the end of the pier, he leaned against a railing and watched the boats as they passed by the breakwater. He momentarily felt a pang of guilt, maybe he should have stayed with Rinoa, but he knew she would be fine. Honestly, Selphie was probably a much better motivational coach than he could be in that given situation; the enthusiastic girl most likely had a jaunty tune that covered the excitement of ear piercing. Of course, Irvine would also be there offering his support; Selphie would probably make him tap dancing during the chorus.

Squall really didn't understand the dynamic of that relationship, but in some aspects, he envied it. His opinions might not have been the norm, but not understanding and not appreciating were two separate entities. Even during this weekend he began to see how well they fit together, more so than he had ever noticed before. It could just become a little overwhelming at times.

This was why he was glad for the small reprieve, although staring off into the harbor made him start thinking about the future. In just over a month, he would turn nineteen. At times, it seemed as if his entire life was mapped out for him. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned the true meaning of freedom. Wondering how much control he had left in his destiny, weighed far too heavy on his mind at times.

…And then there were times like today, ones he could just jump off a bridge and try to push all his cares from this world. This was nice; he had to admit.

There were some freedoms this weekend he had never experienced in all his years. There were also some freedoms he _wanted_ to experience, but the uncertainty was holding him back. He wondered how Rinoa felt. He never did ask her. She would always say how she understood and never push him, but he also noticed she never would directly answer his question. Last night turned out well enough; there was no big concern about separate rooms… again, except _his_.

In his mind, it had almost boiled down to a morality issue. Not necessarily the morals of society regarding teenager promiscuity, but ones he created in his mind. His concerns were not the principles of a man, rather they were the morals of someone in command - someone designated as a knight. It bothered him if he stopped to think about it. How he could commit fully to her as a guardian of her spirit, but commit fully to her as a boyfriend?

Honestly, it just wasn't about the physical relationships, though he couldn't deny the idea of sex had never crossed his mind. It had…it _really_ had. But it was also this emotional barrier he couldn't seem to overcome. The one where she would say 'I love you' and he would feel a combination of excitement and insecurity. It was that barrier where he just couldn't say those words back to her.

Maybe as great as today had been, this is why he was standing here now. Earlier, she could literally let go of her fear and place all her trust in him, but he was still unable to do the same. Those were two different scenarios, much like the cities of Balamb and Dollet, but someday he really wanted to find that commonality, much as the ocean had bonded those two towns.

He needed to move forward from here. Maybe the first sign of hope in his uncertainty was that wanted to head back to join his friends. Normally, if at Garden, he would take this chance to retreat back into either himself or his work. Right now, he really didn't want to be by himself any longer. It was a step, a small one, but one he could accept as positive.

* * *

Somehow, he never thought that rows and rows of bumper stickers would provide worthwhile entertainment, but he was quickly proven wrong. Irvine now had a small collection growing in his hands; he wanted to bring his friends a lovely memento of the trip. What says 'love' more than bumper stickers?

"Okay, so far I have this one for Zell: _Ham & Eggs – a day's work for a chicken, a lifelong commitment for a pig_. For Quistis, I was going with the Trepie appropriate: _Are those your eyeballs. I found them in my cleavage_. This just leaves Squall…"

After a few more seconds of searching he found it, the holy grail of bumper stickers.

"Look guys, I finally found it," Irvine said triumphantly, still examining the display rack, "this one is beyond perfect!"

He held up a bumper sticker that had the boldly printed phrase: _"Whatever."_

Rinoa found herself unable to control the laugh she accidentally snorted out. She was glad Squall hadn't heard that, not quite lady like in any sense of the word. A sticker with just a single word had had been a moment of humor for all of them. She was glad to have friends to share these little inside jokes with, although she doubted Squall would see the humor, or if he did, he would deny it and just act irritated.

Her momentary snorting fit quickly subsided as the clerk neared. Selphie had gone first, having no qualms about it. The other girl was currently picking out a year's stock of earrings. The sorceress tried to concentrate on anything right now. She saw a digital clock behind the counter and focused all her attention on the red numbers. Wincing, she could feel the woman placing dots on each ear lobe. There was something to be said about ample personal space with strangers, and this woman had quickly breached it. Now instead of the red numbers on the clock, she quickly had to avert her eyes from looking at the cleavage of a stranger. Though she knew it was the lady's job, couldn't she possibly have avoided the low cut shirt? Then again, maybe this answered the question as to why most of the guys she knew had pierced ears….

The clerk handed her a mirror, asking her to check the two black dots on her ears. Rinoa couldn't tell. It looked fine to her, wasn't _low-top-lady_ supposed to be the expert? Still, she politely nodded her approval without saying anything.

"Kay sweetie, there'll just a quick sting. The sound is much worse than the pain."

Rinoa could barely fathom the combination of 'sound and pain' when she heard a loud noise resonating in her ear. She jumped slightly, not really prepared for the woman to be that quick on the trigger. At least, it was half over…she really didn't feel much pain; it really was the sound that was menacing. In another twenty seconds it was over and she let out a sigh of relief. She was glad she had gone through with it, but one thing was for certain…next time she ever went anywhere with anyone again, there was going to be a major memo involved.

* * *

_ July 12 _ _ th _ _ 7:21 p.m _

"Interesting day, huh?" Rinoa bit her lip nervously. She then glanced at her boyfriend before returning her attention toward her remaining mashed potatoes.

"Yeah…" Squall answered. The awkward silence started again.

They sat beside one another, each lost in their own thoughts. It was one of those oversized semi-circular booths that allowed the patrons some level of privacy. The dinner club Selphie picked had been about as accommodating as any place possible. The food was incredible, the service impeccable, and the atmosphere suited everyone to a tee. It was also a place where one could get away with casual dress, so that alone was a huge selling point to both Irvine and Squall.

The cuisine, itself, was nothing short of amazing. However, Selphie left out the minor detail - that the new head chef at Balamb Garden, Carl, had insisted upon them going here. She figured that fact would just lead to an unneeded argument. Irvine (and a good portion of Garden's male population) still harbored resentment toward the man. Strangely, none of the girls could fathom the dislike of the poor chef, as he always seemed so friendly and hospitable.

Irvine and Selphie had already finished their meals and were currently on the dance floor. Out of courtesy, they asked Rinoa and Squall if they would like to join. Everybody knew the answer to that was predetermined, but it was still polite to go through the motion. So now sorceress and knight sat together, both seemed to be concentrating on other things.

"Rin, you know if you want to go out there, it's fine. Don't stay here because of me."

"No, it's really okay…" She smiled looking at her boyfriend. "Did you ever think that it's _because of you_ that I want to stay?"

He ran his hand through his hair nervously, as this was about as good at time as any for his surprise. If he waited any longer, he'd completely chicken out or as in Irvine's previous declarations 'chicken-wussed out.' Earlier, on his way back from the beach, the commander found himself walking by several of Dollet's more upscale merchants. Normally, he wouldn't have even turned his head, but apparently, Selphie and Rinoa's influence was stronger than he knew. From the corner of his eyes, he would glance in the windows of various shops. Unlike them, he didn't feel a need to stop or ogle at the vast amounts of useless merchandise.

One thing though, did catch his eye…

It was now or never, he reached in his pocket producing a small jewelry box. Rinoa had been momentarily distracted watching her friends on the dance floor. Squall wanted to get her attention, but didn't want to draw other's attention by doing so – yet again, another paradox only he could manage. Placing the box on the table, he slid it over to her wordlessly. It was now in front of her, but her eyes were fixated on the flashing strobe lights; again, he didn't know how to get her attention without looking like a total imbecile.

"Here," he said. He thought his attempt was loud enough, but apparently it failed. She hadn't turned to face him. He needed to approach this from another angle.

"Um…here," he said a little louder. Still nothing. Okay, this was cause for drastic measures.

"Happy very belated birthday," he said. It was loud enough to garner her attention and probably that of everybody in the large radius of their booth.

"Wha-?" she turned, looking at him in confusion.

Now that he had her full attention, he suddenly didn't want it. This relationship stuff just was never going to make sense in his mind. Feeling that familiar sense of unease creep up, he tried not to let his demeanor betray him.

"I know I didn't do much for your birthday…so thought that I would-" He stopped, glanced nervously toward the emergency exit. You know, he had done that 'exit thing' once before…then again, after that he just ended up grabbing her off the side of Garden. So in a way, it had come full circle, in a very strange, very unique, and slightly askew way of thinking. At least there were no Galbadian soldiers nearby, hopefully…

"Squall?" She questioned. He was acting very aloof, even for him.

Taking his index finger, he pushed the box closer to her. For the first time, she noticed the foreign object on the table. She questionably glanced between him and the container unsure where to settle her eyes. For that brief second, (and it was oh so brief) she thought it was a ring box, but then the realization, and her stupidity, dawned on her. It was a flatter design and from the boxes she had seen for rings, they were in no way similar. She wondered what his reaction would have been if she had told him that brief and fleeting thought; he'd probably run out of the restaurant in utter terror. She had seen glancing at an emergency exit when they first walked in, and knowing Squall, he had already contemplated that action.

"It's just something small… I didn't really get you anything nice for your birthday."

"You did," she tried to reason. "Squall, you bought me several things. You'll never know how much I love that hairclip. It's beautiful."

"I know, but I just randomly picked things out. I just felt that well…"

"Squall, listen to me." She reached over the table, placing her hand with his. He didn't pull away, and honestly, she couldn't gauge his response. "If you think you needed to get me something else, because of what Irvine did for Selphie… we're not them."

"I know that. I just wanted to get you something."

Rinoa smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. "You know that it's perfectly all right if you just want to get me something for no reason. Not everything in this world has to have reason."

Maybe she hit on what was bothering him now. He wasn't in the habit of buying presents for people, let alone buying something spur of the moment - something without reason. But that was his point; he did have a reason, just one he hadn't understood, because he _simply wanted to._

This time he was the one to give her hand a small squeeze. "All right, how about I was walking by a store and saw something that I wanted to get you?"

She wasn't sure why he stated it as a question, but she left that alone. His uncertainty was rather refreshing, given that today he had been the voice of reason and strength. It was good to know they both had their strengths and weaknesses, they counter-balanced one another. Reaching down, she picked up the small box. She found herself strangely nervous.

It then dawned on her just how much of a momentous occasion this was, no matter what was inside. His history of gift-giving was minute, at best. Beside her birthday presents, the mug from Trabia, the shirt she 'borrowed,' and well...the ring she also technically borrowed, he really hadn't given anything to anybody.

This suddenly put a lot of pressure on her, though she couldn't figure out why.

Nervously, she opened the gift. It was a beautiful pair of aquamarine earrings; she could tell they were expensive, though the price was not an issue with her. At all. It was all the thought behind the act, and right now, the thought was all she cared about.

"They're beautiful… I love them."

"I know aquamarine is your birthstone and you like blue anyhow…. So, yeah... they're earrings."

She couldn't help but giggle at that brilliant statement. She hadn't meant to, but his pointing out the obvious when flustered was something she wouldn't have expected out of him a year ago.

"Yes, they are earrings," she restated with small laugh.

She closed the box, holding it closely to her heart. "You know, it seemed this weekend was all about me trying new things and getting past certain fears. Now, I realize it's about both of us doing that. You just being here with me… I know what it means. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Now," Rinoa said scooting closer, "your turn to get past another fear."

She reached over brushing the hair from his face. It wasn't really bothering her, it just kept her fingers occupied, plus it gave her the excuse to physically make contact. Leaning to him, she gave him a kiss, half wondering if he would reciprocate. He didn't do well at public displays of affection, although they were still somewhat hidden.

To her delight, and slight surprise, he kissed her back. It really was a weekend to try new things.


	9. Remember

-o-o-o-

Two invitations, two recipients,  
two different events, and two different replies  
\- one checked yes, one checked no.

-o-o-o-

_July 14_ _th_ _, 7:30 a.m._

Nida's feet scuffed along the marble floor of the corridor. For someone in his position, why was he forced to do something as trivial as mailroom delivery? Sure, his piloting duties of Garden were of the utmost importance. The problem being, that when Garden was grounded, his status was too.

So, one of his downtime tasks became helping Xu with her daily responsibilities. Sure, that sounded simple enough and it did have its highlights, but it also had one very large _'low-light'_ and that was delivering mail.

Every morning, Nida would rise before dawn, press his uniform, dress immaculately, and then hopefully stand out in his own right. Unfortunately, the only person who seemed to notice his efforts was Caleb, the man who had been tasked with guarding the front gates.

Thankfully for Nida, it was Caleb's job to actually suffer through the tediousness of sorting the mail; the man once compared the task to the equivalent of cleaning Grat feces in the Training Center, though Nida would find the latter preferable – he had truly grown to despise all aspects of mail.

Fortunately, Nida was only required to hand-deliver to administration and its support staff. Garden had long realized that as far as students were concerned, it was their responsibility to check daily for mail. It was at least one of the positive things that the Garden Masters of the old regime had implemented. Nida had never been more thankful to those robed dictators of Norg. At least he was spared the menial task of walking down endless corridors, arms filled to the brim with the latest issues of Weapon's Monthly, Occult Times, or for those a little more daring and mature, though maybe not mentally in Nida's opinion, Girl Next Door. That would have just added insult to injury.

Of all the days of the week, he hated Monday's the most. No, it wasn't for the traditional reasons students across the world cursed its deplorable existence, it was based solely on the fact that the first day of the workweek yielded nearly three times the amount of mail. The last week had been even more of an annoyance; the commander was not located in his office, still on some 'farce' of house arrest. He scoffed at the idea that the powers that be would dare punish the beloved commander. Nida knew how this game was played, he had silently watched from the shadows for years.

He had learned to use his obscurity as a strength - people would often forget about him, but he would never forget about people.

Honestly, he didn't mean to sound so bitter. It just seemed that with the hand he was dealt, the cards of life had always been stacked against him. He had graduated in the very same class as Zell, Selphie, and Squall. Yet, if half the general population of Garden heard his name they would wonder if 'Nida' was a male or female. At least when he was piloting, he felt as if he served a purpose – this monotony was just an annoyance.

But he didn't complain. He never complained.

Now, Nida walked wordlessly in the corridor, uniform pressed to perfection. With large white mail tote in hand, he desperately tried to keep a firm grasp on the plastic handles. No one would have ever guessed how heavy it became over time. Again, it was another thing that would go unnoticed by onlookers.

This morning he had opted for Squall's apartment first, as it was the most direct route. Before knocking on the door, Nida shuffled through the rubber-banded stacks, searching for the commander's mail. Thankfully, after little ado he found it near the top. Not too surprisingly there was new issue of Weapon's Monthly anchoring the pile. At least there wasn't an issue Girl Next Door also attached, though Nida highly doubted that the commander would be foolish enough to have it delivered right to his apartment. Squall would be much more discrete than that.

He knocked on the door waiting patiently for the commander to answer. It didn't take long, thankfully. Nida saluted as was his usual custom, although Squall never seemed to acknowledge the gesture any further than a head nod. His superior rarely said anything to him, maybe a scattered thank you – that is, if Squall wasn't too preoccupied with his work or on the phone.

"Your mail, sir."

As Nida put the stack in his hand, an ivory envelope fell from its confines. Immediately, Nida reached down to retrieve it, somehow feeling as if he had failed in some way. He handed it separately to the commander, noticing it was hand addressed; that was something rather rare for their line of work. It didn't look official as much as it did formal, though again, this too was left unsaid. He noticed Squall's face break its normal indifferent look as his eyes scanned the envelope. Whatever the letter was had the commander momentarily at a loss.

"You can go." Squall finally stated, realizing that his subordinate hadn't gone on his way.

"Sir." The pilot once again saluted his superior.

Picking up his mail bin and moving on, he just so badly wanted to give an opinion or two to Squall, but again, he would never endanger his career. He often wondered if the commander realized that they had been on the same training mission in Dollet, had nearly identical course work throughout school, and for the sake of all that's holy, at least Nida had taken his Fire Cave test _two weeks_ before the final. He did not procrastinate, waiting to the last possible moment like some gunblade-wielding cadets…

Didn't Garden even call him out on that?

Nida even swore that he had heard Quistis telling Squall how to use the terminal at his desk right before the exam. Surely, he had to been mistaken… how in the world would a student that had been at Garden since early childhood not know that? Or what GFs were assigned to him? Well, at least the instructor didn't have to tell Squall where the front doors and gate were located, though that would have been pretty much par for the course.

Several hallways and an elevator later, he had finally made it to the third floor. Reaching the main area of the administrative wing, he immediately headed toward the headmaster's office. He saw Rinoa sitting in her chair and leaning against her desk. It appeared that her elbows were supporting her entire weight. Not to mention that she held her obligatory coffee mug firmly in hand. She seemed tired and tried to put up a front, but he could see it in her eyes. Next to her was Selphie, who seemed to be in her own caffeine-coated world, sans the use of actual caffeine. The other SeeD was always so chipper and sweet, seeing her always brightened his day.

As for Rinoa, the great thing about her was that she always initiated conversation. Whether she asked how his weekend went, or just a general 'how you doing' it was always something. Selphie too always had some form of greeting, even if it was just in passing as the crossed in the hall. The 'male saviors' always seemed to be focused on something else, in Nida's opinion – with the commander it was work, with Zell it was martial arts or hot dogs, and with Irvine it was always…well, _Irvine_. One would think that with the rifleman's reputation he would be focused on women. However, every time Nida seemed to see him, he was either primping himself and/or looking at his reflections in a window – sometimes both simultaneously.

Nida rested the bin on the corner of Rinoa's desk, making sure not to bother anything. She never cared, she was the polar opposite of Squall – he still couldn't figure that couple out. If he would have guessed, he would have put her with someone like Zell, more energetic and enthusiastic about life…not some guy who would barely utter two words and who, most likely, didn't even have the physical ability to smile. It was a mystery to him, as it was to much of Garden. Selphie and Irvine he could understand a little more, though just a _little._ He would have rather pictured the female SeeD with someone more like… him.

"Good Morning Nida, another Monday filled with coffee cups and paper cuts," Rinoa piped as he neared.

"What's the good word?" Selphie asked giving her fellow SeeD a loose salute. It was not to be taken as official, more a gesture of greeting.

"Postal strike," he sarcastically replied. "I wish."

"Heh," Rinoa scoffed, "I should go on strike as it should be illegal to have to get up before the sun. Though, I'm pretty sure I'd be marching in a parade of one around here, so that plan would most likely backfire."

"You think?" Selphie giggled. "I have this great mental image of you walking around with a picket sign in one hand, coffee mug in the other, and of course, you forcing Angelo to march along with you, probably wearing some sign with a bad pun around his neck."

"Garden is too _'ruff'_ on its workers." Nida suggested in jest.

"Oooh good one…" Selphie laughed giving him a playful tap on the arm. "What about _Garden has_ _un-fur_ _working conditions_?" Nida momentarily lost all formality, exchanging a high five with his fellow SeeD. He didn't break from protocol often, but it was a nice change and a very welcome break.

Of course, Rinoa didn't find this occasion one to celebrate. "Yeah, great I'm glad you two are bonding over my misery… didn't you get this out of your system this weekend, Selphie? I mean it's just too early for this."

"Don't worry Nida, we know her _bark_ is worse than her _bite_."

"Ha ha, very funny Selphie," Rinoa stated in a dry tone.

"I should get moving," began Nida, as he started sifting through the bin. Somewhere in there Rinoa had her own small bundle. "Unfortunately for me, the mail doesn't deliver itself." He gave them both a genuine smile; somehow around them he didn't feel awkward or his words forced. They knew his name and he appreciated them for it. Finally, he found her stack, which this time had been near the bottom.

"Here you go. I hope your day gets better."

Before Rinoa could firmly grasp the pile, a single letter on top caught Selphie's eye. The young SeeD just couldn't let it rest. It was too good to let slip by. Reaching for the envelope, she couldn't help but read the addressee out loud.

"Rinoa Caraway?" Selphie looked at her friend and then had to repeat it more drawn out and much louder than before. It was Selphie's law after all." _C-a-r-a-w-a-y_?"

Nida quickly took this as a sign to get out of there, trained instinct as a SeeD taught him as much. He did get a quick glance at the envelope and although similar to the commander's, it appeared to be rather different. It didn't look like they were sent from the same place; one was white while the other was more ivory.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Nida offered politely before heading toward the headmaster's door. The women didn't verbally respond, Selphie did put up a hand acknowledging him – it was more like a lazy variation on a wave. Though he understood, it wasn't their normal behavior, especially since Rinoa didn't even look up. Whatever was in that envelope was greatly upsetting her.

For her part, Rinoa didn't even notice Nida leave; she was caught up in all the emotions that came flooding back. She knew who the damned letter was from, as there was only one obvious answer. Only one person would be so obstinate and condescending to address a formal letter with that name – and have the audacity to send it to Garden no less. Just seeing her given name brought an unwarranted bitterness. As much as she tried to move on, somehow, that man always tried to drag her back in.

"This can't be good." Rinoa said under her breath, as she covered her face with her hands. It was Monday morning - _Monday_ morning - and seeing that name right off pretty much set the precedence for the entire day, hell most likely the entire week. She might as well go crawl back into bed and wake up in seven days. It may be the safer of the two options.

"So you're really Rinoa Caraway?" Selphie gasped, wondering how this little minute detail of her friend's life seemed to have slipped through the cracks.

"On paper… I am. Just usually _legal_ paper. I avoid it, when possible. Squall knows, somehow I guess I just forget to mention it to you guys…or you know, I just tried to repress it greatly."

"Wow, I feel so out of the loop, but guess it makes sense and all. Just…weird to see in print and even weirder to say – Rinoa Caraway, Rinoa Cara-"

"Selphie, please…I really don't need to be reminded. I heard it enough growing up. Ugh."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to get you even more irritated. I was just seeing how natural it sounded. It doesn't at all."

"…And thank you for that. I guess the reality is, the legal system never quite caught up to my stubbornness. I may have verbally changed it when I was younger, but some 'people' won't acknowledge _my choice._ Legally, under Galbadian law, I had to either be eighteen or emancipated to formally change it without a guardian, and well, you know how much that request would have gone over."

"So you going to?" Selphie hesitantly asked.

"Going to what – open the envelope or change my name?"

Selphie let out a small laugh. "Well, I _know_ you're going to open the envelope. You're curious as heck. _I_ know this. _You_ know this. So that's a moot point. I was actually talking about the changing your name thing. I mean, you're old enough now and you're on your own. So there's nothing really stopping you."

Rinoa was actually surprised at how little she had thought about it now. A year ago and a half ago, it was all she could think about. She literally counted the days to her eighteenth birthday on a calendar for awhile.

And then…well, life happened.

What seemed important once upon a time, no longer seemed so vital in the bigger picture. Sure 'Caraway' may still be a legal albatross in the back of her mind, but nobody in her life saw her as that person anymore.

Rinoa cast her eyes downward, really contemplating the question for the first time in almost a year. "Selph, you know… I just don't know."

Selphie shrugged in understanding. The most important part of being a friend in her book was listening, and listening didn't always involve the words being spoken.

"Rin, you're different now. It really doesn't matter what your name is on paper, you're Rinoa to us – whether Caraway or Heartilly… you're just you."

Of course, sometimes part of being a friend was also adding that one last comment. You know, that one that would have probably gone best left unsaid. Selphie gave a mischievous smile finally adding, "Then again, it doesn't seem like it would matter much figuring someday you'll change your name to Leonhart."

"Shut up," Rinoa hushed her friend in a whisper, though it came out more a growl. "Don't even go there…"

It was her friend's facial expression that led Selphie to full blown laughter. "I'm sorry Rin you should've seen your face – classic!" She leaned the desk to add, "Tell me you haven't once thought about marrying Squall and I'll take back my comment. Kay?"

"I-I…errr," Rinoa mumbled incoherently trying to save herself from admitting the truth.

Alright, she couldn't deny the thought hadn't entered her mind. She figured that it was a somewhat natural occurrence given their circumstance. Didn't most other normal people think about it too? Of course, she really never had other friends her age to discuss things like this in-depth. It wasn't part of her daily routine as a Forest Owl to talk about her 'dream wedding' with Zone and Watts. That would have been – awkward. Also, back then, time didn't lend itself to idle daydreams.

"Fine," Rinoa huffed after she realized that trying to lie would only prove fruitless. "Yeah, I've thought about it – it's natural, right? That doesn't mean I expect it or anything… or would even mention it. That is unless I would want Squall to go running from Garden into the nearest nest of venomous Anacondaurs."

"True or false," Selphie began, pointing her finger in an accusatory fashion. "Did you just compare being married to you like being poisoned slowly by an overgrown snakelike creature? Because, seriously, if you are - have you been talking to Irvine? I'm pretty sure that mirrors his _exact_ views of commitment. Eerie."

"No, I haven't talked to your boyfriend about it… believe me. So, before you we delve any further into this spiral of insanity… have _you_ ever thought about becoming Selphie Kinneas?"

"Totally!" Selphie quipped with excitement. "It's actually something fun to tease him about, especially when he looks at other women, plus it flusters him to no end. Strange what imagining changing a last name can do to a guy." She paused after a second, "But don't get me wrong, I get it, Squall is not Irvine."

Rinoa wanted to add a 'thank god' to that, but felt that it may be taken in the wrong context. Then again, maybe not… Still, the sorceress could not figure how her Monday morning had now turned into this fiasco. The whole realization did give her pause.

"Though in all seriousness, maybe that is part of my underlying hesitation now… _not_ the marriage thing, but the reason behind the change. Sure, I don't get along with Caraway, but after everything – do I want to do something out of spite at this point? I think that's how I'd see it now… Maybe what was important a few years ago, just isn't that important now. We've all grown up to a certain extent. Maybe as long as I keep 'Caraway' there is still a chance at a relationship. _A slim chance_ , but a chance. Not to mention, as you said, I'm Rinoa Heartilly to you guys. Maybe titles aren't as important to me as they once were – it's only words on paper."

Selphie looked at the envelope in her hand, before holding it up directly in front of Rinoa. "That's true… but, if it is only words on paper, you shouldn't let this bother you."

"I had one moment of clarity and you use it against me, huh?" Rinoa mumbled realizing what had unwittingly transpired.

"That's what friends are for, right?" The SeeD grinned triumphantly.

Now Selphie's attention turned toward the letter in hand. The name fascination had worn off, so now it was time to open the goddamn thing. "Man, that envelope looks really official, there's even a wax seal on the back. That's like the trademark of an event that has fine china and five types of dinning forks."

That, in Rinoa's opinion, was the absolute worst case scenario and unfortunately, the most likely. Quickly, she snatched the letter back, before her friend had time to analyze the sum of its parts anymore. Unintentionally, the sorceress held her breath, forgoing the use of a letter opener. She had several in her desk because of her line of work, but seriously, she didn't give a damn about neatness right now.

She held invitation in hand, noticing the heavy cardstock it was printed on probably cost more than she made in a week.

_The Committee for_  
The Presidential Inaugural  
requests the honor of your presence  
 _to attend and participate in the inauguration of_  
 _Jefferson William Mitchell  
_ _President elect of the great Republic of Galbadia_

_August fifteenth at the  
Presidential Palace Grand Ballroom_

Rinoa then reached for a second piece of paper, which had fallen from the envelope. It was handwritten on Galbadian crested stationery simply stating "Your attendance is required." To add insult to injury, the word 'required' was underlined.

There was no doubt who wrote this. The invitation by itself didn't upset her; it was the backhanded way that Caraway was still trying to control her. He damn well just tried to give her an order. Did he honestly think that saying she _must_ go would actually make her go? In fact, it pretty much garnered the opposite response.

"He can't even ask me. It's not an invitation it's a military-type order disguised in fancy pretense."

"So, you going to go? I mean it is the president and all. It could be a once and a lifetime thing. Plus, this means we can go shopping again! That's always a huge plus."

"I seriously doubt Caraway would even want me anywhere near him if it wasn't for my involvement with Garden. I mean, had I not been in the group that 'saved the world' he would have never wanted me around. Really, for god's sake I was _against_ Deling during the war. He's such a damn hypocrite."

"Maybe… or maybe he just wants you there and doesn't know how else to ask."

"Well, maybe _asking_ would be a start, not ordering…big difference."

"I still think you should think about it. Just don't dismiss it because of anger. I think you should talk to Squall."

"Hmph," Rinoa muttered. "You think he of all people would even consider going? I highly, highly doubt that. I barely can get him to a dance in this building without forcibly dragging him…and he only has to travel up an elevator and two hallways for that. You think I can get him half way across the world?"

"Well, I think you should discuss it. He may surprise you."

The problem was, Rinoa didn't think this time she wanted to be surprised. She had already had a firm grasp on her answer. There may be time to mend fences later, but somehow, she doubted this event would be that time.

* * *

For a few minutes, Squall had let the envelope idly sit atop his pile of mail. He had been busy and looking at a personal letter seemed to be the last distraction he needed. Well, he figured it was somewhat personal, given that it was hand addressed. Over the last few months, he had been invited to several events, parties, and celebrations and he turned them all down. Those not being forced on him by Garden, of course. He didn't need to play the hero; it wasn't who he was after all. He was just some kid tossed into an unbelievable situation. It just seemed the rest of the world didn't take his involvement as lightly and SeeD felt the need to elevate his contribution above the others. This bothered him, he wasn't the only one fighting for the future, he just seemed to the one people remembered.

As for this letter, he didn't think it was another baseless invite; usually, those came to his desk via the headmaster. No, this was addressed not only him to him personally, but it also listed his old room number – something very obscure indeed. As curiosity finally got the better of him, he mentally scolded Rinoa for her influence in that area. A year ago he would have not even given that damned thing a second glance, now he felt the inherent need to open it.

Reaching over, the commander sighed in irritation as he found himself giving into his weakness. Making quick work of the envelope, he pulled out the letter inside. He found a crimson colored paper with a ribbon attached, definitely not something that was the norm in his life. Undoing the ribbon, he opened the card further to an ivory insert. There he saw a once familiar name –Wimbly Donner.

Squall had almost forgotten about him, but it only seemed like a lifetime ago. Sadly, Wimbly had been his roommate for nearly ten years; one would think he would have deserved more than a casual thought. The commander had purposely avoided all social contact with the boy, who was basically the polar opposite of himself. Donner was outgoing, well-loved, and ironically, Selphie's predecessor to the Garden Festival Committee. It was his obsession with the latter that resulted in Wimbly eventually pulling away from SeeD. Well, that and his girlfriend, who apparently had been more than just a passing fling.

However, there was one thing that Donner never knew he would be - the person who inadvertently helped Squall from making the biggest mistake, up until that point, in his life. The commander would never admit it to his ex-roommate, in fact, back then he had lashed out at him for his horrid timing. It was amazing how things seemed different now, looking back with an entirely new perspective.

Squall stared blankly at the wedding invitation; it was still a very difficult concept in his mind. There was a part of him that was glad to see Wimbly and his girlfriend had survived their adversities. The commander had his doubts back then, but again, Squall pretty much doubted the need for relationships in general in those days. It seemed that his former roommate wasn't the only one who had matured over the years.

A sudden knock on his door brought him back to the present. He bit back the urge to grumble, though he truly hated distractions, especially those in human form. He set the paper on his desk heading toward the door. He would be glad when he didn't have to be in his apartment anymore, this getting up and answering the door was becoming an annoyance rather quickly.

He opened the door only to see a smirking Irvine, a sight that actually frightened him on many levels. Instead of his usual response, Squall looked at the cowboy, apparently the grinning man knew something he didn't, or at least thought he did.

"What?" Squall asked trying not to sound too irritable, but it was early on Monday morning. Plus, as much as he liked Irvine, he had quite frankly had enough of him over the last weekend. Too much of Irvine was usually a bad thing in his book.

"Just dropping by, Cid said I needed to run getting some new supplies through you."

"So, it's work related?" That was at least somewhat encouraging; he didn't need to hear another bout of personal angst between Selphie and Irvine. _That_ pretty much summed up the entire train ride home from Dollet.

"Yep. Though I suppose you and I hold different definitions of work."

Squall glared at him, not understanding that comment, then again, it was probably for the best. He shook his head in disgust, "Never mind, I don't even want to know what you mean. Come on, the computer's in back."

Irvine followed the commander, letting him take the lead. He had only been to Squall's a handful of times, and in most of those, he never made it any further than the living room. It was one of the first times he got the full scope of the commander's apartment.

" _Nice,"_ he drawled out overemphasizing the word as he eyed the place. "See you're moving up in the world. Although, could do a little better in the decoration department - you know, like actually have some."

"So I'm told." Squall responded well aware of this fact. It seemed to be a sticking point with Rinoa. His lack of decorating skills was a hot topic among some of his friends, that and his outright lack of furniture.

Without furthering the conversation, Squall made it back to his spare room that served as his temporary office. He took a seat behind the card table that served as his desk.

"Alright, let's have it."

Irvine looked around the room quickly realizing there wasn't a secondary chair in the room. "Squall man, where exactly am I supposed to sit?"

"You don't." The commander retorted as if the answer was painfully obvious.

"Seriously, this is cruel man… not even a folding chair in the closet? What are you going to do when we all show up for dinner one night?"

"Send you to the cafeteria," Squall replied just as calmly. The commander had found a direct correlation in having furniture to people wanting to sit in it…and not leave. So he just avoided the middleman, this way people would hopefully get the hint. Then again, with the stubbornness of his friends, maybe not.

"Fine," Irvine replied realizing this was a battle he couldn't win. Maybe Rinoa could, but him…not so much. "Anyway, I needed to see about ordering some dark ammo, but the stuff I'm looking for-"

Irvine stopped as he saw the invitation on the desk. He knew this situation well, and somehow wanted to help his friend from making the cardinal mistake often made by males everywhere. This squarely fit into his area of expertise, and he really hated to see his friend make a rookie mistake.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Yes." Squall had no idea why Irvine seemed interested in it.

"…To a wedding?"

"Yes, again."

"Are you thinking about going and taking Rinoa?"

"I've not decided anything either way."

"Squall Leonhart, I'm going to give you some advice. Never, and I mean never take a female to a wedding. It's just asking for trouble."

"What?" Squall replied half in amazement of the asinine comment. He figured Irvine had a reason to say what he did, but he'd be damned if he could figure it out.

"Yeah, that didn't come out exactly right," Irvine said straightening his hat with a soft chuckle. He hadn't meant it to say it so direct, but upon reconsidering his words; he could understand his friend's confusion.

"Look, just know if you take her, she won't be just watching the wedding, she'll be thinking about her own. She'll put herself in the bride's place, and guess who will be standing next to her? One guess. You could be getting yourself into a heap of trouble, trust me on this one – guns and women, remember?"

"Irvine, I'm not even going to…" Squall said still disbelieving this. Sure the commander had his doubts about going, but that certainly wasn't among his concerns. "Irvine, I think we better just stick to the subject of guns. Just get back to your ammo request."

* * *

For the third time in ninety minutes, someone knocked on Squall's door. He had to, had to get back to his office before his sanity ran thin. He had just gotten Irvine out not more than ten minutes before, which was quite the accomplishment for the day. After the cowboy's odd advice, he wasn't sure what to think. Worse yet, he started to think about what Irvine had meant.

It had never occurred to him about any double meaning. The last thing he ever did was put himself in other people's places – such as picturing himself at a wedding. He started to wonder if Irvine was right, would Rinoa do that? Though he doubted that was limited to women; he bet some guys did that too, as he could see Zell doing something along those lines – Laguna even more so. Then again, he started to believe that this must have at least crossed Irvine's mind at one point, which probably accounted for the warning. It was most likely the cowboy's fears of commitment manifesting in another way… he'd bet a hundred Gil on that

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Rinoa standing there. Then again, probably the best possible scenario.

"This is starting to become a habit." He offered the smallest of smiles to her. He didn't want her to think he was upset with her.

In return, she offered a very brief smile, something very unlike her. He immediately knew something was bothering her.

"Rinoa, you all right?"

She shrugged, it wasn't the biggest issue in the world and he had far greater concerns than her parental issues. She didn't even know why she found herself coming down here, he absolutely despised distractions, and just because she was going through a minor personal crisis didn't mean that he should stop working. She had just stepped out a break and to run down to grab a muffin. Unfortunately, she just found herself by passing the cafeteria and taking one too many steps to his apartment.

"I should go you're busy."

"Yes, I am, but you're here for a reason."

"It's not a good one," she countered.

"Let me decide." He stepped to the side, giving her unspoken permission to enter. He closed the door behind her, waiting for her to say something. She didn't, which again, was very unlike her.

"Is what's bothering you have something to do with what you have in there?" He motioned to her purse with his hand.

"What?" She questioned in shock. How in the world did he possibly know that? Sure, they could share empathetic moments at times, but this was crossing some mental line.

"Don't worry, it's not what you think." Ironically, he said that knowing what she was most likely thinking. "It was actually a simple conclusion, because since I first opened the door, you've done nothing but clutch your purse. Now, I could either assume you're afraid that I'm going to jump over my nonexistent coach and become the most unlikely purse snatcher at Garden, or there's something in there that is bothering you."

"You are good." She found that his attempt at humor had made her involuntarily smile, lightening her overall mood. It just seemed so easy when he was around, even if she had a rather upsetting morning. She knew she had done that to herself, making a mountain of a molehill had somehow become her specialty.

"No, I'm just observant and you're changing the subject." He glanced at his watch before looking back at her. "Early lunch."

"Is that a question?"

"I suppose it is... Why don't we take an early lunch? We can talk."

"God, it's got to be bad if you're offering to talk," she mumbled in embarrassment. She didn't expect this; then again, she had no idea what she expected when she walked down here.

"Rin…"

"Sorry, yeah…if you don't mind. I know you're busy, I really don't want to bother you."

"We went over this, I think. Plus, it was my suggestion, remember?"

"Wait," she paused taking a step into the room. It was hazy and slight, but there was something clouded in her thoughts. "Is there something you want to talk about too?" She looked at him questionably.

Rinoa had no idea why she said it or how to gauge his response. His stare was near emotionless, and she had come to understand he had several emotions; it just took subtle nuances to understand, and this one wasn't one she had learned to read.

"Now…you're good," he responded in disbelief.

There was a sudden awkwardness between them that hadn't been their earlier. He tried to shake it, pressing forward. He pointed toward the back.

"If you want to sit, there's a chair in the office."

"Isn't there only one?"

"Yeah, it's fine, I can sit on the floor."

"You need furniture, you know that right?"

He shrugged giving her the tiniest hint of a smile. Didn't he already have this conversation today?

"Just makes people think their welcomed. Same reason I'll never have a welcome mat in front of the door – sends mixed singles after I try to bludgeon them with whatever is nearby."

She sighed lifting her hands in jest. "Didn't this weekend teach you anything?"

"Yes, I shouldn't take you to jump off a bridge for our anniversary." He quickly wanted to amend his statement to say 'birthday' as he didn't know how she would interpret anniversary. Damn Irvine for getting into his thoughts, although he felt at this point it was better just to let it slide. He usually got himself into trouble when he tried to correct his wording. He just needed to sit her down and talk.

"Want to go to my bedroom?"

…And crap.

"I mean go to the bedroom and sit. Sit on the bed together and talk," Squall fumbled.

Ah yes, if this was any indication of how this conversation would go, he should have just stayed asleep.


	10. Parallax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really unlike anything I've done in the series before. In the past, I've avoided any flashbacks in Dancing in Time/Endless Waltz. Normally I use the characters to narrate any prior events, with the exception of Rinoa remembering the 'dream' in chapters seven and eight of DiT. Having the characters dictate this really wouldn't work in what I was trying to accomplish. There are three parts (one this chapter and two next) of this story arc that are written from the perspective of two years ago – dates and times are important here and listed next to the segments. These two chapters (ten & eleven) will be the only time I'll write using this concept. This is also one of the original ideas I had for the story. I just didn't think it would take me thirty-some odd chapters to get here!
> 
> Other notes: As far as the name Wimbly from the game itself, it never said if he/she was female or male – playing the game I was thinking female. I figured at this point to use some creative license and make him a male; Wimbly is short for Wimbledon for my story purposes. For those who are going 'who is Wimbly Donner,' well it's on the Garden Square when you first log in; he/she is leaving Garden and resigning from their duties of the Garden Festival, which Selphie then takes over for…is it sad I know this? At least I'm not alone. ;)

_-o-o-o-_

_Par-al-lax_ **(-noun.)**  
An apparent change in the direction of an object,  
caused by a change in observational position  
that provides a new line of sight.

-o-o-o-

June 9th - 9:47 pm (Two years prior – Garden Dorm)

_It was new and uncomfortable; it was exciting but also somehow felt inherently wrong. Maybe if he hadn't had that glass (possibly more) of wine or if he had drawn his own boundaries instead of having someone define them for him – Squall Leonhart would not be in this position._

_Most sixteen year old males would be thrilled by this prospect, no limitations, no restrictions, and no one to truly stop him – no one except his own conscience. To him, this could be (was) his greatest failure to date._

_Then why the hell did failure feel so damn amazing?_

_He mentally cursed at himself, wishing to find that sense of reason that tonight was obviously lacking. This wasn't him; this was nothing more than something that amounted to teenage rivalry and pride, not to mention both intoxicated and overactive hormones. It all started with an off-handed comment that had gone too far._

_Or was in the process of going too far…he wasn't sure which yet…_

_How he found himself in this position he could barely recall - a position which currently had his arms wrapped around a perfect stranger, hands roaming over barely-covered flesh. His uniform jacket tossed on the floor, shirt unbuttoned, and her hands getting dangerously close to something that he would forever regret. This was not him._

_He only met her a few minutes ago. He didn't even recall her last name. It started with a rival. A dare. A dance. An invitation to his dorm. A roommate that was away. A lifetime of feeling pressure, whether real or in his own mind…_

_How did this all happen?_

_One word: stupidity. His._

_If he was looking for a sign to stop, his mind was screaming plenty, but the swirling mixture of alcohol, hormones, and tension seemed to have the upper hand over logic and reason. Again, this wasn't him, but maybe for just tonight, for just this moment in life, he wanted it to be. The following moments would only be a short term answer, however, the regret he would feel later would be overwhelming – but he didn't seem to give a damn._

_This was different. The feeling of someone's lips upon his was foreign. It was so easy for some people – physical contact and relationships were so causal. Why for tonight couldn't he just let himself go? Nothing was stopping him._

_That was nothing until the door suddenly opened._

_So much for his damned roommate that was supposed to be away._

_Squall was angry and outright furious as he cursed, again not acting himself. He rarely showed emotion, but that man wasn't supposed to be there. Squall was embarrassed and ashamed that he had allowed his actions to get this far. Instead of yelling at himself, he angrily growled at his roommate who stood in utter shock – and this scene was a shock to Wimbly to say the very least. But Squall's tirade was never directed toward the right person, he hated his weakness at that moment._

_Deep inside Squall was thankful._

_He just couldn't see that right now; he had wanted a sign earlier and thankfully, he found one._

* * *

_July 14th 10:13am _

Rinoa felt a certain unease sitting on the edge of Squall's bed. She had been patiently waiting while he went ahead and contacted the headmaster. Right now, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had made a mistake in even coming down here. There was an underlying feeling of tension surrounding them; it was something that she eventually had sensed once she could see beyond her own issues.

Sometimes their empathetic connection could be both a blessing and a curse – it always served a purpose, it just never seemed to be convenient. Of course, that would have been too easy, and since when was their relationship anything close to easy?

Going to Squall wasn't her intent when she left her desk, but then again, she wasn't sure what her intent had been when she took the break. Still, one step had led to another and then another until she had found herself perched on his doorstep. Part of her wondered how he would take this. She didn't want to appear weak, like she would have to run to him every time something upset her. There seemed to be a fine balance that she was still trying to define. Time would only tell if this had been the correct decision. Honestly, it was too late to have a change of heart now.

She may have been overacting just a tad to her father's invitation, but things tended to rub her the wrong way when it came to Caraway. Rinoa just didn't know why she had been invited to the inauguration ball – was it because he truly wanted her there, as a start to a renewed relationship with Timber, or because she was part of the six who saved the world?

Sure, if it had been either of the first two options she would have been more than flattered, but she was highly skeptical. She guessed it had to do with her new found celebrity. She certainly wasn't going to let that man exploit her when, in fact, he was the one vehemently opposed to her involvement in the first place.

She had to let that line of thinking go for now, as apparently she had other things to worry about. The worst part about this morning's little scenario - Squall wanted to talk… _wanted_ to. That was near the equivalent of her wanting to touch a spider or wanting to jump off a bridge; neither of those things were high up on her 'to do' list.

As she waited her fingers nervously fumbled around with his bedspread, un-tucking the corners from their military-grade confines. She wondered how his conversation with Cid was going; she had opted out of staying in the room when he called the headmaster. It wasn't exactly standard protocol for two workers to take time off in the morning to talk about personal issues. She pretty much knew in the real world this would most likely get them both fired, yet here, they had always been granted leeway. Then again, there was nothing 'real-world' about their situation in the first place.

It really hadn't been that long, it just seemed like it was taking him forever. Her nerves were starting to get the better of her. She paused when she had a random thought - what if he could sense that she was nervous? By default would that make him nervous when talking to the headmaster? That could be really awkward for both of them. She swallowed, trying to calm herself. This line of thinking would get her nowhere and in the end, make the situation far more complicated than it need be.

Luckily, she didn't have time to dissect things further as Squall finally walked in from the other room. She couldn't tell much by his expression, or lack thereof of one, but knowing Squall was still an art form that she most likely would never completely master.

"How'd it go?" she asked trying not show her nervousness.

"Fine. He understands."

She crooked her neck to the side, contemplating the possible meaning of his answer. "Do you ever think it's a little on the strange side that Cid understands so much about us?"

He shrugged, though he gave her the tiniest hint of a smile – the one that only his friends could possibly decipher.

"Just as strange as the fact that I'm an eighteen year old commander, a knight, and my girlfriend is a sorceress. Not to mention that he basically lead a parallel life for awhile – give or take a few major details. He just doesn't want that to happen to us."

He sat on the edge of his bed nudging her over to the other side. She silently obliged and both found a way to rearrange themselves so they were relatively comfortable. He never realized how small a twin bed could be until the rare times that fate tossed them on one. Then again, sometimes he didn't mind the closeness at all. It was also this rare closeness that would often give him strength to look at their future.

"But Rinoa, I'm not blind. I know there's more than one reason for his willingness to work around us. I mean, sure, he cares and I know that – I'm not doubting that for a second. But there's also the fact that we're less of a threat to Garden if they can keep an eye on us. It's not a completely selfless act on their part."

He let it go at that. If that situation would have to be addressed at a later time, he would, but for now all parties seemed content on their arrangements. They both had maneuvered themselves so they were leaning against the headboard. There was a moment that part of him felt the need to instinctively wrap his arm around her. However, given the conversation that was most likely going to transpire, he didn't know how appropriate that action would be.

"So," he began looking directly in her eyes, "you want to start? Why don't you tell me what's in your purse that has you so upset?"

She nodded silently.

Instead of telling him, she figured it would be just as easy to show him the invitation. Unfortunately, she had set her bag on his nightstand earlier. Of course, when he scooted her over she was no longer next to her purse. So, she reached over him to retrieve the envelope. It wasn't exactly a bad thing to be that close as she pressed against his body. Actually, it was just the opposite. This hadn't been her original intent, but it would be rather redundant to pull back now; she still wanted her bag and this was _so_ much better than walking around the bed. She heard him make a sound akin to moan; apparently, she was crushing him more than she thought.

Sitting back up right, she smiled innocently, "Sorry about that."

He didn't reply just lifted an accusatory eyebrow in her direction; he knew she wasn't as innocent as she was trying to play. He shook his head feigning disgust and took the envelope now in her hand. He knew she truly wasn't sorry, but then again, he wasn't truly upset.

They remained in silence as he read the invitation. He hadn't really understood the true reason for her mood until he saw the small hand-written note: your attendance is required.

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's a little harsh."

"I just-" she began, once again frustrated by the situation, "why does he still think that after all this time he can still order me around? It's not like I'm some kind of soldier in his private little army."

"Rinoa, I'm in _no_ way siding with him, but I just want to say that maybe this is the only way he knows. Asking for things isn't always easy for some people, especially if either giving or receiving orders is the norm in their life."

"I suppose," she mumbled, though not completely sold. "It just seems that with him it's different. I've seen both sides. Yes, he can have that military persona, but he also used to have a…well, civilian side - for lack of a better term. It was there when I was younger, before my mother… well, you know. It's just that I want to see that side of him again not _this_ side." She pointed to the order written on the invitation.

This was hitting close to home for Squall. If anyone walked in, they might think they were talking about him - not Caraway. But truthfully, it would be hard for Rinoa to understand how trained one becomes, how even in everyday live that strict mindset was hard to brush off.

He only hoped that she wouldn't take his comments the wrong way. He wasn't defending Caraway, rather trying to offer another perspective. "I understand your point too, but the fact is you may have to get through the military part of him to find the other one again."

Rinoa contemplated his words and maybe to some degree Squall did make sense. She just didn't know how much more regimented bullshit she could handle from Caraway before it became too much. She was already at a point where every little thing that the man did irritated her. Maybe having a boyfriend who was also in the military could offer her different insights. Honestly, Rinoa could see both sides of Squall, both a warrior and a boyfriend. Maybe she should give her father the same opportunity.

She took the invitation back from Squall, carefully rereading the words. It didn't seem to lessen her irritation, but maybe there was some hope behind the pretense. "So, you think we should go?"

He was just about to answer that the choice was hers, but then the date sunk in. "Rin, I honestly can't tell you what you should do, but unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to go with you. SeeD has a yearly retreat for senior leaders and instructors that has already been pushed back. I have a two-week commitment the middle of August. It's really nothing I can get out of."

"Oh," she answered, unsure if she was disappointed by this or thankful she now had another reason to decline. She thought about it for a minute before admitting, "I wasn't ready to face him anyhow. It's not like this is earth-shattering if I don't go and I'm certainly not facing that firing squad alone."

"Thanks for wanting to toss me in front of the squad too," he half-joked. "I'll remember that when I have to face Laguna." Then he paused realizing how absurd that comment was, "Yeah, that doesn't exactly work, does it? You love the guy. Somehow, I get to lose out twice on this facing our father issues. I'll just make you jump off another bridge, then _maybe_ we'll be even."

"Always the chivalrous one, aren't you?" She laughed, playfully tapping him on the arm.

"Kind of in my job description – that whole knight thing. But honestly, I'm really sorry I couldn't be more help about this."

"No, please don't ever think that. You were helpful… but mostly, I think I just needed to vent. So, thank you." Rinoa tried to assure. Now it was her time to repay the favor, or at least she hoped. "All right, now that you've helped me out of my semi-off-the-wall crisis, it's my turn to do the same… You want to talk about whatever's on your mind?"

"No," he stated rather bluntly at first, but then corrected himself, "I mean yes, I do. It's just that I'd rather not, but I feel that it's time… I guess my timing skills are just as spot-on as yours, huh?"

"You're not making much sense," Rinoa said slowly, not sure if she had seen him quite this at a loss for words.

"I'm aware." Squall placed his head into his hands and rubbed his eyes for a second. He really wasn't sure how to bring this up or even why he decided to pick now. He was never really known for his keen sense of timing, but then again neither was Rinoa – it was another common trait they had inadvertently discovered they shared.

He finally looked up, quickly glancing over to her before returning his gaze in front of him. Now or never…

"Well, ironically, I got an invitation in the mail today too."

"What? Caraway sent you one? I guess that makes sense given your position and all but..."

"No, no… I didn't mean from him. I mean a wedding invitation from my old roommate."

"…And this is bad how?"

She honestly had no idea why this would upset him to a point of being near incoherent. Maybe Squall was much more opposed to the idea of marriage than she thought… or was it possible that he had an allergic reaction to the paper the invitation was printed on? Sadly, given the choice between those two thoughts, she honestly hoped it was the latter.

"We kind of have a history." He finally said after a long, awkward pause.

"He was your roommate, isn't that sorta expected?"

"To a point, yes, except I ignored him for over three years and then one night pretty much ended up losing my temper with him. I blamed him for certain things when honestly, he did nothing wrong."

"I'm missing something here, aren't I?"

"Yes and no." There he was giving indecisive answers again. At this rate, they would be sitting here until dinner time. Once more in frustration, he put his hands to his face. Why was this so difficult to talk about?

She didn't push him or even encourage him to continue. She knew that sometimes it was best to just back off and let him work things out in his own mind. He would tell her when he was ready, if he was really ready. The fact that he had even come this far spoke volumes. His heart really _wanted_ to tell her, even if his brain hadn't figured that out yet.

"Rinoa the thing is you know, or I should say, saw most of it… I just never explained. Maybe I should have after you remembered what Ultimecia showed you, but I don't think I was ready then."

"Oh," she said softly.

Rinoa immediately knew what he was talking about and although she had been curious for months, she always respected his privacy enough not to ask. She wasn't exactly meant to see that part of his life, though it sometimes bothered her more than she cared to admit at times, but they were both allowed their pasts.

She had her history with Seifer and that couldn't have ever been easy on Squall, especially knowing the lifetime of harassment those two shared. Then again, Squall was never forced to witness those events firsthand, and that was most likely a godsend.

Still, the images with Squall and that other girl, dancing and kissing… well, they were hard to push out of her mind. It wasn't right and rather hypocritical, but it seemed to be just part of human nature, she supposed.

"So, what you saw...it happened. I wish it didn't, but it did."

He stopped half expecting her to offer a response. She didn't. Whether this was a good sign or bad one only time would tell. The main problem to him was even with all that happened, he had no idea what Rinoa had seen or heard. He had no idea how Ultimecia had twisted it or if she could have twisted the truth any worse than it already was in his mind…

It was all a little unnerving. For a second, he recalled when he had heard Laguna's thoughts. He was so annoyed at the time that he never realized how intrusive it truly was. Not to mention that he would never want to discuss what he'd witnessed through the eyes of Laguna; it was horrible enough for him to experience once. His father's thoughts on Julia were now rather disturbing, in his opinion, knowing how that little story played out.

The commander would have to sort out those feelings later, as right now, he realized that he was purposely avoiding the subject at hand. Yet, Rinoa had said nothing through his silence, which he was extremely thankful for, especially after the errant thoughts of their parents.

"Yeah…" he mumbled, taking a deep breath.

Rinoa would never know why, but the curiosity was quickly getting the better of her. He was having trouble - that was quite obvious. It was a gamble, but maybe she could move him along.

"Who… who was she?" After the words left her mouth, she was mortified at her own bluntness.

"Nobody." He responded knowing that wasn't exactly the truth either. She was just 'nobody' to him.

"Squall, she wasn't nobody."

"No, I suppose she wasn't. But she was nobody to me, just a mistake I almost made."

"Almost?" Somehow she already knew that, but confirmation never hurt.

"Yes, _almost_ … Rinoa, just because I have kissed another girl, doesn't mean that you weren't the first person I kissed."

"Sometimes I don't know if you're being really sweet and compassionate or just really obtuse."

"Obtuse? Me? I'd like to categorize myself more as acute."

The next thing Squall heard was her laughter radiating from beside him.

And just like that, somehow the tension had been broken. They were still talking about something neither of them really wanted to but, in that second, he knew it was going to be okay. Nothing would change, not that he really expected it to. They were continually in the process of learning about each other, learning to defuse the otherwise tense times. And sometimes, an unexpected comment from him was all it took to break that barrier.

The thing that still amazed him was that it was almost becoming second nature. Rinoa had managed to get through his military side and get into that other part he just recently found existed. Even though the tension had been broken, that didn't negate his obligations to explain the truth.

With one sideways glance at her, he followed through with his initial instincts.

"Come here," he softly said, pulling her forward enough to move his arm around her. She easily obliged and found solace close to him. Being like this, she honestly believed what he had just told her - that she really was the first person he had ever kissed. It was an extremely sweet sentiment that she would never forget.

"I'm guessing you know certain parts about the truth, seen some parts. Honestly, probably more than I even remember, it's kind of a blur. I think I remember yelling at Wimbly more than anything."

"So, Mr. Obtuse, you never did tell me who she was…are you really going to make me guess?"

"If I tell you I really don't know much about her or who she was – would that make it seem worse or better?"

"Well, knowing you, that only makes it more confusing."

"Then I really shouldn't tell you that Seifer's involved."

Rinoa opened her mouth as if to make a comment, but immediately closed it. Sometimes when the word 'Seifer' was involved… silence was golden.

"Yeah, I thought you'd say something like that," Squall replied dryly after he had seen her mouth start to move. "It's really not that complicated and certainly nothing I'm proud to admit, but I think it would be best for me start at the beginning."


	11. Parallax - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I was trying to publish this earlier and ended up posting about four versions of chapter 10. Ooops... My main goal is to finish _After the Fal_ , but I **WILL** work on all these stories! Yes, I even all-capped that because I'm _that_ determined. I'm not positive how many people are following through here but, if you want to get a hold of me or check on current updates, the easiest way is to PM/leave a comment on my Facebook Page. It was set up by a long-time reader many years ago -[Ashbear Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashbear/140175139374301)
> 
> *hugs* Anyways, than you again for the continuous support over the last thirteen (plus) years; it may take me a little long in between updates, but I'm still having fun!

-o-o-o-

_Par-al-lax_ **(-noun.)**  
An apparent change in the direction of an object,  
caused by a change in observational position  
that provides a new line of sight.

-o-o-o-

_June 9_ _th_ _– 8:21 pm (Two years prior – Ballroom) _

_Squall Leonhart hated these events, everything about them irritated him. He wouldn't have even shown up, but those damn Garden Masters would have just tracked him down. Attendance was for strictly for appearance's sake – SeeD was never a united front, they just liked to have financial contributors believe it was. Garden wanted, no demanded, everyone's attendance, especially a cadet with such high hopes placed on him for the future… That wasn't his choice either._

_Sometimes he cursed himself for taking up the gunblade._

_The rare blade had an inherited stigma attached to it which eluded him as a child. When he decided to wield the gunblade, it was because of a morose fascination. It was both intricately beautiful and deathly accurate. It was an elite weapon; therefore, they expected only the best to wield it. Most who decided to take it up only managed a few months, if that. It was nearly unheard of that anyone continued training into their teens, but Squall had - Seifer had._

_In some ironic twist they had always challenged one another, maybe neither would have found the drive if it had not been for the accomplishments (and failures) of the other. If Seifer trained two hours, Squall would train three. If Seifer found out, he would go back and train two more._

_And so it was – always._

_Theirs was a back and forth relationship, although never give and take. It was built on a deep-rooted rivalry that dated back for as long as both could recall, though neither could remember why. But the 'why' wasn't important, it hadn't been for a very long time. It was this relationship that kept either from accepting failure as an option. Each would not stop until considered a master in the field, neither would be outshone by the other._

_Standing in the shadows of the ballroom, Squall swirled the contents of his glass. His resentment toward this entire evening grew with each passing second. Once in a while, he would glance up and scan the room. This was more an act of military reconnaissance than care for of any of the room's inhabitants. It was like the old adage: keep your friends close, your enemies closer. He had just left that 'friends' part out of the equation entirely. It was simpler that way._

_Quistis was sitting at a table casually talking to Cid Kramer and a robed Garden Master. Her actions seemed innocent to any onlooker, just mingling, but he knew exactly what she was doing. Watching him. In the corner furthest from him, a few girls stood; they would smile and then look coyly away. Really, who were they kidding? Did short skirts and errant glances think they would somehow garner his attention? They weren't from Balamb Garden because no female here would think that tactic had the slightest chance in hell with him._

_In the center of the room was Seifer with his puppy-like fan club of two - and it_ _always_ _had to the center for added dramatic effect. Seifer's flippant attitude carried over to his social skills. A remark here, a snide comment there, and the guy truly thought the universe revolved around him._

_Still, nobody had ever been able to get under Squall's skin like Seifer. They were too much alike; they were too much different. The comparisons between the two gunbladers never ceased – instructors, students, Garden Masters, and even the fucking headmaster. Their rivalry was something that seemed to be a competition before either of them could even walk._

_There was no winner or no loser…_

_Until today._

_Oh yes, today Squall Leonhart saw his justice. Seifer did not pass the SeeD exam. His rival failed publicly and in dramatic fashion at that._

_And it was beautiful._

_As Squall finished his second (maybe third) glass of wine, he signaled the server for another. He was sixteen and yet nobody in this place gave a damn. They could have their vices as long as they killed efficiently. He scoffed at that thought as he downed another glass. He normally wouldn't indulge but today was his victory in a way. Seifer Almasy was no more of a SeeD than he was, the arrogant jackass finally was taken down a few notches. He still respected Seifer for his abilities, he always had. At times they had even gotten along, but right now that was not the point. It wasn't like Squall to revel in other's failures, yet this just felt so damn good._

_As if knowing that he was thinking about him, Seifer sauntered over. Squall acted as if he didn't notice or particularly gave a damn._

" _Leonhart, see you showed your face. Thought maybe you were too cowardly to show, seeing as you didn't have the balls to take the exam."_

_Squall kept his composure. Seifer was trying to turn the tables on the situation, instead of Seifer's failure it would be Squall's for not even trying. It was almost ingenious, Squall thought, but he wouldn't take the bait, not this time._

" _I plan on getting it right the first time," sneered Squall and then coolly added, "Oh sorry, I forgot."_

* * *

_July 14_ _th_ _10:40am _

Rinoa watched her boyfriend as he talked about Seifer, there was always something telling about his expression. Even though he had seemed to make peace with the rival gunblader, sometimes old emotions would shine through. She remained silent as he continued telling the story.

"I think he didn't exactly appreciate my comment. From there I would say the banter went back and forth, but really it was completely one-sided, well, with the exception of a few unnecessary comments from Fujin and Raijin. I had learned to shut his crap out long ago, but something he said ate at me. I didn't understand at the time why it bothered me so much, but I do now."

When he seemed to fall silent, Rinoa didn't know if she should force the issue. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "Squall, if you're not ready, you don't have to do this."

"It's not that… It's just that by talking about it now, I'm beginning to understand my reactions a little more." He looked her directly in the eyes. "And Rinoa, that's a good thing."

At that comment, she reached her hand over to his interlocking their fingers. That was the only encouragement that he needed to continue his explanation.

"I don't remember Seifer's exact wording, but the gist was along the lines of: nobody ever would want me and how people would just end up leaving once they knew the real me. Remember, this was _before_ I remembered anything about Ellone. My childhood was just bits and pieces – but the feelings were still buried there. The first part of the comment really didn't get to me, but the second… He had hit on a very deep nerve. Between my anger and the alcohol – I just wanted to slug him. I didn't give a damn about my future."

"You didn't, did you?" Rinoa asked, unable to hold herself back.

"Well, _I did_ eventually and broke his nose, but not until two years later." He pushed some hair out of her face. His fingers lingered on her skin just a little too long. He offered her a wry smile. "But I think you kind of know how that part of the story went."

She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Rinoa did feel slightly responsible for the incident in Trabia. Then again, there was still that small part of her that silently celebrated his actions.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," Rinoa sheepishly answered, trying her best to look innocent.

"Uh huh, sure you are…"

Squall squeezed her hand; this time it was his turn to give her a kiss on the forehead. Resting back against the headboard, he again thought about the history between them.

"Rinoa, I think it's important that you know that's not how Seifer and I always reacted to one another. Most times we were civil. I think that night the anger and aggression just boiled to a head. He wasn't always bad, but he certainly was never a saint. Then again, neither was I - no matter how much Garden tried to look the other way. Thinking back, one of the more ironic aspects to this is – that is if I have my timing right - a few weeks after that dance is when you met Seifer.

He glanced over to her. "I never found a reason to be envious of him until now - because of that summer he got to spend with you. I, on the other hand, spent that time training my ass off. I was going to make SeeD on my first try. I was determined."

She sighed, unsure how this had come back to her relationship with Seifer, but she knew it was all relevant somehow. "Squall, I think that in our own ways we both needed Seifer - for good or bad he was a necessary part of our lives. For you, he inadvertently he helped you train to become my knight. For me, well, without him I would have never come to Garden. I wouldn't have hired SeeD and we both know how that little 'purchase' turned out."

Squall didn't like to admit that he that needed anyone in his life; it was still hard for him to accept his feelings towards Rinoa at times. But 'needing' Seifer? He had to admit that the man did help shape his past. Unfortunately, that fact could never be denied.

"I suppose you're right. Just don't tell him. It will go straight to his head."

Whether he meant it jokingly or not, she laughed. "Yeah, no…he has a big enough god-complex as it is, although I do think his time in Trabia is helping."

"I check on him periodically," he admitted softly, "there seems to be progress…slow, but progress nonetheless. Of course, if you ask me if I care I'll deny it. I'll also probably deny checking on him too."

Squall knew that although Seifer played a part in that evening two years ago, he wasn't truly to blame for his actions. Nobody ever forced his reaction to their exchange in the ballroom.

"Back to the night of the dance…" Squall tried to steer this back on track. He had enough of thinking about Seifer to last him well into the next millennia. "Honestly, who knows if I would have hit him, because at that very moment a girl walked up and asked me to dance. She was forward, I remember that, but at the time I was glad for the interruption – plus I didn't need to get suspended… I hate saying this, but there was also a small moral victory that she had asked me, not him. It kind of negated part of his earlier point. So we danced. It wasn't for the same reasons I danced with you, but I won't deny it didn't happen. When we were dancing I remember her asking if I wanted to go somewhere private."

"Oh how cliché," Rinoa blurted out sarcastically. She put her free hand to her mouth realizing just how petty she was sounding. "Sorry, I'll be quiet. Promise."

"It's okay, really." He wished he could tell her how cute she looked, but it obviously wasn't the time so he just continued, "I declined and then made an abrupt exit from the dance floor, shocking right? I just wanted to get away from everything. For some ungodly reason, Seifer followed me into the hallway. Rather loudly he made several crude comments. When I didn't react, well, somehow he threw a dare in there."

Lifting their interlocked hands together, he turned so that his 'ping-pong' scar was visible. He had told her that story in Trabia only a few months before. Sometimes it shocked him how much of his life he truly exposed to her.

"You remember me telling you about our history with dares? How I got my first scar because of the magnifying glass? Well, he knew it would most likely eventually get to me… I remember him laughing at me… I honestly still hate how I let that man influence my decisions."

He then moved the arm that had been around her just enough to point to his forehead.

"And this? You know, I didn't have to give him a scar too. I didn't have to go down to his level. That was pure retaliation on my part, consequences be damned. Then even on the SeeD exam I let him influence me. The three of us were ordered to remain at the town square, but Seifer wanted to find action. Honestly, Zell was the only one who listened and sometimes I think of our group, he should have been the only one that passed. Garden just always seemed to 'overlook' my actions, Seifer wasn't so lucky. That's how it was with us… or how it used to be."

Damn it, he was doing it again. This was either because of his need to talk about Seifer or his need to avoid what came next that night. He wasn't sure.

He was disgusted at himself; he needed to just tell her. "Basically that night Seifer turned everything into challenge, I couldn't back down. It wasn't logical. Without the alcohol, I doubt I would have fallen for it… I still don't know what the hell I was thinking, or more like, _wasn't_ thinking."

"So the girl you danced with …" she stopped as it was rather difficult to say.

"Yeah, I went back and found her in the crowd. Just like that I asked her back to my dorm, my roommate was supposed to be gone for another week. At first, my reasons for taking her there were strictly about pride… But once we got there, I forgot all about that. I just wanted her there. For once, I didn't want to follow the rules. I didn't want to have the appearance of perfect student anymore. I wanted a physical release…or god help me, that's what I thought I wanted. It wasn't – it wasn't at all. For one time in sixteen years, I didn't want to give a fuck about consequences."

He paused, "Rinoa I'm not going to say that it didn't get far, because it started to…and honestly, I had no intention of stopping, but right then the door flew open. She and I, we never even made it as far as my bedroom. We were right there in the common area. So when Wimbly opened the door, he saw a lot…but stopped a whole lot more."

"So your roommate…" she began, but never finished the sentence.

Rinoa felt his arm tighten around her; he must have taken her comment as anger. It wasn't. It was more along the line of shock, and honestly, a whole lot of thankfulness – although she would have accepted the story either way.

"Yeah, he did. He wasn't supposed to be there but somehow that changed. I think I scared the poor guy to death, in the three years that we roomed together, I probably talked to him on _maybe_ a half-dozen occasions. So what was my reaction? To yell at him for walking into his own room. I usually hold my anger in, but this night…I have no idea what happened, everything just manifested itself. I scared the girl off somewhere in there. Honestly, it barely registered when she left the room. I was too pissed at the wrong person. Wimbly ended up leaving Garden with his girlfriend about two weeks later. I always wondered if I had something to do with it. I said things that could never be taken back."

"Squall, I don't think it was because of you, though you _can_ be scary when you want. I just think if someone is going to give up years of training that their decision probably isn't made overnight. I can see asking to transfer rooms, but giving up on a life's goal? I really don't think so. It's funny, I never heard you mention your roommate before."

"You never asked." He said it like it was most obvious thing in the world. "Plus, as a general rule back then, I avoided thinking about others whenever possible. Wimbly was nice enough, I suppose… That is, if you like people. He was a few years older…a little different in his own way, but honestly, I'm not the person best suited to judge someone's personality. If anything about him, I'm actually glad to see that he stayed with his girlfriend. Good for him."

"Oh, look at you… See, I knew you were a big romantic."

"You know, you shouldn't say things like that. That's how rumors get started."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

Rinoa reached her finger up and playfully tapped him on the nose. He seemed slightly agitated but didn't say anything. She tried to suppress a giggle as she rolled so she could place her head on his chest.

Rinoa remained such an enigma to him sometimes. She seemed not to have commented much on the girl, which he could understand, maybe it was better that way. He shook his head as he gently pulled her closer finally admitting, "I just don't know why he would invite me to his wedding."

"Well, you did live together for three years. It could just be proper etiquette or maybe it's because you're the commander now, who knows. So…you going to go?"

"I wasn't planning on it. What exactly do I say to him: sorry I yelled at you for walking in your own door and finding me making out with some stranger?"

"You're telling me there's no greeting card for that? I'm shocked."

Rinoa tried to put the situation in perspective. It was ironic how the latter part of that night was bothering Squall more than his dancing companion. Rinoa honestly realized that once they had gotten past _that_ aspect of the evening, Squall's bigger reason for regret was how he had treated his roommate. She doubted a year ago he would have felt bad, now it was weighing heavily on him.

It also proved just how little that girl meant to him.

Maybe he really did believe Rinoa was the first person he had ever kissed. After thinking about his earlier statement, she truly thought that could have been one of the most romantic things he had ever said – even if it was completely inadvertent at the time.

"Squall, you could just go to the wedding and wish him well. That could just be your version of a white flag. He probably still has a great respect for you and just supporting him in his future would mean something."

"I never thought you'd react this way to any of this. I guess I was afraid to bring up the past. I wasn't sure how you would take it."

She nervously bit her lip, realizing just how seriously this could have been interpreted. "Squall…I just can't believe how Ultimecia twisted it. I mean, if you hadn't told me the truth… It's scary how something like this could be taken out of context – well, _was_ taken out of context. I was more upset with you three months ago than I am now. Things like _this_ and my history with Seifer, these are things we have to get out in the open."

"It's not exactly that easy, Rinoa. Believe me, I'm trying, but it isn't just going to magically happen as much as either of us wants."

Rinoa realized that she had not commented about his run-in with the other woman. She also knew that she needed to, if not he may think that she was still upset. Strangely, she wasn't and she needed to clarify that.

"I want you to know that even if something had happened with her…you know," she him-hawed around before finally blurting it out, "sex, I mean if you had sex."

Rinoa immediately stopped when she realized how ridiculous she sounded; of course he would know exactly what she had meant. That was certainly one aspect that she didn't need to clarify. She nervously tried to continue, wishing that she could just hide under the covers, "I, um… well, you know what I meant, sorry. I just want you to know that it wouldn't change how I feel. It wouldn't change a thing between us."

"Thank you, that means a lot."

He had been slightly taken aback that Rinoa had been so forward in her earlier wording, although it appeared that she was equally as shocked. Both of them seemed to dance around that issue directly concerning their relationship. He knew that would have to change, but right now that wasn't the issue. "Rinoa, just know that she didn't mean anything, I promise you that. I just wish I'd been able to stop myself and not Wimbly. I do blame myself for that."

"Don't blame yourself – just think of this way, maybe you had a guardian angel watching over you, or maybe fate just had other plans for you, _for us_. You know, I think we were really meant to fumble through our first time together."

He raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at her. "Fumble? I'd like to thank you for the vote of confidence."

She released her grip on him, bringing both her hands to her face in utter embarrassment. If she thought it couldn't get worse after her 'sex' comment, she basically just judged him on an encounter that hadn't happened yet.

" _I want to die, I want to die,"_ she mumbled to herself, but still loud enough for him to hear her.

He pulled her hands away, urging her to look directly at him. "I'm kidding. It's all right, Rinoa. I know exactly what you meant. For the record, there's nobody else who I could talk to like this. I'm grateful everyday that we'll be 'fumbling' through this together." He lifted her chin with his thumb as he gently rubbed the side of her face with his fingers. "So now you know everything."

She knew this wasn't easy on him. "I do…and I love you even more if that's possible."

He moved closer and gently placed his lips upon hers. He couldn't help what felt natural to him anymore, but he didn't have time to ponder that. At least, they had the place right; it was just the 'time' that was way, way off. For just a moment, he was glad for the distraction that she offered from his job, so very glad. His hands moved until they guided her down on the bed and carefully propped himself up on top of her. He wanted these few stolen moments even if technically, they were still on 'Garden time.' They owed him much more than this small break, he figured.

Even though it couldn't go much further, it didn't mean they couldn't at least lose themselves for a little bit. Their kisses deepened as his hands roamed rather freely around her body. He had been getting more courageous over the last months. After a minute, or two… _or five_ , he finally broke their connection propping himself on his elbows above her.

"Best break ever." She smiled up at him.

He let out a small laugh before giving her a few more kisses on the lips. They lingered a little bit longer before he rolled over onto his side. They were both laying on the bed, sharing his pillow, his arms still firmly holding her.

She traced his jaw line with her finger as she finally brought this encounter full circle. "So, you never answered me – do you think you're going to the wedding?"

"Perhaps… I did leave things badly. It wouldn't be the time or place to say anything, but maybe just going would be a peace offering."

He remembered Irvine's words of warning – _never take a female to a wedding_ , but then just as quickly, he realized that he didn't care. There were worse things in the world than sitting through a small ceremony and they had already faced a plethora of them.

"So, you doing anything October? Feel like meeting my old roommate?"

"I'd be honored to. I'm pretty sure my entire month's free. Strangely, my social calendar is not abuzz like one would think…"

"Then we'll do this together. Please, just don't back out on me. Honestly, I'm not sure how well I'd do floundering on my own. It's not like I've ever been to one of these things before."

"You what? You've never been to a wedding? Are you serious?"

"Shockingly, my social calendar wasn't 'abuzz' before becoming commander either…not like my name was synonymous for being the life of the party."

He wished again that he could have returned the favor and accompanied her to Deling City. Somehow things often revolved around him taking steps forward and opening up, when honestly, she needed just as much encouragement at times.

"Rin, just think about going to the party with your father. I know it isn't what you want and I wish I could really be there, but maybe it would be the start to your own peace offering. You could take Selphie or Quistis or something, there's no rule that says it has to be me. Your friends are there for you too."

"I just can't." Rinoa looked down at his bedspread avoiding his gaze. "Squall, I wish I could find the strength to face him. Not yet...and not without you. I know the others would be there for me in an instant, but it just wouldn't be the same. As you said, some things don't magically happen. I need time."

She sat into an upright position and Squall quickly followed her lead. With a wistful smile, she reached down and grabbed a pen from her purse. Shaking her head, she hesitated. Why was marking this invitation so hard when the answer seemed so simple to her?

Pushing all doubt from her mind, Rinoa checked the box which offered her condolences. She could face her father another time, at another event, with her knight by her side. Turning to Squall, she handed him the pen. He didn't verbally acknowledge anything only accepted the object. Then he silently reached over and grabbed his own invitation from the nightstand.

As he checked the box, he thought nobody would be more surprised at his response than his former roommate. This was a step into his past – a step that he was glad he was making.

* * *

_June 9_ _th_ _– 11:58 am (two years prior – Deling Train Station) _

" _Miss, I hate to bother you, but do you happen to know if there's an ATM around?"_

_The voice startled Rinoa out of her trance. Surprised, she looked up from the book that she had been reading. She was so lost in its pages that she hadn't noticed when the young man took the seat on the bench next to her. Closing the book, she offered a friendly smile trying to recall if she had seen a machine around in working condition. It wasn't like she spent much time in the Deling City train station. Since moving to Timber a few months ago, she actually tried to avoid this city as much as possible._

" _Um, I'm not really sure, I know they have one upstairs but pretty sure it's been out of order for some time. I think that you'd have to leave the station and head a few blocks east to find one that actually works."_

" _Perfect," the young man said leaning back on the bench. "Do you ever have that feeling that all the laws of nature and the universe are conspiring against you?"_

" _Pretty much every day," Rinoa laughed._

_She looked at him; he seemed to be having the kind of day that mirrored her life. Why she even came back to this damned city was beyond her. It was either stubborn pride or obstinate hope or a combination of both that brought her back. Sometimes she and Caraway were more alike than either of them care to admit._

_Today's earlier round of arguing with her father proved just as futile as every other bout over the last sixteen years. Since her day was already beyond repair, maybe she could do something to help this guy. Rinoa figured at least somebody's day shouldn't suck as much as hers._

_She honestly doubted that she could do much for the poor guy. The few Gil she had borrowed from Zone and Watts were almost gone. So in the money department, she was severely lacking. Maybe he just needed someone to vent his frustrations with, even talking to a stranger was better than suffering alone._

" _Is there anything I can do? You really do look like you're having a bad day."_

" _I wish you could help, but unless you have a way of getting me to Balamb by this evening, I think I'm on my own. Apparently, it is my destiny to spend the rest of my natural life waiting at train station."_

" _Sorry," she apologized, feeling sincerely bad for him. "Trust me, if I had an airplane or spaceship or something it would be yours to use…this waiting around to board thing is getting old. Hopefully next year I'll be driving. Then again, getting money to buy a car is half that battle. So basically, I'll probably be destined to take these trains for eternity."_

" _A space ship would be nice," he agreed, "but you know how badly those depreciate in value. Once you launch it off the lot, the resale value goes down by at least fifty percent."_

_The young woman laughed as she extended her hand, "By the way, I'm Rinoa… figured the least I could do was introduce myself, as apparently, we're both going to grow old sitting here. Not to mention, I'm totally bored to death and for some godforsaken reason, I picked up a stupid romance novel at the gift shop… ugh, it's so cheesy. It's not like this stuff ever happens in real life."_

_He took her hand with a smile. Wimbledon would have given her his first name, but he had always despised it with a passion, so he opted to introduce himself by his nickname, the one that wasn't a derivative of his first name. It was something that a few of the other kids called him when he first entered Garden; somehow they had his last name of 'Donner' misspelled on the attendance form, the typo stuck._

" _My friends call me Donney. And you never know, maybe you'll get your own spaceship and find your own version of a romance novel one day. It's not like we can predict the future."_

_She smiled. "That's true, sometimes I just need to remember that."_

_He sighed as he looked at the timetables posted on a nearby board. "At this rate, you'll probably have a better chance of getting those things than me getting back to Garden tonight."_

" _Oh, you attend Garden… guess that makes sense why you're headed to Balamb. I bet living there is… fun."_

_Rinoa couldn't hide the sarcasm in her voice; she didn't exactly have the highest opinion of anything related to organized military. Her father had irritated her enough today. Right now, she wanted to get as far away from this city as humanly possible or at least back to Timber, that would be close enough for now. She had people who cared for her there._

_Wimbly scratched the back of his head. He didn't know if he had hit a nerve. It wasn't a secret that many people didn't like Garden. Honestly, he wasn't thrilled with with either._

" _Trust me, Garden's not the nonstop barrel of monkey-fun one would think. If I wasn't in charge of planning all the parties there, I think I would have dropped out a few semesters ago...which sadly, was one of the main reasons I wanted so desperately to get back tonight. It's the yearly ball for the graduating SeeDs. My girlfriend was so disappointed when I was going to be away. It would have been an awesome surprise to walk in that ballroom tonight. The whole thing kinda means a lot to us."_

" _Ahh, that's so sweet. I'm so sorry I can't help. But see, at least one of us could still end up in that romance novel…maybe the fact you tried so much will mean something to her. I know how I would feel."_

_She paused as a thought occurred to her. "Wait, are you saying that you planned this party tonight and won't even be there? That would be absolutely horrible."_

" _It does suck. I'm getting so tired of the shit there, between my idiot roommate and the ridiculous course load… Trust me, I spend way too much time planning these parties and hanging out with my girlfriend. I have a hard time with pretty much everything else."_

" _I bet the parties there are really something to see… and I know you must do an amazing job. Are you sure there's not any chance of getting back in time?"_

" _No, the only train to Timber that has tickets available leaves Deling at five. The one that leaves in forty-five minutes is sold out. I tried, trust me, I tried. I need the early train to make the connecting one to Balamb. I already tried to get on the standby list, however, that also is apparently full. What is there to do in Timber anyhow? It's a nice place, but apparently everyone and their mother's-brother's-second-cousin-twice-removed wants to be there this weekend."_

_Rinoa giggled. That was an expression she hadn't heard before and truthfully didn't exactly understand. "I'm not sure about the mother's-cousin thing, but I do know for a fact that this is the weekend Timber Maniacs have their annual writing conference. It's a chance for those politicians to play nice with the press - things in that respect are getting kind of bad around these parts."_

_Rinoa glanced down on the cover of the book in her lap. It really was a tackily painted picture, but at least they looked happy... Maybe her life would never be based off a novel, but maybe she could make somebody else's fairytale ending come true – or at least give it a push in the right direction._

" _Um, you said it would make a difference if you could get on the earlier train?"_

" _Yeah, they still have plenty of seats on the four o'clock train to Balamb. I mean that's the connecting train I need to get back to Garden. It's just getting to Timber that's impossible – getting out, not so hard. I'd get to Garden a little after nine. The party really doesn't start til then, it's when the live band shows up… before that it's all pomp, circumstance, and politics. I'd just have to run quickly to my room and change into my uniform. Luckily, I don't need much time to get ready besides the clothes."_

_Rinoa smiled. There was just something that felt so right about this. "You know, it's not like I have anything to do tonight… So, um, would you be interested in swapping tickets? I just so happen to be on the one o'clock train to Timber."_

" _Are you serious?" He had not expected this as rarely had things in his life worked out this way. Someone was literally offering him the chance to get home early, to see his girlfriend, to go to his party._

" _Very serious. I wouldn't have said I if I didn't mean it. Plus, you know, gives me more time to sit here and read this book. Who knows, maybe it gets better as it goes on…right now the main hero just isn't much of a hero, he's rather annoying."_

" _Thank you, thank you, thank you! I don't know how I can ever repay you for this, I've been gone nearly three weeks she'll be so surprised. Promise me if you're ever in Balamb you'll look me up. Hey, I could always set you up with my roommate. We could all go on a double date."_

" _Wait, I thought you said he was an idiot?"_

" _Well, idiot may be a little misleading…but it's pretty damn close. Don't worry, I doubt that he'd go out with you anyhow. The fact that you are both female and have the ability to speak would probably scare him."_

" _Ah, got it... Well, as long as he's happy."_

" _Him, happy? You don't realize what an oxymoron that statement is. I guess I should say the guy dislikes people in general."_

" _Ha, maybe he can give this guy in my book a run for his money, but either way, I think I'll pass." Rinoa laughed, his roommate certainly sounded like everything she always tried to avoid. "Just promise me you'll have fun tonight."_

" _I will. Promise. Again, thank you… you don't know how much this means to me. There is just something so romantic about these formal dances. You know… it's also where I met my girlfriend two years ago. No kidding, I saw her at the punch bowl and honestly thought, 'there's the girl I'm going to marry.' Suppose that sounds just as cheesy as your story."_

_Wimbly laughed, he honestly had no idea why he said that to her, she probably thought he was nuts and maybe he was._

" _No, that's possibly the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Rinoa said as she handed this near-stranger her ticket. "Take this, get to your dance, and then at least one of us gets their happy ending."_


	12. Latent Image

_July 18_ _th_ _ 7:45pm   
_

Rinoa glanced down to the humongous box that Selphie had resting near her feet. The duo had been standing in the customer service line nearly ten minutes but already the sorceress felt as if half of the evening had been wasted. Here it was Friday night and what was she doing? She was at a department store while her friend was patiently waiting to exchange a birthday gift.

When Selphie damn well literally skipped into the office at lunch, asking Rinoa if she wanted to share a 'fun girl's night out in Balamb,' this was never the scenario she had envisioned. Maybe that was a little short sighted on her part, because who was she to define 'fun' for everybody? To some, standing in line at Balamb's largest retail establishment _was_ the epitome of pure entertainment – current company apparently included in that group.

With the enthusiasm to which Selphie bounded into the store, large box in hand, one would think she had just won the lottery. Who knew that getting store credit was free reign on an evening's worth of excitement?

…Certainly not Rinoa.

Then again, nobody else she knew had the zest and enthusiasm for all the simple things in life quite like Selphie. Most people would be irritated with the ridiculously slow service, but not Selphie; she always found a way to turn the negative into a positive.

As the two managed a few steps closer, they were within reach of a 'closeout' book bin to which Selphie had anxiously wanted to peruse. She eagerly started flipping through books with the normal exhilaration that was Selphie. Rinoa started looking herself, but that was more out of boredom rather than actual interest, although she loved to read this truly was the furthest thing from her mind right now.

Selphie beamed excitedly as she held up a book. "Oooh, I could so use this, ' _The Do's and Don'ts of Napkin Folding.'_ I bet the ideas in here would be great! If I get this, I so could have you guys over for dinner. Imagine how fun it would be – we could do 'the formal thing' and dress up… maybe we could even get the guys in tuxes."

Rinoa shook her head doubtfully. She couldn't imagine getting Squall to dress up needlessly, let alone in the name of _fun_. The commander barely wanted to be in his formal uniform when it was a Garden requirement. There was little doubt that Squall would never willingly wear, as Zell so 'uniquely' proclaimed once at a post-Ultimecia event, a penguin suit. Nobody wanted to tell the martial artist that he wasn't the first to coin that phrase but the group allowed him that minor victory.

"Selphie, wasn't folding those thousand cranes enough for you? I _still_ have paper cuts from Cid and Edea's anniversary party."

"You had fun, Rin, just admit it. Plus, I taught you a 'life-skill' that I'm sure will be useful later on," Selphie mused as she flipped through the pages. "Oh wow, look at all these designs! This is awesome."

Rinoa moved the book enough in Selphie's hands so she could read the cover. "There's a typo in the title. I wouldn't take that as a good sign. _The_ _Do's_ _and Don'ts of Napkin Folding_?"

"Wait, are you sure? I mean is there supposed to be an apostrophe in there or not? You know what…never mind, if _it is_ wrong then that's even better! That makes it a collector's item…now I _have_ to buy it!"

Yep, Selphie really could find the positive in everything. Rinoa really admired that quality in her friend but also slightly feared it. There was no point in arguing, as once Selphie made up her mind it was set in stone. Rinoa also feared that no matter her earlier objections she and Squall would soon be invited over to Selphie's for a formal dinner.

After another few minutes, they were finally the next in line. Sadly, Rinoa couldn't remember being this excited over something so mundane in a long time. While, Selphie had been looking at her book Rinoa found herself staring the picture on the box at her friend's feet. She suddenly had to question their reason being there in the first place.

"Why are you exchanging the gift anyhow? Seems like a food processor with bonus garnishing kit is right up your alley, plus you know, with the upcoming formal dinner party and all." The last part was said sarcastically, although the tone went unnoticed.

"Oh, this _is_ right up my alley. I love the _Pross-O-Matic 9000_. It was at the top of my birthday wish list. Unfortunately, because of that, I ended up with a few… I have one I'm using now, then I stored one at Irvine's just-in-case… but I thought having a third one may be a little overkill. Plus next fiscal quarter, the 9500 model come out. I've already pre-ordered on-line. Not only does the new one come with the carving templates to make rose radishes, it comes with the directions on how to make apple-swans!"

"…I am not carving a thousand of those. Do not even think about it. At all."

Selphie laughed. "That would be crazy. Don't worry… you'd be making the carrot and pepper palm trees. Love you and all, but I don't think you could handle apple swans."

Shaking her head, Rinoa was at a loss for words, which was probably a good thing seeing as it was their turn at the counter. A few minutes later, Selphie walked away from the desk with her in-store credit. Now it was only going to take a slight miracle to get them out before closing.

Much to Rinoa's chagrin Selphie seemed stuck on the dinner idea. After they managed to get waited on and get store credit, Selphie decided to buy some items for the upcoming _occasion_ : formal linens, candle holders, and even an oversized stuffed Cactuar doll – okay not all items revolved around the dinner. After another small eternity, they now had made it to the front checkout and once again found themselves waiting.

As per her normal curiosity, Selphie started looking at the magazines and the candy by the check out. That is why they put it there, right? Rinoa hadn't been paying attention; instead, she seemed to be focused on the watching as the line inched forward.

"Oh, I wonder if they have that new gum?" Selphie asked aloud. "I hear the flavor last for like five days. Can you imagine?"

"No…how could you possibly chew the same piece for five days or _want to_ even? That's just…weird."

"It's not that _weird_ … come on, you gotta try it. I'll even buy you a pack and then you tell me just how-" Selphie stopped midsentence as her eyes happened across the latest issue of Timber Maniacs. It was then that the horror kicked in, "Oh My God!"

"What they tragically out?" Rinoa asked still thinking about the gum.

"Um, you've got to see this!" Selphie exclaimed but quickly realized her mistake.

"No, wait I mean you don't have to see this!" she corrected, tossing all her items on the conveyer belt, which earned her a disgusted look from the customer respectfully in front of her. "Yeah, I meant you've got to see _out the window_ … Balamb's really beautiful this time of year, huh?"

"You are terrible at changing the subject… You really think I'm going to fall for this?"

"You know, let's just say _yes_ so we can skip ahead," Selphie pleaded. "So Balamb…beautiful, right?"

"Okay, so whatever you don't want me to see is by the gum. Got it."

"No, there's nothing by the gum besides more gum! I mean, look outside – it's _beaut-i-ful._ I just saw a bird fly by! I think it's a seagull even!"

"Selphie, we're by the ocean, they're everywhere."

Selphie jumped in front of her friend trying to hide the rack across from the checkout. She pointed outside, hopefully to distract her friend although it seemed to be failing greatly. One thing one could say about Selphie is that she never gave up hope - even on a sinking ship surrounded by bloodthirsty sharks.

"Fine," Selphie sighed, acting as if she had been defeated. Turning around, she grabbed a random newspaper and handed it to her friend. "Don't say I didn't warn you. It's rather disturbing imagery."

Rinoa reluctantly accepted the paper, reading the front page. "Deling City Matriarch weds for 12th time?" Rinoa looked up wondering what her friend was trying to pullover - that wasn't too scary. Of course, that was until she read the next line, "Maude McCay, 72, weds pool boy, 21, at local country club – the couple states, 'It was our love of cats that brought us together – we are a 'purr-fect' match.'"

The sorceress handed the paper back to Selphie. "Okay, that was rather nauseating, but I still doubt this was what you wanted me to see."

"It is!" Selphie tried to defend emphatically. "I mean twelve times? How would you even remember what your last name currently is? Could be real embarrassing, I tell you."

"I have a headache," Rinoa mumbled placing her hand on her forehead.

Why couldn't her life just ever be simple? She closed her eyes, taking a breath, and then decided her choices were either going to be listening to Selphie go on about seagulls and pool boys or try to reason with her. The latter was the better idea, although the former would have been the sane choice on Rinoa's part.

"Okay Selphie, let's look at this logically." The sorceress held up her hand putting a single finger. "One: I _know_ there's something, besides that article, that you don't want me to see."

She lifted another finger. "Two: more than likely, good or bad, I'm going to find out anyhow."

Rinoa continued raising a finger with each point she made.

"Three: do you want me finding this 'oh-so-horrifying' thing from someone else or from a friend? Four: I _really_ do have a headache. Five: I've had a horrible week already – Squall lectured me about using a 'float' spell for inappropriate purposes and breaking Garden's regulations, but damn it, I'm short and the book was high up!"

Rinoa realized, to her annoyance, that she needed to hold up a second hand. "Six: did I mention I have a headache? Seven: my night mainly consisted of standing in a customer service line… Are you going to stop me anytime soon and just tell me what's up?"

"I was actually enjoying your counting. I wanted to see how high you'd go! Plus, it was giving me time to figure out on a Rinoa scale of 1 to 10 just how major this would be."

"It will be off the 'Rinoa charts' if I have to actually keep going. So let's just have it."

Selphie sighed in defeat. "Fine, maybe it'll be no big deal…but I have a feeling we need to step out of line for this."

"…Great, eight, nine, and ten: I hate waiting in line. This better be good…or bad, or something worth getting out of line for."

Selphie shielded Rinoa's line of sight as she ushered her to the side. The sorceress stood, still highly irritated, as her friend turned around and grabbed something from the shelf. At that point, Rinoa could tell that she had a magazine rolled in her hand. This honestly better be something more important than a cougar from Deling.

Selphie nervously shifted her weight as she finally came out and said it. "Well, Rin…according to Timber Maniacs you are currently dating the 'World's Sexiest Bachelor.' Um…surprise?"

Selphie unrolled the magazine placing it into Rinoa's hand. "I mean, Rin it's not that bad, look at Squall's picture on the cover! It's amazing!"

"He's…not wearing a shirt," Rinoa mumbled horrified at the image of her boyfriend, _shirtless,_ for the entire world to see.

"I know - that's _why_ I said it was amazing. I mean just look at those abs. I mean he could-" Selphie stopped abruptly when Rinoa shot Selphie a warning glare, apparently that was a 'life-skill' that she had inadvertently picked up from Squall. "Oh right, right…sorry, just kinda got caught up in the moment."

Rinoa looked at the picture closer; there was something familiar about it. The beach in the background, this is where they would drive to practice her magic. It seems that they weren't alone one day.

"I'm going to be sick," breathed Rinoa leaning against the wall.

"Not the reaction I'm sure he's going for but-"

"Selphie, I'm serious. Do you know how much he's going to hate this? How this means someone might have followed us? Not to mention that every female in the entire world has seen as much of my boyfriend's body as I have? There are probably women drooling over this cover right now!"

"And guys, don't forget a few guys out there." Selphie realized that even though she was attempting to lighten the mood, her friend was taking this rather hard. "Eeep, sorry…um hate to ask after all this, but is there anything on the inside?"

"Yeah, I'm sure there is… I need to find out."

Rinoa looked at her cell phone for the time. She then scanned the department store and noticed a few people were already shooting them strange glances. Not surprising, considering Selphie's unique reaction and Rinoa really didn't want to draw more attention to the situation. "Come on, let's just get back in line and get out of here."

"You going to buy it?" Curiosity was killing the Selphie.

The sorceress looked into the printed eyes of her boyfriend. "Yeah, I need to know."

A few minutes later the two were back at the truck Selphie had borrowed from Irvine. The SeeD realized that returning the gift while carrying her friend on her motorcycle would defy the laws of gravity.

Rinoa started to flip through the magazine, but became too nervous all of a sudden. She handed it off to her friend. "Here, you find it."

Selphie started leafing through the magazine until she suddenly stopped at a page.

"Hey! Look, Irvine made the list too…he's number seventy-eight!" Selphie couldn't hide the glee in her voice until she kept reading down the list. "Oh-rotten-fried-Chocobo eggs…this _isn't_ good, not good at all."

"What?" Rinoa asked still too stunned from elaborating further.

"Zell…he's number forty-seven. That's like _thirty some_ places higher than Irvine. And it gets worse, so much worse... Chef Carl is number twenty-one. Apparently, he really is a world-renown chef, still makes you wonder what the heck he's doing at Garden. I'm not going to complain though – it never hurts to have number twenty-one serving you breakfast."

For the first time in a few minutes, Rinoa let out a laugh at that realization. She finally wiped the tears from her eyes. "God, I needed that. Those guys are going to be crushed, just crushed."

"Well, then I don't know then if I want to tell you this either… I mean if it will make you laugh or cry." Selphie spoke in a high staccato voice nervous to say this out loud. "Your-father-is-number-ninety-nine."

"Oh my God! Who votes on these things?" Rinoa couldn't help but laugh, seriously, her father? "I mean are they totally senile or blind or already on the prowl for their 13th husband?"

"Well, maybe there's a market for mature salt-and-pepper haired men with power? I mean, toss in his dress uniform and I can see the hotness."

"I really am going to be physically sick now," Rinoa said although it didn't quite hold the weight as last time. The more she heard about the list the most absurd it sounded.

"Well, I was saving this one for last, Laguna Loire is number five."

"Five!" Rinoa said shaking her head.

"Well, I suppose hotness begets hotness? They are father and son."

"Now I'm wondering how well Squall will take that too… it can't be good."

"Yeah, _that_ can't be good but, at least, he was rated higher than his dad… What about me? I have to go calm Irvine down after he finds out that Zell, Squall, Squall's dad, and the guy making his stuffed éclairs are all sexier than him. That's going to be a huge blow to his ego. I mean mega huge."

"I suppose we should head back to Garden. If these things are hitting the stand now… I'm sure the guys will hear about it soon enough. We should be there to clear up the dust as it could get ugly between a few of them."

"What are you worried about you're dating number one! Me, I get mister 'thinks he's number one but actually closer to eighty.' It's going to be a long, long night."

Selphie was still flipping through the pages until Rinoa could hear her chuckling.

"What, what is it now?" She said exasperated. Honestly, she didn't know how much more of this she could take.

"It's just," Selphie began but stopped handing the magazine to Rinoa. "I can't. I think you have to read the 'article' for yourself. It's right there next to Squall's picture on page 47. The positive thing though, he's wearing all his clothes for this one. It's definitely an official Garden picture, he's in full SeeD uniform."

Rinoa took the magazine from her friend and started reading the article.

_Squall Leonhart: he's sexy, he's powerful, and he's our most eligible bachelor! Balamb's hottest hunk has now been exposed to the rest of the world and women, he's available! Just take one look and there's no doubt why he's head and shoulders (and chest and abs) above the rest of this year's class. He looks great in uniform and even better without one - this is one hard body we are eagerly awaiting to see more of._

_So if you're in Balamb and in search of a little military discipline, you may be standing in line awhile to get this man's number but, as we can attest (more like a-chest), it will be worth the wait (and waist) Squall Leonhart can command us anytime!_

Apparently journalism had hit a new low.

Rinoa sat horrified. This had to be the world's worst joke. "Do you think he knows yet?"

Selphie shrugged. "I don't know… he could? Maybe he looked outside his office and saw the women standing in line to get his phone number…and apparently some discipline."

"Did you really have to go there?" Rinoa slumped back into the seat.

"Yes, yes I did, Rin...I pretty much had to. It'll be fine. In ten years you two will look back at this and laugh…think of the stories for your children."

Selphie had been trying to keep her laughter contained out of respect to her friend. However, even friendship had its boundaries. She finally doubled over hysterically, "Hard body…who comes up with this crap?"

Rinoa hated to admit, one of the parts bothering her the most was the blatant context of the wording. The whole 'bachelor' status didn't affect Selphie, but Rinoa somehow felt differently. She couldn't deny that lingering insecurity remained and having him paraded around as single and 'available' was upsetting.

It shouldn't have bothered her; this was about _him_ not her. Although by true definition, he was a bachelor - just a damn bachelor with a girlfriend. Maybe Selphie was right and this would be a great story to reminisce about one day; she could only hope.

"I hope you're right." Rinoa had to admit there was a morose humor in it. "Maybe we'll be able to laugh at. At least I can say the writing's a damn joke."

The amount of journalistic drivel trying to pass as news was also very cringe-worthy. If the Timber Maniacs ever wanted to be treated as viable news source double entendres and bad puns weren't the way to journalistic acclaim.

Selphie glanced over, smiling to her friend. "Oh, the writing certainly is 'something.' I can _a-chest_ to that fact."

Rinoa rolled her eyes as they started to pull out of the parking space, but just as quickly, her friend changed gears and pulled forward. Parking again, Selphie jumped out of the truck.

"What are you doing now?"

"Be right back!" Selphie smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry, but I need to go buy my own copy…or two. That thing is going to be a collector's item. If I wait any longer, I'll be paying triple on-line!"

* * *

The commander could honestly say it felt as if he had never left his office. The only physical indicator of his absence was the even _larger_ stack of paperwork clogging his desk. Then again, it wasn't as if had been idly sitting back over the last weeks mindlessly playing computer solitaire. The amount of work never changed for him - only the view surrounding it.

He had been so entranced that he hadn't even noticed the figure standing at his door. That was nothing new, he often felt himself in a rather hypnotic state as he focused on work.

Rinoa smiled at him with her head against the doorframe. She had watched him for a few seconds wondering if he would either notice, or perhaps even sense, her presence. When he hadn't, she went ahead and announced her arrival.

Playfully she said, _"_ Well, this looks… _normal."_

He felt himself tense up, although his body never betrayed that fact. Outwardly, he looked unfazed by the voice, internally he was rather startled. He had just been so overwhelmed with all the things he couldn't do down in his apartment, plus all those little things that Cid believed could wait until later. Truthfully, the last thing he needed right now was a disruption. He was always glad to see her, but right now, he still considered this part of his work day – albeit a very long and strenuous one. And honestly, she could be rather distracting although he didn't always like to admit that fact to himself.

"Rinoa, I don't want to come across as rude, because I'm honestly not trying to be, but I just need to catch up on so much." Although his expression was softer than normal, it certainly wasn't anywhere near a smile. "Even though I wasn't _away from_ work in certain aspects, I really was on others… It's already after eight o'clock and if I ever want to get any sleep tonight, I need to keep working. I hope you understand."

"I do." She tried to smile although she couldn't deny that was slightly hurt.

He let out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding. "…But if it's something you need to really talk about, I'll listen."

It might have been an afterthought in the moment but, at least, he said it.

She held the magazine behind her back. Part of her wanted to tell him but, seeing him there she realized that her timing could not have been worse. He would find out eventually. It appeared that he didn't exactly need that drama stacked onto his already high pile. It wouldn't hurt to wait until later. Sadly, he was still going to be the world's sexiest bachelor tomorrow – might as well allow him this night to work in peace.

Just as with the invitation, Rinoa had to learn to pick and chose her battles. In the scheme of their relationship, this really wasn't a major one. If anything, this was more a matter of pride, or truth be told, again it was a matter of insecurity. He had proved time and again why she should _not_ feel this way; his suspension was chief among all the evidence she needed.

"…Um no, just got back from Balamb…guess I'm heading to my room. So yeah...it wouldn't hurt me get to bed early, maybe catch up on a book." She momentarily hesitated; she should just turn around and leave - he would find out. Hell, maybe some young cadet would show up at his office tonight looking to be disciplined.

" _Damn it,"_ she growled under her breath.

"What?" he asked harshly. Even though it was stated in a questioning intonation, it certainly wasn't. Rinoa could almost peal back the layers in his voice to hear the warning.

Slowly, he set his pen down half in shock and leaned back into his chair watching her intently.

Rinoa hated her stupid indecisiveness but, more than that, she hated that the ridiculously stupid thought even crossed her mind. She partially blamed that stupid magazine for printing such idiocy and partially blamed her own self doubts. When over the last year did he ever give her any reason to feel this way? Even before they were officially a couple he had been loyal to her, faults and all.

Of course, Rinoa had neglected to gauge his reaction to her accidental comment. Which again, wasn't directed at him, but how else would any normal person take it?

"I-uh," she began hesitantly, trying to backtrack quickly in her mind. That had not meant to be said to anybody but herself; it was quite apparent that he had been less than thrilled with the comment.

"You know, I didn't mean to say that out loud. And believe it or not, it was directed at myself not you."

She sighed gripping the rolled magazine in her hand. To some extent, she honestly felt as if she shouldn't have to explain herself…every second of her life. Then again, if he had responded to her in that fashion she would sure as hell question it too.

The inner battle was lost or rather decided for her. Walking over, she tossed the magazine onto his desk. "I just thought you'd like to see this."

He glanced down for only a second before his stern gaze returned to her. They held each other's eyes for a second, until a moment of clarity (or pure horror) on Squall's part. He had been so focused on his irritation with her that he hadn't truly looked at the magazine cover. It was either that or his mind hadn't registered the image until then.

Quickly he looked back down, surrendering in their impromptu staring contest. She watched in slight amusement at his shock. Again, hers probably wasn't the correct reaction, but she couldn't deny the small victory – her earlier comment would basically be all but forgotten.

He had to do a double take, or triple take, or however many 'takes' it took him to believe what his eyes were seeing. The commander had remained abnormally silent, which was saying a lot in the given situation. At this point, he hadn't even opened it up; he was just silently scrutinizing the cover.

"Page 47, if you want to read more," Rinoa sighed when he still hadn't looked up, "…or not."

She didn't exactly understand herself but, between his lack of reaction, plus his earlier verbal response, she really didn't feel like sticking around.

Squall could be moody – that fact was pretty much a definite in her book. His reaction could basically go in any direction.

For his part, all Squall could do was stare at the magazine's cover. It had already been a trying day and this pretty much was the final straw.

"By the way," her voice had a tint of uncharacteristic sadness to it, "it's well beyond 8:30… it's after 11:00. I guess…I just thought you should find about the magazine from one of us. Again, sorry to bother you."

It suddenly occurred to him that he had been taking out his aggravation and stress over work out on her. It wasn't a conscious choice but, sometimes he just reverted back into old habits. She should know as much as anyone that it wasn't always easy to change lifelong patterns. The fact is – he was slowly become more aware of his actions; unfortunately, it sometimes just took time to register.

"Rinoa, I'm-" As he looked up, he stopped speaking.

She had already gone.

He didn't know who he was more irritated at – himself or her. This was all new to him and just as he would take two steps forward in their relationship, he would find a way to subconsciously take a giant leap back. On the other hand, she usually seemed to be more tolerant whereas this time, she just walked out without saying goodnight.

It was almost ironic that the only words that his only response was, "Damn it."

It had been nearly twenty minutes since she had left and he could no longer seem to concentrate. He might as well give up on work at this point, he was completely useless. Turning off his computer, he reached over to grab the magazine. He had been irritated enough about the picture on the cover; he felt as if a huge violation of his privacy had been publically put on display.

When curiosity finally got the better of him, he decided to see exactly what was printed on page 47 that warranted her earlier reaction – and God help him, he really wished he hadn't. As he read the caption printed next his name, he fought a sudden surge to do physical violence. Normally, this would be the point he would grab his gunblade and take his frustration out on whatever the hell was stupid enough to cross his path in the Training Center.

Feeling his fists clinch in anger, he could only imagine that this had already made its way around Garden. He had already tired of the rumors that seemed to be the daily norm; this shit would only give people plenty more fodder. Before he was a SeeD people would talk but, after he became Commander, it seemed that he was public property. He never even dared to venture on to Garden Square. He had heard his friends talk about things in the chatrooms and if even a quarter of what they said was true, he would most likely end up suspending every student in the building on principle. Who the hell would want to write stories about him anyhow or speculate on his love life? It made him sick to think about.

"So, am I the first in line?" A female voice questioned from the doorway.

He looked up half shocked to see Quistis standing there. She took a few steps in as he tossed the magazine to the side.

"Not funny," he shot back. The commander shook his head in disgust as if to warn her 'not to go there,' but as everyone else in his life lately, she seemed to be oblivious of his warning.

Moving forward she sat down and admitted, "No, I suppose not, but I couldn't let it slide. I also could mention that military discipline, most often than not around here, is filling out an ungodly amount of paperwork or for students doing ridiculously long essays. Never underestimate the power of carpel tunnel or paper cuts."

"I doubt that's what that reporter, and I use that term _loosely_ , had in mind," the commander stated vehemently, "but what the hell else can I expect from a magazine that considered Laguna a qualified reporter."

She smiled, unshaken by his comments. "Do I sense some bitterness that Mr. Loire even made the list?"

"He _what_?" Squall questioned in disbelief.

He hadn't bothered leafing through the other pages; he hadn't given a damn.

"I won't ruin the suspense if you didn't know. I just had to drop off some papers for the headmaster that are due first thing… I saw your light on and wanted to stop by… See how you were handling this, how Rinoa was taking it."

"It's ridiculous," he stated angrily. "I'm sure Rinoa can find the humor in it, but I sure as hell can't."

"Really? That surprises me. I thought she'd be more upset."

"Why would she be upset? It isn't her picture plastered all over for people to see."

"Squall, I think you're missing one of the key points. I know it was your picture and I'm totally in agreement that you should be upset, but did you read the article?"

"If _that shit_ is an 'article' I weep for civilization."

"Squall, it doesn't matter what it was, it doesn't negate the words on there."

"Look, if she sent you up here because I seemed angry earlier, well... I'm really trying here, but it seems no matter what I do it ends up wrong. Two steps forward, one step back every damn time."

"Rinoa never sent me anywhere…I haven't even seen her. Selphie stopped by my room earlier to… um, drop off my copy of the magazine. That's how I knew. Since then, about ten other people have felt the need to point it out. I know it's your picture on there, but think about the very nature of it…the hundred sexiest bachelors in the world?"

Squall sat back silently noting how she had returned into her 'instructor mode' with her arms folded. He had seen this a hundred times and usually hardly paid attention to the words she was saying, however, this wasn't a classroom and she wasn't talking about an assignment.

"Sure, we know that you and Rinoa are a couple, you know that you're a couple, but in print, it pretty much is stating that you're fair game to anyone willing to stand in line. It may not be logical to you, but there's a chance that Rinoa may look at this a little differently."

"Why? She knows how I feel and where I stand. I just don't think my personal life is any of the world's business…or yours for that matter."

Quistis stood up knowing this was proving futile. "Yes, I get that. Honestly, I'm the last person in the world that should be giving you advice relationship or otherwise…. I'm just thinking how I might feel. You know, maybe I'm way off base here. For just a second, I'm asking you to reverse the situation. Imagine her in some bathing suit or something on the cover saying basically, 'here guys, she's available.' In some ways it's probably flattering to her but, in another, having every woman thinking you're available might be rather intimidating."

"This whole thing is completely ridiculous."

"Yes, maybe it is," the instructor agreed. "I was just stopping by anyhow…glad to have you back up here."

After Quistis walked out, he felt less sure of everything. He had already felt guilty about inadvertently snapping at her. Never once did he stop to think about Rinoa's feelings. It simply wasn't natural for him to look at things, like this, from more than one perspective.

He grumbled to himself as he looked at the clock. Truthfully, this was probably the last thing he needed as far as 'fodder' went. He still had to keep some things controlled. If he went to her room, half of Garden's population might see him on that floor – alright given the time that was most likely a gross exaggeration. His place was much more isolated beside a few instructors with tenure.

It really didn't matter though; he was positive that by morning enough rumors would have spread to fill an entire issue of Timber Maniacs.

So much for life becoming easier once his suspension was 'officially' lifted. He reached for the phone dialing a familiar number. It didn't take long for to her answer.

"Hello?"

"You still awake?" he asked casually.

"No, I'm sleeping. Sorry." She responded simply, before giving in. "Yes, yes I am."

He always thought that her attempts to sound upset were rather cute, again not something he would outwardly mention. He remembered the last time she tried this before the graduation party.

"It's 11:45, we have fifteen minutes to curfew. Can you meet me at my place?"

"Your place?" She questioned truly shocked.

Granted she really wasn't covered under the student's curfew, but it was an unspoken understanding that she would follow the guidelines as much as possible.

He paused for a second, looking over at the clock on his desk. "Got to go…meet you there in ten."


	13. Vis-à-Vis

-o-o-o-

_**Vis-à-Vis**_ _:_ [ˈvēz-ə-ˈvē, ˌvēs] - _French_  
(-adverb, -adjective.) face to face;  
(-preposition) in relationship to; compared with;  
(-noun) a person face to face with or situated opposite to another;

-o-o-o-

_ July 19 _ _ th _ _ 12:01am _

The commander walked down the corridor towards his apartment. In his hands he carried a large paper bag, two cups, and the rolled up edition of Timber Maniacs. Because of time constraints, he had to move quickly after calling Rinoa from the office. The cafeteria had pretty much been scavenged by last minute hungry students – so desperate times called for desperate measures.

Squall would probably regret his decision in the long run but, for now, it seemed the best course of action. As this had happened more than once, he mentally chided himself for not stocking his own kitchen with something remotely edible. This wasn't his first 'emergency' when it came to offering a meal although, last time, it had been during lunch and thankfully he had tinfoil-wrapped leftovers.

If he were to combine his last attempt at being a rather pathetic host with his tendency to skip meals during work hours – one would expect that he would be an expert in contingency planning. He should have an entire grocery store stocked in his pantry by now, but that was just another question to resolve the future… and the bigger question, why the hell did he have a pantry anyhow?

As he turned the final corner towards his apartment, he could see Rinoa leaning against the wall. She was wearing a mint-green pair of shorts and a coordinating t-shirt; her hair pulled into a high ponytail. It looked like an outfit she might have worn to sleep in, but that more adventurous part of his mind wanted to believe she wore something less conservative in that situation. It was probably just something she had thrown on after getting out of bed…

Of course, this begged the important question: what did she sleep in? He silently cursed himself for letting those thoughts enter his mind – that was certainly not the line of thinking he needed right now.

He could see that her arms were folded defensively across her chest; he had been met with this stance often. Fortunately for him, he had always seemed to end up getting her to open up, as ironic as that seemed. For that he had to thank Garden's classes on the proper procedures for interrogation and reading the subtle hints of body language. Years ago, he would have never guessed that the knowledge would be useful on deciphering his girlfriend's many moods, yet another turn of fate in his life.

Rinoa casually tried to look the opposite direction and pretended not to notice his presence. Her attempts at 'being upset' greatly amused him; he just couldn't outwardly let onto that fact. That would probably just add much fuel to the unwanted fire.

Squall noticed that she had tried to cover the fact that she had looked, but he had caught sight of her not-so-stealthy-peeking. Still, he betrayed no outward emotion as he stood beside to her.

"Rinoa," he stated dryly.

"Squall." Her voice was equally as noncommittal.

Walking up, he nodded towards the door. "Well, now that we've made formal introductions – can I get little help?"

"I don't exactly have a key," she answered pointedly, finally looking toward him.

To her surprise, he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, softly instructing, "Don't be difficult."

To her surprise, he stayed uncomfortably close - his mouth teasingly near and his proximity made her extremely nervous. The sorceress realized that keeping up her angry farce was quickly being shot to hell. Of course, she surmised that was _exactly_ the result he was hoping for. Squall Leonhart could be so damn infuriating when he wanted to be. The 'not-so-small-fact' that he was wearing his uniform also made him seem even more imposing. No, it wasn't his formal SeeD wear, but even the light blue ones looked damn good on him.

"Fine," she finally replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

Okay, maybe she was still trying to be _slightly_ difficult as there was some sort of principle at stake after all. To silence further protesting, he gave her another quick peck all the while again trying not to show his amusement at her behavior. For as little as he knew about relationships, common sense told him that antagonizing the situation would not end well.

"Good," he replied finally, allowing a thin smile to grace his lips.

Again, he made a motion toward the door. Defeated, she moaned taking the two cups from his hands. He didn't say another word as he reached into his pocket and retrieved his keycard. Opening the door, he remained ever the gentleman by stepping to the side and allowing her to enter first.

Rinoa walked by, eying him with a fair amount of suspicion. Under normal circumstance, the commander would have been more concerned about rules, regulations, and accountability than well…whatever _this_ was.

As she headed toward the kitchen counter, Rinoa found that her skepticism had already multiplied tenfold; the more she tried to make sense of this, the less logical this all seemed. She decided it was best to wait for him rather than bombarding with questions. So, setting the cups down, she rested her elbows on the counter, clasped her hands together, and then finally rested her head on them. She was determined to wait patiently or rather act the part - but she _so_ wished he would hurry up. How long did it take to close the damn door anyhow?

Still leaning on the counter, she watched as he finally walked by - her eyes slowly tracing the path of his body's every movement. Casually, he set both the bag and the magazine on the countertop. He shrugged off his jacket as quickly as possible, placing it next to the other items.

Again, the passing silence did nothing to ease her nerves and neither did the fact that he had decided to start undressing, well, _sort of..._ She tried not to act mesmerized as he undid the top few buttons his shirt, just to the point where his chain was visible around his neck. She traced a path from his collar bone to the top of his chest and truly found herself in awe… That was until a part of her brain remembered that a significant portion of the world's population was most likely doing the same; at least her version was quite real and very three-dimensional, better than any printed magazine cover.

Then, to Rinoa's shock, he walked behind her and encircled his arms around her waist. Standing upward, she involuntary flinched at the unexpected contact. That certainly was not the gesture she had anticipated, but then again, nothing of this night had been expected.

Battling within herself, she again wanted to ask what this whole thing was about – why was she at his place anyhow? It was certainly going to be after curfew, if it wasn't already, and she knew how much credence he put into obeying the rules. Even if every other student found a way to circumvent them, he had always seemed duty-bound to set the perfect example.

Most importantly, what led to this major turnaround from forty-five minutes ago?

She knew if she asked, she could possibly ruin this moment and from her perspective, it seemed to be a very, very perfect moment.

Before the sorceress could contemplate further, she could feel the warm sensation of his breath; it whispered into her ear although not one word was said. He placed a light kiss on her neck as he nuzzled next to her. Unconsciously, she found herself leaning her back against his chest - even now he commanded silent control. Again she found herself following his lead as he reached for her left hand and interlocked their fingers.

However, the biggest surprise was yet to come.

Rinoa felt something being placed into her right hand. It was something familiar. It felt identical to something she, and every other person at Garden, used daily. In fact, she had used hers only a few minutes before his call to meet with him. So, in this case, it wasn't the 'what' that was important; she was already quite aware of what it was – it was the 'why.'

…And on that account, she was utterly clueless as she looked at the keycard resting in her hand.

"Take this," Squall whispered softly.

He already knew that any trace of her being upset was lost within her confusion.

As if responding to her unspoken question of 'why,' he simply answered, "Next time you can open the door."

Her mind raced when the fact that he was serious started to sink in. Earlier, when she had mockingly stated that she 'didn't have a key,' this honestly wasn't her intent. _Ever._ Nor did she ever mean to imply anything along these lines.

He knew that she was speechless, however, he was not. Squall found the need to clarify a very important detail about this 'transaction.'

"Rinoa, it's just for emergencies – not because you feel the need to take a long bubble bath, okay?"

Her fingers gently wrapped around the plastic card as she fought against the uncertainty. It was that lingering disbelief that finally made her break away. She needed to face him, to make sure this was truly what he wanted and not some reaction to counter their exchange in his office. Once again, her eyes traveled to his, as she tried to search for an explanation in vain.

Her voice was nothing more than a nervous whisper. "Squall?"

He shook the question off by taking a few steps back.

In the blink of an eye, he had become completely overwhelmed by this entire exchange. He suddenly felt like an emotional coward, but there were some truths that he wasn't ready to face head-on. It was one thing to hold her in his arms, handing her the key as her back rested against him, but it reached an entirely different emotional apex the moment their eyes locked.

Maybe if he gave her a reason, _any reason_ , she would let it drop. "Look, I have a master keycard, so it seems fair in the long run. Plus next time when I'm walking down the hallway with my hands full… well, problem solved. That's all."

Somewhere inside, she wanted to question him deeper but her mind was still at a loss. Rinoa couldn't help her baffled look as she slipped the card into her pocket. It was times like this when she had to remind herself to take his gesture at face value; to push any further always proved counterproductive. It was also times like this that he would begin to open up, but she realized he had decided to shut down just as quickly.

She might not always understand his actions but, she always understood they had meant _something_ – even if he was the only one to know what the 'meaning' was.

She felt bad as he awkwardly tried to focus his attention elsewhere. She understood both Squall's reluctance and his desire to open up; at times, more than he even understood the two conflicting ideals. Experience had also taught her that he was most likely replaying giving her the keycard in his head. Right now, he was thinking, most likely _over-_ thinking, exactly what his spontaneity had done or moreover implied. She knew him well enough to let the entire subject rest…at least, for now.

Playing the gift off, she forced a smile placing the card in her pocket. "Thank you…really. Um, yeah, and I promise no random bubble baths…at least while you're not here."

Well, okay, her attempt at casual acceptance apparently fell flat.

Squall looked as if he was going to say something but then decided against it. When the growing awkwardness continued, Rinoa pointed to the items on the counter desperately hoping for a change of topic.

"So, what's all this anyhow?"

He fell back into a more disciplined role and as if explaining to a newly-enrolled cadet, he systematically pointed to each item explaining, "The first object is a jacket, a very uncomfortable one at that. That particular uniform is issued to both cadets and SeeDs alike. They are disturbed yearly, but are a pain in the ass and, for a matter of public record, are dry clean only…."

Pausing just enough for her to witness the briefest of smiles, he the firmly continued, "That is a brown _paper bag_ – 'paper' commonly being derived from the pulp of trees. And a 'bag' is generally used to hold several items in a convenient manner. Next, the two tall, cylindrical objects are designed for the sole purpose of holding liquids. I believe these particular ones are made from some heavy, waxy type paper. Finally, the flat book-like thing with several pages stapled together is a magazine. Anymore questions?"

Her mouth fell open at his answer, "Now look who's being difficult. I'm glad you've mastered the art of sarcasm."

Squall shrugged indifferently. "I've always been sarcastic. It's just the saying-it-out-loud part that has taken some adjustment."

He had said it with such a straight-faced expression that she nearly started laughing. The saddest part of his admission - was that it was most likely the truth.

This night was certainly turning out to be…bizarre to say the very least.

She was able to hold her composure, mirroring with her own stoic expression. "I suppose your assessment of the objects on the counter and your abilities at sarcasm are both correct. In regards to the latter point, I seem to recall a specific incident when your sarcasm first reared its ugly head. The day you, Squall Leonhart, gave me, your valued client, a tour of Balamb Garden…"

Taking a step away from the counter, she slowly started circling around him; her hands clasped loosely behind her back – this was her own, uniquely original, version of a military interrogation.

Passing by again, she looked up at him sternly. "Do you remember that day?"

"I have no such recollection of any such events," he stated firmly, crossing his arms.

"Really?"

The young sorceress raised an eyebrow and looked at him poignantly, before shaking her head in disbelief. With that, she continued her path around him.

"All right then, Commander Leonhart…let me state some facts to refresh your memory. I, Rinoa Heartilly, found that the door to your dorm was unlocked. In the name of safety, I decided to make sure that you were unharmed and took it bravely upon myself to check on your wellbeing. At such time, when it was established that you were not in any immediate danger, I requested a tour of Balamb Garden. To which, I believe, you willingly and joyfully accepted with a spring in your step and song in your heart…"

She paused, before teasingly correcting herself, "Okay those last sentiments may be a _slight_ bit embellished on my end, but that's how I'm going to retell it years in the future. Nonetheless, at some particular junction on the tour, we – _employee and employer_ \- found ourselves standing together in the infirmary. However, fate interjected and we found ourselves not alone but, more specifically, with one Dr. Kadowaki. Said doctor then asked if I, Rinoa Elizabeth Heartilly, was your girlfriend… does this scenario ring any bells?"

This time, when she circled between him and the counter, he caught her off guard. With the given opportunity, he was able to block her movement, thus stopping her dead in her tracks. He then maneuvered his body, making for damn sure that she was pinned between him and the countertop; his arms firmly placed on either side of her, acting as if their own form of restraints.

"Squall Leonhart, Commander Balamb Garden, ID number 41269."

She bit her lip feeling extremely uncomfortable, but she wasn't about to surrender the balance of power that easily. The Commander of Balamb Garden knew _exactly_ what he was doing and, in all honesty, it was quite infuriating. Only a few minutes ago, they were in an almost identical position…not that she minded, but this time, she was going to stand her ground.

"Name, rank, and serial number aren't going to get you out of answering this one… Anyway, Dr. Kadowaki asked if I was your girlfriend and you replied with a blatant 'yes.' I then asked you if you were serious and you stated 'yes' yet _again_ – only to later announce that you were, and I quote, ' _seriously joking.'_ Does that sound familiar?"

"Sorry, it's the GFs. They made me forget," he said, his voice soft yet husky. He purposely pressed his body forward, pinning her closer to the counter.

Rinoa tried helplessly to swallow as her mouth became uncomfortably parched. She wondered how long she could keep up this pretense; he was purposely turning the interrogation around on her. His proximity was damn near akin to torture. Without Rinoa realizing, her tongue ran along her upper lip. Their eyes were locked into an intense gaze and neither withdrew from the battle at hand.

It appeared that they had reached a stalemate, both refusing to relinquish unspoken power by admitting defeat. Her subconscious action of licking her lips and had not gone unnoticed by him. Truthfully, he found himself intrigued, but this wasn't a time to show weakness, no matter how much he wanted to give in.

Rinoa would be the first to yield to the silence, calling him out on his last claim. "So, it was the GFs? Let me be clear, that is the story you're sticking with?"

Now it was her turn to be slightly more adventurous, he had already made his move. She raised both hands, freeing them from their makeshift barrier. He didn't try to stop her, but he certainly held his ground in all other aspects. A mischievous smile graced her lips as she wrapped her arms around him before placing her hands firmly on either of his shoulders.

As she continued to interrogate, she furthered her boldness and both of her hands trailed slowly down his back. "Commander Leonhart, I find it convenient that you not only haven't even junctioned a GF since Ultimecia, but you have openly stated that some childhood memories are beginning to resurface. So, while everyone else around you can clearly recall things from last year, you manage to _selectively_ forget only certain events."

Her palms had now traveled almost forcefully down his back. In another moment of inspired bravery, she continued downward until her hands rested on either side of his upper thighs. The sorceress found herself fighting against wayward thoughts. It seemed that their current proximity encouraged her more than normal.

Narrowing her eyes, she once again tried to feign her anger. "These 'so-called' memory lapses, by the way, seem to inexplicably revolve around our conversations…and you expect me to believe this? Not to mention, you've all ready used that excuse on me back at the orphanage. I didn't buy it then and I _really_ don't buy it now."

It was his turn to pretend to be 'shocked' at the revelation. "Really? I thought I was rather convincing on both accounts. I bought it."

Since the moment he saw her standing in the hall, Squall had no idea what had come over him; this hadn't been his intention at all. He had called her to see if she had been upset, to see if Quistis had been right. It only took the first few seconds to see that the instructor had understood the situation better than he had.

But how it had gone from offering a late meal, to being entangled in a rather intimate position, he had no clue….

It seemed that his pent-up stress was manifesting itself and he was channeling everything into this encounter. Over the months, he had been finding it increasingly difficult to repress certain desires and _whatever_ tonight was – was different for him. There was also a part of him that enjoyed seeing her flustered and feeling her body react like this...

Next to him. Speechless and stunned.

He would never use the word 'timid' to describe his girlfriend, yet that was the only adjective he could use as he purposely hadn't responded to her question. The longer he remained silent, the more he could sense her both discomfort and awkwardness – whether it was due to proximity or their bond he wasn't sure but it was strangely empowering.

Then again, how could he use the word timid when her fingers were pressing into his hips?

Squall was close enough that he could feel the tempo of her heart increase with every passing moment. There had always been so much emotional self-doubt that he never thought anyone would react this way with him, to him – and truly mean it. This wasn't based on his looks, or SeeD position, or even an ideal created over time, but this was based on every flaw and every aspect of his being.

With his newfound revelations, he finally decided to relieve her anxiety.

He would offer the truth and never back down, in spite of lingering fears. He had pretty much disregarded all the norms of accepted personal space and he wasn't backing down.

"I, Squall Leonhart, recall the incident you are referring to in the infirmary. First, for the sake of clarity, your recollection about my willingness to take you on the tour differs greatly from mine… I am certain that there was no skipping or singing on my part, but I digress. As for the 'girlfriend' comment in the infirmary, it was said, at the time, solely to annoy you. On the day in question, no, I did not think of you as my girlfriend nor did I honestly believe it would turn out like this."

He could feel her body flinch at the words, but paid it no regard. Purposefully, he moved one hand up the length of her arm; his fingertips traced their way to her shoulder, softly brushing now sensitive skin along the way.

"However, I found out that you don't annoy or give up as easily as I'd hoped and, trust me, I tried like hell to shake you at first. You are, in fact, quite persistent - even when I didn't want you to be…and sometimes when I did but, you'll never hear me admit to that fact. The GFs may have attributed to my childhood memory loss – some temporary and some possibly permanent. But I did, and still _do,_ remember everything since that first night in the ballroom… So, you do have me on those points, I apologize."

His right hand now traveled up to her neck, before finally cupping her cheek. He softly ran his thumb teasingly making small circles covering her chin and her lower lip. He edged her face closer, so that he was now speaking into her ear as their bodies rested together.

"And, for a matter of public record you, Rinoa Heartilly, as of this date _are_ my girlfriend – seriously, no joking. It doesn't matter what others say or what's printed in a magazine. If you want, I'll march downstairs right now and tell Dr. Kadowaki this very significant and very true fact….but if I do, then our dinner will get even colder than it already is. Do you really want cold hot dogs?"

"Cold hot dogs?" she managed still flabbergasted; the sensation of his breath was still sending tingles throughout her entire body.

His acknowledgment had been a single nod; Rinoa could feel his answer rather than see it as the side of his face gently brushed against hers. She couldn't believe how this night had been so amazing. He was so sweet, yet his demeanor seemed to hold that same firm, determined SeeD resolve that she had always been drawn to. No matter what, he usually appeared to be in control and right now, she gained much from his strength.

Nervously, she bit her lip as the choice was decisively, and very purposely, left up to her. "Um, no, Squall, you don't have to go tell her. I'm sure Dr. Kadowaki has figured it out somewhere along the line."

"Good," he stated playfully as he pulled away. "Now, if I could only say the same for you… we wouldn't be in this position, would we?"

Smirking triumphantly, he walked past her acting as if her presence was merely an obstacle to walk around. She stood shocked as he left her resting against the counter for support. It appeared that he had transformed back into his normal self, every trace of their encounter completely erased.

His statement had been said rhetorically, but it also contained the hint of lecture if you knew how to read between the lines and she very well did in this case. Most likely, it had been a subtle indication for his reason in calling, but that realization hadn't dawned upon her yet; her mind was still wrapped around their rather heated exchange and his now apparent minor victory of the night. Still, she dared to admit to herself that there were some major baser instincts at play and rather equally from both parties involved.

Looking at him, he was certainly covering well. Outwardly, he purposely acted as if their proximity had, indeed, been no big deal.

Turning around to face him, she finally managed a confused, "…What was that?"

"Well, first that was me trying to get it through your head that I'm your boyfriend, no matter what anyone else thinks. Also, I never had any intention of going to the infirmary to clarify my position with the doctor - no matter the outcome to your protest. It was you that needed the clarification all along, so I think we rather succeeded there, right?"

At this point, she was honestly trying to get her heart rate back down into a more medically accepted level. A few minutes ago, she was rather upset with him going as far as trying to outwardly avoid eye contact, but her anger too apparently had manifested in a quite unexpected way. Somehow, in the midst of all this, the two had managed to share one their most sexually-charged encounters - one without any substantial contact, or even a single meeting of their lips. It was a new and unexpected experience; it was oddly welcome but her mind was still trying to process these facts.

"You're right," she admitted hesitantly. From the second she had read the article, she had felt this odd jealousy. It couldn't really be explained, but neither could the way he had handled the situation.

"Really, these hot dogs seem a little cold and may need to be reheated. 'Cold hot dogs' is an oxymoron which could make Zell start questioning the ways of the universe… although I did hear him say the word 'dogcicle.' I'm just hoping that was figurative and not literal. He's probably still upset about having to dive into his hot dog stockpile. The guy apparently hoards a freezer full – to have him part with a few basically cost me my soul…"

Yet again, his entire demeanor seemed unnaturally calm. His focus had already turned toward preparing the food. She thought that outwardly he tried to play it off as another interrogation, another mission, but inwardly she had her doubts. She would leave that discovery for another time.

"So these hot dogs cost your soul, huh?" Rinoa laughed nervously, as she tried to focus on the dinner.

"Well, maybe not my soul per se, but several hundred Gil," he corrected as he unwrapped them from the foil. "Oh, and if that wasn't enough, I also agreed to keep him company when he goes to gather Cactuar thorns. So, yeah, basically my soul, my pride, and the horrific realization that he intentionally picked me as company."

"Yeah, poor guy he must be desperate," she playfully added with a wink.

Even though she thoroughly enjoyed their earlier closeness, there was a beautiful comfort found in between these moments. They were both at ease with one another and she truly could feel both their bond and their relationship growing.

Reaching into the refrigerator, he looked back over his shoulder bluntly stating, "All those years of convincing people I'm unapproachable has been shot to hell, I blame you. And for ruining my life's work, _you_ can grab plates from the cupboard. It's the second one from the right."

"You truly are a meanie," she teased.

As she turned around reaching for the cabinet, she had to ask, "Were you serious about Zell stockpiling hot dogs? Please tell me that's a gross exaggeration…or some figure of speech from Balamb that I'm not aware of."

"No, I'm pretty sure it means the same thing in Galbadia as it does here – Zell has serious issues regarding meat byproducts. On general principle, I don't ask him about his hobbies and he doesn't ask me about mine."

Rinoa opened the cabinet door and grabbed two plates, ironically the exact amount he appeared to have owned. Scanning the shelves, she noted that the entire contents were: one cup, four coffee mugs, a small pitcher, and to her confusion, two gravy boats – one was even sterling silver.

Closing the door, she questionably looked towards him, "Speaking of hobbies, why do you have two gravy boats and only cup? That is…odd."

"Commander's Day gifts," he replied dryly. "Plus the boats double as bowls. And for clarity's sake, there is currently a cup by the side of my bed, so I'm not quite as destitute as you may believe."

Inwardly, she took a deep, cleansing breath and decided to let the subject rest. Apparently, his desire to be sarcastic still seemed to be in full force. She had come to understand that Squall's sarcastic remarks in the past had been a defense mechanism. Before, others may have misconstrued his attitude as spiteful or cynical – she had believed the same at one time. He had earlier clarified that this had been an ongoing thing with him for a long time; he just didn't always voice his comments. She loved the fact that he showed this side of him to her, even if it was intentionally done to annoy her in the past.

Her guess – he also very much did it to annoy her in the present too. She wouldn't change a thing.

Over the next few minutes, they had gathered everything and even reheated the hot dogs. Eventually, they finally made their way into his living room. Squall grabbed a spare sheet from his linen closet, spreading it like picnic cloth across the floor. They both were seated on it now complete with the hot dogs, plates, and their drinks resting over to their side.

However, even as sweet as this gesture had been, Rinoa found herself ridiculously tense – his lack of furniture and wall-to-wall off-white carpet made her extremely nervous. So much so that she refused to use either ketchup or mustard…or any other colored condiment.

This night was turning out nothing like she had pictured. When she was waiting in line earlier with Selphie, this was not the evening she thought ahead of her…

… _It was so much better._


	14. Ex Post Facto

-o-o-o-

**ex post fac·to** (-adjective) - _Latin_  
1\. from or by subsequent action; subsequently; retrospectively; retroactively. **  
**2\. having retroactive force; made or done subsequently.

-o-o-o-

_July 19_ _th_ _ 1:04am _

She had completely stressed herself out.

It was ridiculous. It was awkward. It was embarrassing beyond all words, but most importantly, it was all over a damned hot dog. Rinoa had never been so self-conscious about eating before, which was saying a lot given the amount of 'black-tie' affairs she had been dragged to in her lifetime.

Her nerves had already been frayed over the mere thought of staining Squall's carpet, but now those nerves had inadvertently come face-to-face with another deadly enemy – _silence._ Ambient sound was something she had taken for granted during the umpteen-thousand meals they shared at the cafeteria, but now with solitude came silence. Unfortunately, the radio and small television he owned were both in the bedroom; it would have least served as some background noise. Then again, _this_ probably was the norm for him…

For the past few minutes, the only sound she could hear was the sound of her own chewing. Whether she really was chewing that loudly or whether it was just resonating because of awareness, she hesitated to venture that guess. The only thing Rinoa knew for certain was that she was alone with her boyfriend for the first time after curfew and her foremost thought was _if she chewed too many times_. Seriously, if she stopped to think about it - how ridiculous had she made this situation?

Her memories flashed to one of those educational films that they showed during her primary years of school. She could vividly picture the scenario in her head – a set of animated, talking teeth lecturing about the importance of a bite's size and counting the amount of times one chewed. In everyday life who actually thought about these things before finally swallowing? Sadly, today that person was her because here she was fixated on the subject.

"Would you like something else?"

His voice cut through the silence and made her involuntarily tense. She laughed nervously, thankful that although they shared some empathic connections, direct mind reading was not among them.

"Um, no, I'm fine." Rinoa offered a faint smile as she reached for a napkin to wipe her hands. "Sorry, you just startled me."

"I know how the over-thinking thing can be. I'm kind of an expert in that department. Anything specific?"

"No, no, nothing," she said a little too hastily.

Squall raised an eyebrow and looked at her skeptically but decided it better to let the subject matter rest. Rinoa already seemed a tad bit uncomfortable and there was no need in magnifying or agitating the situation further. He gave a simple nod and went back to focusing on his food. Right now, Squall couldn't help but think he had made a huge mistake, which basically had manifested itself by his lack of conversation. Not that his absence of words was groundbreaking by any means, quite the contrary, but the longer he sat, the longer he had time to reevaluate his rather brash actions.

He knew this meal couldn't last forever, but under the circumstances, he wished it would miraculously stretch until morning. He wouldn't say he was purposely eating _slowly_ but he also wouldn't say that he was in any great rush to finish. From the way she was acting, he wondered if she felt the same. It was on exceptionally rare occasions like this that he wished he could get a glimpse into her mind, if only briefly, to make sure they were on the same page.

Soon after they had first started eating, it hit him that he hadn't planned this night all the way through, which was quite unlike him. He wasn't often spontaneous and this just proved _why_ ; there was something to be said about the security of planning in detail. In his haste to extort hotdogs from Zell, he hadn't considered this evening anything but a way to clear the air with her. Still, all and all, he was glad that she was there. A more mischievous side was also thankful for their earlier 'counter encounter.' He was surprised to find there was something liberating about taking charge and letting down that protective guard. There was also a curious fascination in watching her reactions when he had done so…

But when all was said and done there was only one major fact which remained: they were _alone_ together – after curfew, in his apartment. It was the possible ramifications of this that lead to his current confusion.

The commander had always prided himself in maintaining a professional decorum whenever possible, but that seemed to have been slipping as of late. For God's sake, he had just gotten off 'suspension' this morning and look how he ended _bending_ the rules not even twenty-four hours later. Although having a non-student female in his apartment wasn't technically against the rules, it was greatly frowned upon and he highly doubted Cid would be pleased with his actions. He could already hear the headmaster lecturing him on appearance and morals. No matter how hard he tried, Squall constantly felt as if he was letting somebody down.

Tonight had just happened so quickly – the stress of work, Rinoa stopping by, the damned magazine, the comments by Quistis, and ultimately his overriding need to make everything right with his girlfriend. So now on top of trying to sort out this whole Timber Maniacs fiasco, he had to find a way to tactfully ask her to go back to her place.

People would gossip. It was a given.

Even though he knew nothing was going to happen between them tonight, there were probably very few who would think that. Then again, according to a vast majority, that bridge had been crossed long ago - not to mention the alleged catfights between Rinoa and Quistis, in the shower no less. He wondered how these things even came about in the first place. Hell, if he logged onto Garden Square right now the fact that she was even there most likely would've been the hot topic on the chat rooms.

The commander really hoped that the students had more self-restraint than that, but he honestly felt as if he was constantly living under a microscope. Even though all students showed respect to him as a leader and his skill as a SeeD, the same could not be said for Rinoa. He often was quietly in awe of her strength and her ability to shrug it off with a smile; he just hoped that smile would never fade because of a situation he put her in. Tomorrow would be about damage control and explanations, but one _semi-minor-but-somehow-major_ problem at a time. Right now, it was about making it through tonight.

It wasn't long after that both finished their meal, which unfortunately led to even more awkwardness between them. It seemed as if both were waiting on the other to take the lead.

Rinoa apprehensively shifted in her seat waiting for something to happen, _anything_ to happen; however, she did find one major plus with their current situation, well beside the obvious part of just being together. It was that they were pretty well confined, forcing them both to face their problems head-on. Although, if Squall were to describe this arrangement, he'd probably forgo the term 'confined' and flat out go with 'trapped' – this was most definitely a matter of perspective.

As the air grew more intense, Rinoa found herself drumming her fingernails against her empty plate, making a faint but rhythmic beat. It had been subconscious act at first, but given the deathly silence, the sound quickly filled the room. It had most likely been a minute or so and he still hadn't uttered a word. At the very least she figured that he would have grumbled about her annoying tapping. For her own sanity, she forced herself to stop at this point, which only lead to another round of silence. Inwardly, she wondered what had happened to that bold and forward persona of his from earlier.

Then again, _two_ steps forward, _one_ step back – that pattern was pretty much the mantra for their entire relationship.

"Squall, please don't think I don't appreciate anything you've done for me tonight… but what's all this really about?"

In all truthfulness, Rinoa was aware that she had asked a rather loaded question. Still, from the moment he had decided to dial her phone number, he had showed part of his hand - she just wanted to see what else was up his sleeve. Given that it was now well after midnight, she felt as if she had a right to give him a prod in this direction. If not, she seriously wondered if they would be silently sitting in the middle of his living room until sunrise.

He rubbed his neck, looking away. "I thought I knew, but it was then pointed out to me that maybe I didn't."

"What did I point out? I'm not exactly following…"

"Not you, Quistis."

"Um, _what_?" she said sharply. "Now I'm really not following."

He inadvertently let out a brash laugh as he realized how ridiculous that probably sounded – and for far more than one reason. Naturally, his unexpected reaction only added to her confusion.

"Rinoa, it's that Quistis-" He stopped as his eyes caught sight of the plate in her hand. "Hold on just a moment. Wait here."

Standing up, he reached down and grabbed the plate from her hands and then gathered his own. Without further word or explanation, the commander walked into the kitchen, placing the used dishes into the sink. She was half expecting him to wash them at once, as only Squall Leonhart would be that obsessed over the thought of dirty dishes inhabiting his apartment – boy did she ever hope that she was wrong. She was thankful when he immediately turned back around, but the relief was short-lived as he turned yet again and headed down the hallway. Her eyes followed in slight horror as he disappeared into the bedroom.

" _Ahhggh,"_ she groaned loudly, placing her hands over her face.

Rinoa wasn't sure what had been the main reason for her aggravation as there were several possible candidates. It could have been waiting in line on her 'girl's night out' with Selphie. It could have been the discovery of Squall's newly dubbed bachelor-king status. It possibly could have been his ridiculously clean wall-to-wall carpeting that she was quickly beginning to loath with an unbridled passion. Or maybe it was for a few other possible reasons - her own ineptitude to eat a hot dog, memories of talking animated teeth, or even the fact that somehow Quistis was mysteriously thrown into the mix. Of course her breaking point was his unexplained disappearing act into the bedroom. With her luck, the guy was checking his latest work emails or scrutinizing the performance of his stock in gunblade oil – that would seriously be the topper to this evening.

She was completely frustrated. This whole night had been a damned paradox - for every beautifully intimate moment like earlier, there were dozens more that were completely opposite. Over the last months her emotions felt as if they were tapped on a carousal - constantly going up and down, but all the while spinning in what felt like never-ending circles.

_One_ step forward, _two_ steps back…

As Squall walked into his bedroom, it suddenly dawned on him how Rinoa may have interpret his timing. There was a reason why he avoided personal interaction with others in this past – _this._ In his mind, his thought process made sense. It was quite often translating these thoughts that landed him in hot water; as one-word replies and cryptic answers served their purpose in the past with other people – but this was the present and Rinoa just wasn't 'other people.'

It started simply enough in his mind.

The chain of events made sense to him, but she was most likely left sitting on the floor clueless. Before he gotten up, he was going to begin explaining, but then that more detailed-orientated portion of his mind had taken control. Unfortunately, his less used socially-polite side forgot to play its part. It would have served him well to just mention that he was 'going to be right back and he just wanted to make her more comfortable.' Instead, his words sounded as if he had more-or-less just barked out an order to her.

In all honesty, he had realized that this conversation was most likely going to take awhile. The fact that she looked extremely tense caught his eye and the way she gripped her plate only emphasized this fact. Even though he had very little to offer, Squall always wanted her to feel comfortable at his place and sitting in the middle of the room on sheet was anything but.

There was a brief moment when he contemplated suggesting that they move to his bed, but their heated encounter from a few minutes ago was still fresh in his mind – and vividly so. He had a quick debate of conscience about what to do. The choices were simple: go in and lie on the bed or stay in there. He decided on the latter, although the former was honestly tempting - a little too tempting. The least he could do to make her a little more comfortable by grabbing pillows and a spare blanket from his closet.

As he carried the items back into the main room, he could see her silently mouth _'oh'_ to herself as if she suddenly understood his disappearance. There were just so many of these little aspects to a relationship that he still struggled with at times, but it was usually when he stopped thinking about them all together that everything became more natural.

As he walked by, he reached out to the small knob which dimmed the lights. Up until now, he thought that damn button was ridiculously frivolous, much like most of the small amenities in his apartment that he never intended to use. However he wouldn't say that the dimming feature seemed _completely_ useless now, just mildly useless – much like him having a bathtub with massaging bubble jets, although Rinoa had enjoyed the tub, which made it well worth its value to both of them.

…Damn it, another vivid memory that he needed to push from his mind.

Walking by the counter, he willed himself to pick up the magazine that started this whole mess. The commander couldn't help the internal groan as he glanced down at the cover. Somehow seeing the shirtless picture of him again didn't make it any less upsetting. He doubted that sick feeling would be fading anytime soon.

Although it wasn't a flat-out apology, Squall offered an explanation. "Before we continued, I thought maybe you would like to get a little more comfortable."

"Thank you." She smiled sincerely, knowing exactly what he meant. However, she wasn't going to let it rest that easily, not until she said her piece. "Your hospitality is getting much better, Mr. Leonhart, but your timing still leaves a lot to be desired."

He crooked his head looking at her seriously. "Funny, you seemed to be desiring my timing earlier."

"Who said that I enjoyed or desired anything!" she demanded. It was quite true she _did_ , but admitting that in this moment was entirely out of the question. Somehow he had once again managed to turn her own words against her; either he had a talent for doing that or she had a penchant for saying the wrong words.

Truthfully, Squall couldn't believe what he had just said so he tried to shrug it off by acting indifferently. He then tossed a pillow in her general direction, but being caught off guard, she didn't have enough time to react. In her massively failed attempt at catching, the pillow ended up bouncing off of her arms and smacking her in the face before finally falling to the floor.

"Impressive reflexes," he deadpanned, "and I'm even going to openly admit that I enjoyed that."

Almost inaudibly, she mumbled to herself and grabbed the pillow from the floor. Stretching out, she finally placed it back down with much emphasis. She really wasn't upset, but she could be overtly stubborn at times, this evening would prove no exception. After rolling onto her stomach, she glanced back as she propped herself up onto her elbows.

To her surprise she watched him kick off his shoes and he was honestly kicking them off. It was rather strange to see him shed that little bit of order; the move seemed like a typical reaction to the end of an overly tiring long day. Rinoa was amused by his momentary lapse into 'normalcy' as she tried to bite back a small laugh. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the fact that he had unbuttoned the top of his shirt. She tried to ignore how ridiculously sexy he was, especially because he certainly wasn't trying. Again, these were thoughts she wouldn't dare share, but at least they were a vast improvement from earlier.

Finally joining Rinoa on the floor, he laid on his side so he could face her. Never asking, he gently covered her with the blanket but purposely refrained from lying under it himself. Their eyes met and she wondered if it was going to be another deadlock born out of their stubbornness; thankfully, she didn't have to wonder for long.

"All right, my timing isn't the greatest. I got distracted, I'm sorry."

He then managed to completely catch her off guard as he leaned over and softly kissed her lips.

She smiled between small kisses. "Now, did that hurt to admit?"

"Yes."

Apparently, he was also going to be equally as stubborn this evening. She pulled away, rolling her eyes and collapsing back onto her pillow.

She sighed. "So want to tell me what you didn't know that you thought you knew?"

"I know I shouldn't understand what you just said, but I do."

He reached over, lazily brushing the hair from her face. It was odd, there was some part of him that had this desire to keep in contact with her, but he still found himself stopping from getting closer – at least for now.

"Rinoa, we look at things differently, which is both a positive and a negative. My first reaction to the magazine was likely not the same as yours. When I saw that picture I was pissed…well, okay we probably agreed on that point. It was more on the implied content of the article where we differed. What I'm trying to say is that fucking list or their use of the word bachelor doesn't mean a damned thing to me."

"Squall, you couldn't even get through that without cussing. I think that it meant at least a little something to you."

She had him there. "Fine, it irritated me slightly, but only after I read how ridiculously stupid it was. If it had been half-way serious, I wouldn't have cared, but that – how they can get away with _that_ as journalism is beyond me."

"See, I knew you were upset. So you going to explain to me what Quistis has to do with this or would you rather me speculate?"

Even now there was an air of hesitancy surrounding that particular subject.

After their lunch months ago, the two women had come to a mutual understanding. But there was still a part of Rinoa that saw Quistis as everything she wasn't. As for Squall, some aspects of the past were hard to come to terms with and although she would always be one of his closest friends, there would always be this unseen barrier between them. It was a subject that most likely would fade with time, but right now it was still felt a little too fresh.

"She stopped by – my light was still on and she was dropping off something for the headmaster."

Squall wondered why he felt the need to justify Quistis being upstairs in the administrative offices, but for some reason he wanted Rinoa to know, even if just in passing. However, he was wisely going to leave out her comment about being 'first in line.'

"One of the first things out of her mouth was asking about you, and how you were handling the article. I was a little too focused on the interruption at first to get her meaning, but she does have this way of getting the point across. I guess what it boils down to is that I needed someone else to remind me how we tend to look at things. On the plus side, at least this time her point didn't take half of a semester to understand or involve a pop quiz."

"You're so horrible, Squall!" She reached out and flicked him on the shoulder playfully. "And don't count your Chocobos before they hatch. I'm not completely ruling out a quiz on the subject."

He shrugged although he was going to defend his earlier comment, Rinoa had no idea whatsoever of how mind-numbing the woman could be…

"Hey, she wasn't your teacher. I'm just saying – she's good but there are limits to what one's brain can handle. Ask her about the mechanics of junctioning elementally-based magic… You should plan on blocking a week off your calendar if she forgoes the detail - a month if she doesn't. Only then can you tell me how horrible I am," he said teasing with the hint of a smile.

"Basically, Quistis just reminded me, or politely informed me, that even though _I know_ that I'm your boyfriend the rest of the world doesn't. And that's exactly why I made you say it to me earlier, to remind yourself. I wanted to make sure that you really knew, you know?"

"Believe it or not, I understand you and, yes, _I know_." She laughed. "We make no sense."

"Not a damn lick." His statement was completely serious.

Moving away from her, he rolled onto his back and stared blindly at the ceiling. As much as he was learning to open up, there was always something pulling back. Five months ago he was a terrified at the thought of being someone's boyfriend. The term had always carried a preset notion of both physical and emotional attachments that seemed utterly impossible for him.

Draping his arm over his forehead Squall quietly admitted, "I actually remember the first time it hit me that _**I**_ was someone's boyfriend. Oddly enough it was on the way back from a mission - I was just walking into Garden. It was strange to think about and even harder to accept…but I have. The thing is - that even though I've had to reassure _myself_ of this at times, I don't always think about reassuring you. Things like that always seemed more natural for you."

Maybe it was because she was feeling adventurous, or maybe because his epiphany made her love him even more, but she decided to take advantage of this opportunity to the fullest. He was 'trapped' after all. She moved over so that she rested on his chest, making sure to bring the blanket with her. Her legs were still off to the side and while not 'technically' lying on top of him, she was damn-near close.

He didn't seem to mind; in fact, he seemed quite welcoming. The arm that had been across his forehead now moved down so it was resting on her hip. He didn't even seem bothered when she mirrored his earlier action, brushing her fingers through his hair. What he found most difficult wasn't their sheer closeness, but finding the courage to look into her eyes. It might have been nervousness, or embarrassment, or maybe because as a couple their eyes often betrayed so much that words never could.

Still, he found that strength and, in return, she offered him unexplainable peace.

"Squall, nothing, and I mean nothing, about us seemed natural to me back then…or even now at times. You are never alone in that. I want to able to tell you things, to show you things, but there is always fear holding me back." She continued looking into his eyes, attempting to blink back her own tears. "I'm still scared, Squall. Scared that you'll wake up and regret everything about us, about you being my knight. I'm scared that one day you'll find someone who is so much better for you than I'll ever be… and then I saw that article. After the initial shock wore off, it was like everything I've ever really feared about you, about us. I wanted to be able to laugh about it, but it sorta felt like fate was mocking our relationship."

"I know you're scared, I'm scared as hell too…you already know that. And no, nobody is mocking you - nobody really knows about us outside of Garden."

Reaching with his free hand, he cradled her face gently as fingertips wiped tears from her eyelashes. They had not yet fallen by sheer willpower, he guessed. Squall knew that she was trying to hold back because of him. He never saw her tears as a weakness, but a strength; she showed her emotion openly and to him that was a rare and beautiful gift.

"Rin, our relationship is always going to be a double-edged sword in that respect. I know how much you want to stay out of the spotlight. So, you can't be surprised when you're pushed to the background. As a group, we've all gotten attention since Ultimecia…some of us more than others. You know I don't agree with the headmaster all the time, but I'll give him credit - he's done a good job of keeping things under control. The media tends not to focus on just the six of us who fought, but SeeDs in general – I do get some press, unfortunately, but that's more about my position and not about what we did."

"You talk a lot more than you used to," she wanted to cry but ended up letting out a small laugh instead.

"To you, maybe. I still avoid others when possible, they just don't seem to avoid me."

Their eyes again locked and all the earlier sensations resurfaced once again and the fact that she was pretty much laying on top of him became extremely evident. They were now both under the same blanket, and unlike a few days earlier, there were no time-restraints to stop them. She turned her head, fighting against the overpowering urges and in doing so, caught sight of the magazine. They both were in desperate need of a distraction before emotions became too difficult to bear.

…Of course, seeing him shirtless on the cover wasn't quite the distraction she was searching for.

Swallowing nervously, she reached over and grabbed the magazine. "So, now that we can officially look at this thing and not try not to take it seriously, how about we have a little fun? I seem to recall Selphie specifically telling me about number five on the list. Let's see what award-winning editorial they have on him."

"Who's number five?"

She smiled wryly. "Number five? Well, coming in only four places behind you is - your father. In a sad twist of fate, mine just made it at ninety-nine."

"Shit," he grumbled closing his eyes. "Please, you wouldn't. Please don't."

"Oh, same guy who could only give me his name, rank, and serial number now has resorted to begging me? I think I could get used to this – a lot."

"I'm not begging."

"You will be," she answered with a contemptuous grin. She sat up quickly, grabbing the magazine. He hadn't stopped her as he was hoping that the more humane side of her would kick in. She said she loved him and she wouldn't, _couldn't_ , put him through undue torture – he was sure of it.

He was wrong.

With an overdramatic flair for added effect, she began reading the printed text out load. _"Laguna Loire: this man proves that some things truly do get better with age! Like an expensive wine, the only adjective to describe the Present of Esthar is 'fine.' There are so many reasons why we chose this year's number five bachelor - he's a soldier, a journalist, a President, a savior, but above all, a visionary – he truly is a man of many talents. This reporter just wonders how far those talents extend out of the boardroom and into the bedroom."_

She stopped as the words ended and the horror began…

"Oh God, did I just read that? Why? I feel ill," she laughed, "I mean…considering everything – he, you…well, you know!"

"How do you think _I_ feel? There is no amount of therapy, drinking, or GFs to ever, ever erase those words from my brain. I can't believe you-" He paused suddenly, as mischievously grin spread on his face. She didn't take this extreme mood change as a positive sign in the least. "Oh, wait...didn't you say that your father made the list?"

She let out a sound akin to a squeal. "No, no, no…Squall, please, please...I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I promise I'll listen to everything you say from now on." In a feeble attempt to keep it from him, she held it over her head until he agreed. "Please?"

"Now who's begging?" he teased.

Using his cat-like agility, he sat up and snatched the magazine from her hand without difficulty. In a last-ditch effort, she desperately tried to wrestle with him. The fight was futile. He could have easily overpowered her, but instead just tried to keep her at bay. He flipped through the pages while openly laughing.

She should have just let it go and accept her fate, but she refused to give in. There was a matter of pride at stake, and again a considerable amount of stubbornness.

"You know, I tried to do this the easy way, Rinoa."

In one fluid motion, he set the magazine down while gently flipping and pinning her to the floor. Somehow, his left hand managed to restrain both of hers above her head. He was basically sitting on top of her, legs on either side while not putting any pressure on her. It was an almost-familiar position, on that they had found themselves in from the day she was hired at Garden. Only today they weren't in a conference room – nobody would walk in at any given minute. Neither had really stopped to think about the possible implications as the main focus remained on something else.

Reaching over, he grabbed the issue of Timber Maniacs and skillfully managed to flip the pages with one hand until he found it.

He wasn't overdramatic like she had been, but he couldn't help the constant smirk. _"Fury Caraway: dignity, grace, the epitome of maturity all wrapped into the body of a Galbadian god…"_

She groaned loudly, causing him to stop momentarily and look down at her. "Please, _please_ tell me it doesn't really say that. Do the chivalrous thing – I give you permission to lie to me _just this once_. Just tell me that was your rather dormant creative-streak suddenly coming to life."

"Not a damn chance. Remember, I'm the son of a 'fine' visionary, the least you can do is suffer though being the child of a Galbadian god."

"You and I need to have a long discussion about your sporadic use of chivalry, Sir Knight. Isn't there some kind of code thing that you're sworn to obey?"

"I'm still technically an apprentice knight, so by law I can pick and choose when to follow codes."

"You're _so_ making that part up."

"Yeah, I so am, but what I'm not making up is the rest of this article."

It was nearly impossible not to laugh at her. At this point, she had given up on trying to struggle free and seemingly accepted the fact that she'd be forced to hear this through to the bitter end.

However, it hadn't yet occurred to him that he had stopped thinking about every action. He had stopped analyzing every word. He had done what had felt natural without thinking about how it would be perceived. In the end, he was a boyfriend and she was his girlfriend – and so much more.

… _Two_ steps forward, _no_ steps back.


	15. State of Flux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Following this chapter, I'll be posting a link to a standalone/companion piece of fanfiction to this story. It's been posted here at A03 for a year or so, but this is where it chronologically fits into the series for anyone interested. The story ( **Waking Moments** , linked below) is a filler between chapters 15 and 16 - basically, let's call it _chapter 15 1/2_. Also, I can't believe it's going to be 2015 in a few weeks. Come May, it'll be 14 years in fanfiction for me. Woo hoo! :D

_July 19_ _th_ _ 1:56 a.m. _

The night had been full of so many things – some seemingly familiar and some that would certainly qualify as uncharted territory.

There had always been that sense of awkwardness that lay between sorceress and knight, as every action and reaction was often overly-scrutinized by both parties. It seemed that tonight certain boundaries were being tested and, because of that, both were learning how to define the next chapters of their relationship.

Rinoa had been no stranger to pushing _his_ boundaries at times. Yet tonight, Squall found that it was he, himself, who was equally testing his own limitations. A few months ago, the commander doubted that he would be comfortable enough to have her there past curfew; he couldn't say that he was completely comfortable now, but at least that fact wasn't occupying every waking thought. Over the course of months, he had gradually been learning how to live in the moment and accepting the simple moments of life.

Although tonight some things were anything but _simple,_ all thanks to the article of one magazine _…_

It seemed that this month's issue of the 'Timber Maniacs' was hell-bent on adding its own footnote to their relationship. Honestly, its newest editorial was something that neither would be forgetting for quite some time. Still, neither could say that experience had been all bad. It was because of it that they had found themselves in this position - _literally._

In an effort to garner control, Squall and Rinoa had inadvertently found themselves in a faux wrestling match. If this had been an actual fight, his training most likely would have given him the upper hand. However, given that Rinoa was far from his typical enemy and given their current physical positions, even he would have to admit the scales were tipped slightly in her favor.

Earlier, she had resigned to give up the fight for the magazine, but a newfound energy hit her – along with a strong desire _not_ to hear anymore about Caraway as an eligible bachelor. There was only so much stress she could take in a single night and she was well beyond that limit after waiting in line with Selphie.

With one final strike, she had made a last-ditch-effort to seize it from his hands, but he had easily managed to evade the attack. Although there was one positive result of the assault – the magazine was accidentally knocked out of both of their reach. She had already been pinned in a rather awkward position but without the distraction between them - this fact was quite evident to both.

Rinoa tried to jokingly play off the situation. "I can't believe you did that! I need that thing in mint condition. I had every intention into tricking you into signing the cover and then auctioning it to the highest bidder. I'm still hoping to save enough for a car of my own one day."

"Really, you think somehow I wouldn't notice that I was signing a picture of my bare chest? Not to mention profiting off your boyfriend… That's just low. Sounds like you've been hanging around Selphie too much."

"Hey, I resent that and so would Selphie! … Although, it may be sorta-kinda-true that she did give me the idea, but that's so beside the point right now, mister." Rinoa tried to squirm from his grasp, but at that moment fate intervened. A sharp pain in her calf shot up through her leg and she ended up groaning incoherently. _"Gra-ouch."_

"You hurt?" Still rather puzzled, he looked down at her, simultaneously releasing her hands. "Or just calling me a grouch?"

"Can't it be both?" she said with a mischievous grin, trying to overlook any residual pain. "No, it was just a stupid leg cramp. Apparently, I was unaware a meal with you carried a prerequisite of fifteen minutes of stretching out before hand."

Squall inwardly winced upon hearing the term 'leg cramp.' Damn that stupid magazine and having thoughts of his, to paraphrase, _'fine, talented, visionary'_ father still on his mind. At least he was able to push that to the side rather quickly. Then again, the fact that he was still sitting on top of her might have had something to do with it.

He leaned forward, placing his hands on the floor and daring to move tauntingly closer to her face and softly teased, "Hasn't our training at the beach taught you anything?"

Rinoa bit her lip trying to come across as completely innocent. "Maybe?" She paused briefly before adding, "You mean something like the fact you become speechless at the thought of skinny-dipping and were rather easily fooled?"

Seriously, _that_ was the last thing that he needed to be thinking about right now. She had been joking, of course, but that uncomfortable reminder did nothing for their current situation and made him instinctually turn away. Now his mind could vividly picture the moment when she tossed her 'extra' shirt in front of him and, yes, he was speechless and unable to move. It was a feeling of helplessness he disliked greatly – as this moment was quickly mirroring.

Soon as the words left her mouth, she mentally wanted to kick herself, especially after he had turned away and was unable to look at her. "Sorry," she mumbled apologetically, "I meant to say - _be prepared for anything_ \- that's what you taught me."

Just as many times before, he knew that he was over thinking and she was once again apologizing for being herself. Turning back, he was going to give one of his typical 'it isn't your fault' type answers, but he never managed those words. Instead, the moment he looked into her eyes he was completely aware of everything and somehow a grumbled apology seemed all but irrelevant. Whether it was the lateness of the hour, the lack of sleep, or their position…he instead opted for a much less 'Squall' response.

"Next time we're on the beach, I won't be either speechless or fooled by your suggestions and just like when you promised that 'you'd never take a bath at my place' again, you better be prepared to stand by your words. If you suggest anything like skinny-dipping, I expect you to have the courage to follow through."

Rinoa didn't even have the time to try to wrap her mind around his meaning. It was one of those moments that happened quickly in real life, yet seemed to register only in slow-motion. The last thing she anticipated was him leaning over and kissing her, his actions both tentative and tender. She had not expected for her body to react in such a way or her emotions to be so overwhelming. As his body gently pressed against her, her mind could recall every time they had been in this position and how it always seemed to end before it ever truly began. Even a few days ago they had been in this very apartment, in his bed no less, in a very similar position. However, that day there were mitigating factors and she knew their time would be short-lived as she had been on a work break after all and he was still serving his 'so-called suspension.'

But what was there to truly stop them now?

Her mind kept asking this and knowing his rational side, he was well-aware of this too. Rinoa was already preparing herself for the moment he would regain control. She knew it was always a matter of 'when' rather than 'if' and, in a way, she was thankful for that… But, in the meantime, she couldn't help but let herself get lost in the sensations.

His hands had found themselves traveling the skin of her back, much like the few moments of exploration he allowed himself in Trabia. Still, it all felt new and against all better intuition, he just wanted these moments with her. God, he _needed_ these moments with her.

It was this moment of exploration that led to discovery…which led to questions. As unlike Trabia, this time she was still wearing a bra. As his hands ran over the contours of her back and shoulders, he could feel the material beneath his fingers. He couldn't help thinking how uncomfortable and intrusive it might be, even the fabric seemed like it would be itchy. The thought of this somehow fascinated him, probably more than it should have. As his lips roughly collided with her, he tried to concentrate, although he couldn't shake his newfound fascination with questions of her undergarment.

Unfortunately, he had been unaware that his momentarily lapse in consideration had been obvious. Rinoa could sense that something was bothering him, although she never would have guessed what.

Rinoa's fingertips gently caressed his cheek as she pulled away. Already dreading his answer, she softly posed the obvious question. "Squall, what's wrong?"

His brow furrowed as his actions stopped cold. How in the hell was he going to get out of this one and not sound like completely inept? So, much like the rest of the evening, he tried not think about consequences. So even if he was going to come off sounding like a complete buffoon, he was going to be one-hundred percent completely honest.

"I was just wondering about your bra. Is it uncomfortable? I mean…just thinking about how annoying it would be, I guess."

…He wanted to do nothing more than hide after that.

Rinoa managed to stifle a laugh. It was just that he seemed so sincere about his question that she didn't want to ruin this moment for the world. The fact that he had felt comfortable enough to even ask was beyond anything she could have imagined months ago.

"You get used to it, although some fabrics differ from others, but in general, I don't even think about it anymore… I suppose it's a personal thing though, so I can only answer for myself."

"Ahhh," he answered, nodding his head slowly. "Guess that's good – seems kind of annoying to me."

"Well, it can be at times…" Her voice trailed off as her palm cupped his jaw. Nervously, she said the next words so softly that he wasn't sure if she had actually said them or his mind was just playing games. "The trick can be getting them unhooked, but if you want to try...I wouldn't mind."

Squall wanted to – damn did he want to.

He wanted to unhook it, take it off, and so much more, but the timing wasn't right. He just hoped that whatever he answered with wouldn't completely ruin the mood. "Rinoa, it's just-"

Thankfully, he never had to go further. Rinoa placed a finger over his lips, gently silencing him. "Shhh, it's perfectly fine. No need for explanation. I spoke without thinking."

"No you didn't, not at all. Believe me, I really, really want to - just not quite yet," he said quickly. Again, he surprised himself with his candor as apparently, his mouth was no longer working in conjunction with his mind.

"You know what, like someone said to me, I'm going to hold your word… I expect you to follow through."

She reached her hand around, grasping the back of his neck, and pulled him back down to her - and he willingly complied as their lips again made contact. It seemed that even with this minor setback neither wanted the momentarily closeness to end.

To him, there was something beautiful in her understanding. She was right, no words, no explanations, or no excuses were needed. That was a lesson that both had to learn at times. Truth be told, he was also glad that he could ask her questions, no matter how out-of-the-blue or ridiculous they would sound to others. She didn't laugh or care, she only offered him understanding.

With every kiss he found himself lost between acts of aggression and moments of restraint. If he also dared admit, there was something extremely tempting about the fact that she had given him permission to move forward. As the palm of his hand brushed against the metal clasps of the bra, her earlier offer only taunted him further.

For both of their sakes, he knew this shouldn't go on much longer. He knew what needed to be done; it was only a matter of finding the willpower. Finding the strength, he pulled away. Thankfully, she understood without what would most likely be a pathetic attempt at explanation on his part. She only nodded to him with a sincere smile; he saw no resentment or bitterness in her actions. In fact, he believed he could read the opposite in her eyes.

Rolling onto his back, he urged her to lay her head on his chest. This was a position they had been no stranger to in the past and he was glad when she had willingly accepted his invitation, again all without question. Reaching down, Squall interlocked their fingers - again something he had grown accustomed to over the course of time. This was a moment that both could cool down, regain a normal heartbeat, and remember the simple act of breathing.

Rinoa laid there thinking of just how far they had progressed with their relationship. From a first dance that was awkward at times to breaking curfew and 'making out' (for lack of a better term in her mind) on his apartment floor. She wondered exactly why they had stopped – if it was only because of timing or because neither was prepared. This had been a subject, a tension, that had always been between them, well not _technically_ always, but it was becoming more apparent recently.

She couldn't say how long they had been there – five, ten minutes? Part of her wanted to address the situation of their physical relationship, more importantly the future of it, but somehow every time she wanted to speak, her mind suddenly went numb. She wondered if other couples faced similar problems or if the topic of sex was relatively easy for them. It had come up, albeit briefly, on a few occasions, but it was always in passing.

If in any other circumstance she would have talked to one of her friends. In this particular case, the closest friend in Balamb she could talk to was Selphie, but Selphie and Irvine's relationship was quite literally the polar opposite of her and Squall. Heck, those two probably had the conversation over appetizers on their first date. In a way, Rinoa was envious of that fact – of how easily and openly the subject was to them. Quistis was probably a little bit more reserved than Irvine, but not someone Rinoa wanted to confide in at all. Honestly, if push came to shove, that conversation would probably be a little more awkward than announcing it point blank to Squall. Of course there was Zell, but again, she doubted it would go well. Honestly Squall probably wouldn't want anything discussed with anybody… Which pretty much led her back in circles.

In his silence, she wondered if he was thinking the same thing, wondering how to bring up the topic. It seemed in this case she wouldn't have to wonder much longer.

"Rinoa, I'm not sure how to bring this up, especially after everything tonight…"

Her body tensed, but there was also a sense of relief at least it would be out in the open.

Squall continued, "But do you think you could head back to your room…before anyone sees."

"Oh, okay," she softly agreed outwardly, although inwardly she was at a loss.

It had been her own fault for thinking something different. Then again, truthfully, she honestly didn't want to leave. It was selfish, yes, but she couldn't help the way she felt. "Yeah, I understand… It just seems to me that if anyone sees me in the halls after curfew, pretty good chance they're breaking it too, but I get where you're coming from. Can I ask one favor though? Just a few more minutes, please? It's selfish and stupid, I know, but I want to stay a little longer… I'll go then, promise."

He couldn't find the words to respond, mainly because there was a part of him that wanted her there too, even if it was just the few minutes she requested. He thought it was better for him to leave that thought to himself and remain silent.

Instead, he acknowledged the request by a simple nod, turning her so that she was facing away from him. At that point, he stood up and turned off the overhead light. When he returned he grabbed the blanket that had earlier served as their makeshift tablecloth. Gently, he placed it over her before lying down at her side. Momentarily, he hesitated whether to put the blanket over himself too, but decided under the circumstances, it was best to remain this way. Still, there was no uncertainty when he placed his arm around and held pulled her towards him. His eyes closed as he decided to take this time of closeness for everything it was…if only for a few minutes.

* * *

_July 19_ _th_ _ 6:14 a.m. _

"Wake up."

She barely heard the voice. It was more like a whisper echoing through her subconscious. Her mind often played tricks and this was no different. Plus, it was earlier and the more stubborn part of her brain refused to even acknowledge the words.

So she slept…

"Hey, time to get up."

Nothing. Nada. Not even the bat of an eyelash.

When she still hadn't moved a solitary muscle, he nudged her softly at first, but then a little more. Even in the current situation, the young man couldn't help but stifle a small laugh at her fierce determination. He often had seen that type of grit from her in battle; it was only ironic that this time it showed up in her sleep.

"Rinoa, wake up. I have breakfast... and coffee. Lots of coffee – not decaf either. The good, very strong stuff."

Still, nothing…not even a small groan from the bed's offending occupant. If he hadn't been able to clearly see her breathing there might have been cause for concern – even a Stop or Petrify spell didn't seem out of the question considering.

" _Well, there has to be more than one way to skin-a-cat or, in this case, wake-a-Rinoa,"_ he thought. As 'plan A' had greatly failed, he decided it best to move onto 'plan B.' Leaning down, he had all but given up on the whispering, this time opting for a more authoritative tone. "I was warned back in Timber about you and if you even put on scratch on me, I'm getting a pet tarantula."

Silence.

He sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep. Neither of them had much sleep, but it was quite apparent that Rinoa was not trained in the same way he had been. He couldn't help his small grin as his hand reached out and brushed through her hair.

"Hey, wake up…don't make me repeat the key phrases of – Fury Caraway and body of a Galbadian God." Her only response was continued silence. "Fine, we'll obviously have to do this hard way. You've forced me to move onto plan C."

This situation had suddenly called for drastic measures. Personally, he wondered how one person could sleep so soundly in another's bed. Then again, the concept getting any sort of decent rest had often escaped him. It was most likely due to the nature of his work and years of training, but a good-night's-rest was considered a rarity to him.

This morning he felt rather adventurous, which in this regard was also a rarity for him. Maybe it was from some newfound exhilaration from taking this chance or maybe it was finally going from beyond the norms of his traditional conduct. Either way, he was starting to feel that living in the moment and just accepting her presence had its upside.

Standing up, he noiselessly walked to the end of the bed and un-tucked all the blankets. Reaching his hand under the sheet, he ran his fingertips across the bottom of her right foot, before going into a full-blown tickle.

"Spider!" he shouted rather loudly.

She kicked both legs vigorously in a futile attempt to impede the advances.

"Damn it, stop it!" she cried agitated from under the blankets, although Squall could swear she was still soundly asleep while cursing at him. Now that he had distracted her enough, he could proceed with his main plan as that had only been the decoy attack. It was in that second 'the lion' pounced on his prey, pinning her to the bed. Even with him laying over her, she only half woke from her slumber.

… _The girl could sleep._

"Squall?" she questioned groggily.

"Would you be expecting someone else?"

"Huh, wha-? Who?" she muttered in her confusion.

It was that minute the realization hit her and her eyes fluttered open. There was something unfamiliar about _everything_ – from mattress, to the sheets, to even the man staring down at her. She certainly didn't know who he was at the moment. However, being aware of her surrounds had helped her shake most of the lingering sleep. Not to mention the fact that her boyfriend was literally holding her down on the bed. Something very un-Squall-like to say the least then again he had been full of surprises lately. She would have sat up, or tried to move, but the part that could process pertinent information, given the early hour, was content being the powerless quarry.

"So, care to explain?" Rinoa tried to look around, but instead was majorly distracted in the 'scenery' directly in her line-of-sight. It was then that a sudden realization dawned on her and what her being in his apartment could possibly mean. "Oh god, Squall… I was here all night…I shouldn't have been."

It appeared that with her words, he fell back into normal patterns. She could visibly notice as his expression changed; the person from just a second ago seemed to be fading. If she hadn't felt so guilty about staying she would have been upset over this lost opportunity, but even she knew how this could turn against him. She was the one who wanted for a few minutes, yet today, she wished that she had never asked – moreover, that he had never answered.

With a deep breath, he rolled off of her and back to his previous position sitting on the bed. Squall Leonhart was no longer the playful lion; instead, he had reverted back into Balamb's serious commander.

Even if these moments were 'short-lived' they were still 'lived.' Hopefully both would move forward with those thoughts. Even as he sat there and was about to explain, he just couldn't find it in himself to get that upset. The last few days truly had been steps forward. It was with that huge revelation that he turned back to her, offering a small, reassuring smile.

"We both ended up falling asleep on the floor last night. I honestly didn't think there was any way I possibly could… _but I did_. I woke up a few hours later and, given the time, you going back to your room seemed rather arbitrary. At that time, curfew technically had under an hour to go. So...carried you in here and then I went back to floor for a while. I can't believe you didn't wake up…at all."

"How much trouble is this going to cause…am _I_ going to cause?" She shook her head at the possibilities. As much as she wanted it to, even his smile couldn't reassure her that she wasn't to blame. "I never meant to – I'm so sorry."

"It's not you, don't even think that. This was my choice." He couldn't believe he was saying that; he couldn't believe he believed that. It might have taken some time, and there would still be setbacks, but it was only what they knew that mattered. The truth. "If I was really worried about it I would have never called you last night. I'll take responsibility for what I've done."

"But Squall…"

The hunter once again returned, well, _sort of._ Rolling back onto the bed, Squall laid down and propped himself up with one elbow. And just like the night before, it was now his turn to silence her by pressing a finger to her lips.

"Shh… Seriously, Rin, you know it's been different around here since the Garden Faculty left. I know people will talk, but they always did and always will. Besides, you were still _technically_ in a room by curfew…or somewhere there about."

"That's not funny."

"I'm just stating the facts... And look, if I'm the one reassuring you about consequences, well, take that for what it's worth. I promise things are different."

Hearing him through, she realized that his last comment had two possible meanings and he didn't mean the most obvious. "Things are different," she reassured with a smile.

His comment wasn't about the state of Garden; it was about their relationship.

He was grateful that she let it drop at that. Reaching over, he mockingly tugged on her pillow as if he was going to pull it out from under her. "I'd ask you how you slept, but I think the answer is extremely apparent."

"I slept perfectly," she answered, closing her eyes enjoying the moment for one last second. "I don't think I've felt so rested for a very, very long time. In a way, everything kind of turned out well - _perfect_ … Although, I can't shake this nagging feeling that there's a nest of spiders or something nearby. Seriously, I've always managed to get gut feelings about these types of things in the past. Any chance of possibly, _maybe_ , getting an exterminator to come out again?

"Spiders, huh? I'll look right into that." He managed with a straight face, although it was becoming increasingly difficult.

She squinted her eyes at him. "Somehow… I feel like I'm missing something here and you're enjoying this at my expense."

"Me?"

"Whatever, I give up, guess you've forced me to move on to plan C," she groaned, quickly tiring of his evasiveness. "Oh, one last favor about the exterminator, this time can you preferably not hire one that wears stilettos and skin-tight dresses? Still not sure how you picked her...must have had an impressive ad in the phone book, right?"

"I'm not ever living _that_ down, am I? Anyway, as I already explained back then, I'd given her permission to stay and enjoy Zell's birthday party. It's not like she wore that to do her job in…I had no clue what she'd be wearing afterwards…or _wouldn't_ be wearing afterwards. Then again, Irvine spoke highly of her, which might have been my first clue."

"First and _last_ clue, Leonhart! First and Last!"

He shrugged as if conceding her point. "You're right, who would wear heals that high and a skirt that short to a SeeD event?"

She grabbed the pillow from under her, playfully giving him a much-deserved smack and repeated his earlier sentiment. "And I'm never living _that_ down, am I? That's it, I'm getting up and you better have a pot of coffee brewing."

Sitting up, Rinoa paused briefly, again making eye contact. "Squall, I mean _seriously_ strong coffee, no-decaffeinated crap…something tells me I'm going to need all the 'caffeinated' I can get to make it through today. I keep getting these weird mental images of Caraway, dressed as one of those gods from those legends, and then holding a tarantula, a pet maybe? Don't ask, I have no idea how my mind comes up with this stuff."

He shook his head. It was better not to even venture a guess into the inner workings of her mind, but then he realized something…

It might have been chalked up to one of the most amazing coincidences ever, but he doubted that. Rinoa had unknowingly repeated several of his words back to him. The things he had whispered to her earlier now seemed to be breaking from a subconscious state into a conscious one. He was most likely making too much of this; she probably wasn't in as deep of sleep as he had originally thought.

There would be time to piece this together later. But for now, he couldn't have agreed with her more, he just needed coffee…and lots and lots of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally written in 2011. For my ten year anniversary in fanfiction, I wrote a standalone/one-shot that takes place in the morning directly after this chapter. I do reference parts of it later, so if you're following the story, it's fairly easy to find. For those who want to check it out, it can be found here at A03 - [Waking Moments](http://archiveofourown.org/works/197406). Just a bit of random fun - Squall, Rinoa, coffee, and Saturday morning cartoons. 
> 
> *For those who have accounts at ffnet, I had posted it under my "Eternal Tiet" account and not the Ashbear one. I only mention that to avoid any confusion with the names. :)


	16. Infinite Regress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Reminder:** This chapter directly follows 'Waking Moments' which is a standalone piece that's posted here under Ashbear or at ffnet under my Eternal Tiet penname. It doesn't have to be read, but there are some references scattered throughout. Sorry for any confusion; sadly confusion has become my best friend. :D Also, I have the pieces in their own collection here at A03 listed on the side bar. It's called _"Dancing in Time - The First Year"_ which currently has three works. For anyone who was curious, the order goes something like this:
> 
> 1.) Dancing in Time (30 chapters)  
> 2.) Endless Waltz (Chapters 1 to 15)  
> 3.) Waking Moments (Standalone. One piece)  
> 4.) Endless Waltz Cont (Chapter 16 to ?)

_ July 19th 10:54am _

There was something quite unnatural about all of this.

It wasn't the fact he was only eighteen and commanding an elite force of mercenaries. Nor was it the fact that he was a knight to his girlfriend who, with the proper training, could take down a Blue Dragon with a single spell. It wasn't even the fact that he had traveled through time, been lost in space, or given an Elixir to an alien that had an unhealthy addition to them.

No, all those things seemed completely normal to him.

Instead, what felt completely wrong was showing up at his office at 11:00 am on a Saturday morning. He glanced at the clock again, needing to reassure himself that his eyes weren't playing tricks. In less than fifty-five minutes, it would be noon… and that fact felt far from natural.

To Squall, it didn't matter that it was the weekend as all days had long since blurred together. Any other time he would have been here at least five hours before - four if he was pushing the envelope and slept in.

Of course, there had been times in the past where he couldn't make it in; his trips to Dollet and Winhill with Rinoa came to mind, but that was the key – he was away, although in spirit, he was constantly processing, filing, and shredding paperwork in his mind.

Sadly, the process had been happening slowly over the last year. He often tried his best to compartmentalize his thoughts but it often proved difficult. There was such a need to do his best; the drive had always been there and while it was just him it was one thing, but now it was him, Rinoa, and the entire populous of Garden. He didn't truly need to be here on the weekends, but he couldn't stop himself either. He knew that eventually something would have to give, but right now - for good or bad- this was his routine.

Taking a deep breath, he took a seat at his desk and started leafing through today's calendar. There were no real meetings on the schedule; he long since learned that the world didn't share his inexplicable need to show up to work every day.

He envied them.

He hoped that one day he could move past this inner compulsion; he hoped for that first holiday where he could spend time away and truly _be away_ and not run off to the hotel's business center to check emails.

Someday, maybe someday…

Turning on his computer, he decided that he'd pencil in a time to brood later; it wasn't on his calendar for today. As he waited for the computer to boot, he caught sight of the flashing light on the telephone. That taunting message light was the only thing that seemed to be in the office as much as he was.

Grabbing a nearby pencil and paper he hit the buttons on his speakerphone. _"You have twenty-six new messages and three saved messages. Please, hit 'one' to listen to the first new message."_

Joy.

He hoped that the computerized voice had miscounted greatly – if not, this was some cosmic joke gone horribly awry. Looking up, he saw the group photograph that sat on his desk. One of those Selphie gifts that was taken at the post-Ultimecia party. Shaking his head he looked at Rinoa's picture.

"Oh sure, stay, have some coffee, watch television. _Relax_. It's Saturday morning, how much work can you miss?" he mimicked Rinoa's earlier words to him.

"You're probably getting a kick out of this, aren't you?" he questioned, still looking at the photo; not once stopping to ponder why he was carrying on a two-conversation with a picture of his girlfriend.

"Is it some type of divine retribution for me questioning the logic behind the Triface chasing the Gold Chocobo around the desert? You know… I can hear you now telling me 'it serves me right' for arguing the physics behind a children's cartoon."

He honestly had no idea why he was talking out loud. Nobody else was there – the entire area was clear - maybe it was too quiet. Or maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that wanted to leave, wanted to go back to his room, and watch that ridiculous, illogical cartoon with her for no reason at all. Maybe he was talking 'with her' because he wanted to talk to her.

"Whatever," he muttered irritated with himself, although sarcastically adding, "Again, who the hell straps rockets on their skates and markets it for children."

With another deep breath, the thinnest trace of a smile graced his lips. He had enjoyed this morning. All of it: her company, the gourmet cereal breakfast, and even the absurd cartoon, but he'd be damned to admit that fact to anyone.

Still, no point in thinking about what he wanted to be doing. The only thing that was important is what he should be doing and those messages certainly weren't going to play themselves.

" _Commander Leonhart, this is Erica Rivers calling from the Balamb Gazette. We are interested in doing a follow-up piece to you recently being named by Timber Maniacs as the "World's Sexiest Bachelor."_

The minute he heard the words, everything came flooding back. So much for his ability to compartmentalize; that was a piece of information that he had mentally put in the shredder, wanting to forget permanently. The fact he had managed to put it out of his mind for even a few hours was an amazing; he swore if he ever saw whoever was in charge of that godforsaken magazine he'd tar and Chocobo feather them.

The woman continued on like it was some heavy-hitting piece of journalism. _"We would like to do a human interest piece. We know you rarely grant interviews, but would love to show our readers who you are as a person beyond the titles and accolades. Please call me at-"_

He cut her off. There was no way in hell.

" _Mr. Leonhart, this is Randallé Q. calling from the Boy Next Door. We'd love to talk to about posing nude for-"_

He hit the delete button so quick, he almost broke the phone. Unfortunately, what was heard could not be unheard.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Not that the commander was big on causal profanity, but in some occasions it seemed called for - this was one of those times.

Running hand through his hair, he tried to convince himself not to pull it out in frustration. As he stared at the phone, he wondered where this nightmare would end and the rest of his life could begin. Was this what his future at Garden consisted of? An endless stream of red blinking lights filled with messages?

In this case, listening to the next message seemed like a far bigger gamble than jumping into time-compression.

Still, it had to be done…

Fifteen requests for interviews, seven requests for dates, four marriage proposals, and a salesman pushing fax machine toner later, his mailbox now sat empty. The worst part - today was Saturday. Who knew how badly his telephone would light up during on the first weekday?

Most of the messages could be erased after the first one or two sentences, thankfully. A few took a tad longer, some rambling on before getting down to their bare-boned stupidity. That brought up another on-going pet peeve between him and the rest of society; he wished people had the common sense to be direct, especially in a business setting. But no, it seemed the vast majority of people calling him forgot how to make a point - something he'd nickname the 'Zell syndrome.'

He looked back to group picture on his desk, mentally having to laugh when he saw the martial artist posing with his friends while holding a hotdog in each hand. At the party, Zell refused to set them down for even a second… ironically, his meat addiction was the only thing he could be direct about. There was no pausing, hem-hawing, or needless banter when it came to asking about the cafeteria's current supply. He would never admit out loud, but he really was glad to have these guys around, quirks and all, they helped him keep his sanity.

His earlier scowl had all but disappeared. He looked at Rinoa's picture again, but this time decided to forgo 'their' earlier one-sided conversation. After listening to those ridiculous messages, he couldn't help but think about the first time Rinoa _attempted_ to leave something on his voice mail. She was still in Timber and they always seemed to be playing phone tag.

The fact was - what irritated him in others, he often found endearing from her. Most of the time, there were limits. Take her message – she knew him well enough to know he preferred directness, but in all her nervousness, she couldn't help her random blather. She didn't even think he'd listen past a line or two, which given his history was a rather accurate assumption.

But he _did_ make it past the first line and every one after that. He knew he was being silly (Rinoa would insist on 'sentimental') but after two dozen or so half-baked messages, he wanted to hear one positive one.

" _First saved message - March 9th 10:17am."_

He looked out his door, for some reason he felt this innate need to make sure he was alone. The last thing he needed was someone catching him in the act of being 'sentimental.'

" _Hey, just me... I know you hate me calling you at work. I thought that maybe there was an off chance that I might catch you. I should know better by now… and I probably should know better than to leave you a message. I know how busy you are - it's like you're constantly rushed off from one place to another and the last thing you need is my rambling on. But here I am doing it anyhow… I, uh, just wanted to…"_

There was a pause. He could always tell that she was trying to pick her words wisely; afraid that somehow she would say the wrong thing and offend him. He never wanted her to feel that way, but she often did…

Her voice continued to remain upbeat, even through the obvious hesitation. _"I know it's only been a week since my birthday… and I probably shouldn't have bothered you. …Yeah, now I'm sounding like this super-needy, clingy girlfriend calling… but it's just that."_

Another pause before she said the next words in one quick breath. It was like if she said them fast, he wouldn't upset. " _It's-that-I-really-miss-you."_

She chuckled nervously. _"There. I said it, but also scarred your ego for life, right? I just… it's hard being so far apart. Timber is great, but it's not… never mind. I've probably already sufficiently freaked you out. You caught me - that's my evil, fiendish plan. Okay, okay I'm just being silly now – I'm trying so hard to not let all this get to me. I guess… I just hope that one day we can see each other more than once a month,_ _but that requires money first. I'm still looking for a paying job, but apparently nobody seems to want to hire an inexperienced eighteen-year-old with a four-legged dependent who demands only the best in food. Oh well, maybe someday someone I'll find something that pays better than the donuts and coffee I get volunteering here. Until then, Diva Doggie will have to make do with generic dog food. Anyway, I got my voice back completely, but guess that's obvious – too obvious - and the tonsils, or rather the lack thereof, are healing nicely."_

She was laughing again after that, he loved the way she laughed. He often acted irritated, but he rarely was.

" _Oh, forgot to tell you Cid left a message the other day, but I missed his call. He probably needs me to sign yet another non-disclosure agreement. Seriously? Can you SeeDs do anything without it ending up with a mountain of paperwork? Kidding, kidding. …And I just realized how long and random this message is and ten Gil says you never even hear more than the twenty words. But, if that's the case, I might as well be sappy - I hope someday it won't be like this, maybe instead of a month we can do dinner once a week. Dare to dream, right? But until that day, know that I'm thinking of you… and I really do miss ya. Bye."_

The message was a little over four months old, but yet it felt like a lifetime ago. He had almost forgotten what their relationship was like; sometimes it took a jolt like this to think about how far they'd come. True, his day-to-day schedule hadn't changed much, but it was the small things that made all the difference.

Even when she first started at Garden they wouldn't always see one another, even though they were on the same floor. Over the last month or so he had made a conscious effort to at least acknowledge her daily. Maybe it was a simple 'hello' walking by or saying a word or two when he was grabbing some coffee. The funny thing was – he had changed his route to walk by, it certainly wasn't the most efficient path. Also, he didn't need to get a coffee in the kitchenette; he had a pot in office but often 'ran out' of grounds or filters.

Their daily interaction wasn't always major; it wasn't something that lead to deeply-rooted daily conversations around the water cooler, but there something to just knowing they were close.

It was a stark contrast to the person he just heard on the phone; the person whose biggest hope seemed to be the idea of seeing him at least once a week. The person that he would've flat-out refused to use the term girlfriend to describe because of the implications.

Yet, the day he had heard that message he didn't stop it; the thought never crossed his mind. He wasn't irritated or upset, mad or indifferent; he just had wanted to talk to her, upset that he missed her call. He had missed her too and yet, besides the day at the hospital, he couldn't bring himself to say those words to her.

If he couldn't say those words, how would he be able to say anything more? Then again, Rinoa knew that he missed her… Maybe Rinoa could go her entire life without hearing how he really felt, but could he go his whole life without saying it?

Between Rinoa staying last night, the article-from-hell, and the bevy of messages, he needed to do something a little more intense than paperwork. He might come back later, but right now he needed to take his frustrations out on the nearest T-Rexaur.

"Screw this," he muttered angrily to himself. He pushed back his chair to get up, but when he looked up a shadowed figure stood in the doorway. It was worse than the feeling of déjà vu; it was a carbon copy of her visit from night visit.

Quistis smiled. "And I see you're having a good day, Mr. Leonhart?"

His eyes narrowed. "Stop doing that."

The last thing he needed or wanted was unsolicited advice. Then again, it was her advice that lead him to his impromptu picnic last night. Still, her dropping by was something he had to nip before it became a habit.

"I wasn't stalking, promise. As I said, last night I was dropping something off and I only stopped by after seeing your light… But yes, today I was trying to find you. Logic dictated you'd be in one of two places. I checked the training center first, but came up empty. Process of elimination said this was the next place to look."

She let out a small laugh, "You're right... When I hear myself saying it that way, it sounds a little stalker-ish. I was worried about a friend. That's all."

"Congratulations, you found me. I'm fine. No need to worry. Satisfied?"

He hadn't meant to be quite that harsh, but he was growing tired of all his friends thinking they were his 'twenty-four hour relationship hotline.' Often, he felt more like a damn community service project than a leader. Not to mention, last time he checked, Rinoa wasn't some relationship expert either. She often said she was a clueless about serious relationships as he was and her track record more than proved that. But he didn't see them tracking her down, only to stand in her doorway and force her to talk about 'her feelings.'

"Yes, I guess I am," she replied curtly before turning to walk away.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering where the hell those thoughts came from. He was angry. He was frustrated. Worse yet, he was mentally lashing out at Rinoa for no reason, besides his inability to manage his own stress level. Honestly, he was _glad_ that she was just as clueless; he loved being able to fumble through this with her every step of the way. He wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He was ashamed at himself for even thinking such a thing.

"Wait." With his head bowed and voice low, there was no way that his words could have projected so she'd hear. Simply saying it didn't make it better, it had to be heard. Looking up, he called out to her louder. "Quistis, wait."

Stopping, she seemed to hesitate before turning around. One part of her wanted to walk away - he was being a jerk. The other part of her was glad that he seemed to be taking a step forward. Of course, she also had to turn around if no other reason than for curiosity's sake.

Since Rinoa's arrival, one thing that had changed: Quistis found that she didn't try to sugarcoat her opinions. If he was being a jerk, she'd let him know. Before, she would write it off, trying to smooth things over so he wouldn't be upset with her.

"Are you going to continue to be an asshole?"

"I don't know." His answer was blunt, but truthful. "I could lie and say I won't. The most I can promise is I'll try… I'm honestly not used to people wanting to help without expecting something in return."

She sighed in defeat. "Fine. But I'm calling you out if you even start being asshole-ish."

"Deal." Now it was his turn to extend an olive branch. It wasn't quite a smile, but the scowl had completely disappeared. "You checked a little too soon. I was just headed to the training center. Feel up to going a few rounds with T-Rexaur?"

"Always. I'll just need to swing by my room – give me a few and I'll meet you there."

He shrugged. "I'll walk with you. I could use the exercise."

He didn't of course, but in his mood he'd be likely to bite off the head off anyone who looked at him wrong. In that regards, Quistis was glad he would have something to take his aggravation out on besides the residents of Garden. Honestly, between the magazines and the gossip, he was going to need it.

* * *

There was something pathetically desperate about playing with a blade of grass. As Rinoa sat on the lawn, knees to her chest, she had focused all her attention on the hapless piece of grass; the poor thing had the misfortune to grow at the wrong place at the wrong time.

She had been trying her best to not over think, but it was impossible; she blamed it on Squall. Everything from the night before seemed so vivid that her body simply wouldn't let her forget. In frustration, she had ripped a small handful of grass before flicking it away, equally as irritated. One stray defiant blade had remained in the palm of her hand and, instead of brushing it off, she took it from her palm and studied it.

Rinoa also could have sworn that half of the students in the Quad were staring at her; it was that pathetic. Here she was huddled under a tree and staring at a piece of grass as if it held all the answers to life's tough questions. She had soon grown bored of that – it was staring at piece of grass after all – and decided to see how small of knot she could put in it. Still, even twisting grass couldn't keep her mind off her problems.

She wanted to talk to Squall; _needed_ to talk to him, but finding the right time to broach this subject seemed impossible. In her experience, it wasn't exactly breakfast conversation, again with the possible exception of couples like Irvine and Selphie – as maybe topics like birth control were something they could openly discuss while salting eggs or sprinkling sugar on grapefruit.

Damn, now she wanted a grapefruit.

This is exactly how her life had gone lately; her mind never focusing on one subject for long. Her scattered thoughts jumped around endlessly and most of the time they landed on something as random as grapefruit.

Well, that wasn't entirely true – often her thoughts always seemed to make their way back to that one specific topic. It's also why she called someone, needing desperately to talk.

And those were her 'big plans' for a Saturday afternoon - seeing if she could make a small bow out of grass, wishing she had a damn grapefruit, and waiting on someone. All so she could talk about a subject she didn't want to talk about – but wanted and needed to talk about and it was that logic that pretty much summed everything up. This honestly felt like it was becoming the longest twenty minutes known to mankind…

_Finally._

A wave of relief washed over as she saw Selphie bounding through the Quad. When Rinoa had called, her friend gleefully stated she'd be down there quicker than a 'Tonberry's tail.' Apparently, that was some unit to measure time in Selphie's world but, for the rest of society, it was just under twenty-five minutes. Hastily, Rinoa tossed the grass away, smiling to her friend. She didn't exactly want to explain, nor hear any comparisons to cherry stems, then again Irvine wasn't there.

As Selphie neared, Rinoa had to convince herself she was strong enough to do this. How did this became so hard? It seemed easy for the rest of the world. There was no doubt that Selphie would never violate her trust, that is, if Rinoa could even get herself to open up.

"Good afternoon or should I say it's a _gooood_ afternoon?" Selphie drawled out as she flopped down, sitting in front of her friend.

"…What?" Rinoa's smile fell.

Even though her friend hadn't meant anything by it, there was something implied. Maybe Selphie had just been around Irvine too long or maybe she really did mean something… Worse yet, maybe Rinoa had felt guilty and jumped to conclusions because of it. In truth, she had no reason to feel guilty, but again she and Squall weren't everybody.

"Sorry. That was rude." Selphie was genuinely sympathetic. "I forgot these things are harder for you to talk about, but it was a pretty big step and all. I was excited for you guys, but I shouldn't have said it like that."

"…What step?" No, just no.

"Staying all night? I mean, I'm really happy, but kinda wished I had heard it from you. Then again, you did call me to talk… So strike that last comment. My track record for saying the right things is not-so-hot today."

Rinoa was on the verge of hyperventilating. She had not 'jumped' to any conclusions, apparently 'the conclusions' had already been reached as they made their rounds and with Garden's cattiness and negativity; it was definitely the wrong ones.

"Rinoa?" Selphie moved to her friend's aid, scooting over and patting her back softly. "Breathe. Oh god, I'm sorry… I just thought that's why you wanted to talk. I was honestly so happy for you."

"Who?" Rinoa managed between gasps, "Who did you hear it from? And what? What are they saying?"

"Irvine," she answered sympathetically.

Selphie had a completely different mindset about these things; sometimes she had to step back to remember that not everyone was as comfortable.

"How did he? _Why_ would he even think…?"

"All Irvine told me was that last night Zell had given Squall some hotdogs and he'd invited you over for a late-night dinner. I totally thought it was so sweet of Squall… So...didn't think it was a secret or anything."

"Zell? It was about the food… That's all?" Rinoa looked up with a ray of hope. That wasn't so bad and it _was_ true; she couldn't be upset over people thinking she had an amazing boyfriend.

"That's all _Zell_ said." Selphie looked away for a second. "But um, at breakfast I overheard… Well, it's going around you spent the night with the commander in his room… And left this morning in the same clothes. But you know us being friends and all nobody would dare say anything directly to me. I'd only overheard a little in the breakfast line before someone whispered to shut up. There was something about an address, but _duh_ , we live at Garden. I think we all can safely assume where Squall's place is. I'm sorry that everyone thinks that you two don't need privacy."

"It's not your fault… I kept thinking everyone was looking at me more than usual. Guess I was right. I guess me trying to deny it would be useless… And a lie."

"So does that mean…?" Selphie prompted.

"I ended up sleeping in Squall's bed, but he wasn't in it. Zell's right. It was dinner, but that's it."

"Oh… that's cool too. I mean that dinner was it."

"Well, not it-it. We just didn't do it. But _we_ … You know, a little of this and that. Just not that- _that._ That's why I called – in case of _that._ You know?"

"Stop." Putting her hand up, Selphie had to stop this before it got any worse. If it even was possible to get worse after that. "You know it takes a lot to confuse me, but um yeah… So I'm going to use my years of linguistics training in an attempt to decipher that. I'm kind of thinking it's something like this, _'You stayed last at Squall's after you had dinner. You messed around, but no sex. You either wanted to or came close and that's why you're flustered.'_ Oh yeah, and it's also why you called me."

"Wow." She truly found herself impressed.

"Hehe." Selphie giggled. "Now you know about my 'mad skillz.' How else do think I'm able to understand Zell when he's stuffing his mouth full of hotdog parts?"

Rinoa smiled. At least she had been distracted for a second. Unfortunately, a second didn't last long enough… It never did.

"It's just now everybody thinks that Squall and I - well _you know_."

"Had sex, had sex, had sex," Selphie repeated like a mantra. "Really it's not that hard to say. I think you'll start to feel more comfortable about all of this once you get past the hang-up. That starts by saying 'sex' and not _it,_ _that,_ _you know,_ or _whatever._ Wait, never call sex 'whatever' with Squall, that's wrong. Still, my point stands."

"Fine," Rinoa took a breath, maybe it was just mental. "Now everybody thinks we had sex."

"See, that was easy, right? But as far as what everyone thinks – a few points."

Selphie held up a finger, counting her points. "First, and foremost who the hell cares? Your sex life isn't their business. So why should you care what they think? Their thoughts don't matter, it's only what you and Squall _know_. If you get hung up on what all these gossiping-Geezards think, your life becomes thousand times more complex."

"Second, you landed Squall Leonhart!" Selphie added a second digit to the count. "A good portion of the student body wants to have sex with him… And you did. Well, you _didn't,_ but according to what they think you did. So awesome job, Rin! Don't be embarrassed by it, be glad about your relationship and how you two care about each other."

Adding a third finger, she made her final point. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you number three, but you need to realize this… Everybody thought you guys did it _a long_ time ago. You two having sex is old news to everyone – everyone but you two that is. They just think last night was the first time you were ballsy enough to stay at Squall's place. That's pretty major in their book."

"…Ballsy?" Rinoa barely choked out the word. That felt so wrong to say, but hearing Selphie say too seemed just as wrong.

"Sorry… That was Irvine's term this morning," she replied sheepishly. "I've really been hanging out with him and Zell way too much. Random comment time - the three of us girls need to have a spa day or something. But I'm totally going off topic."

"No. No. That's a better topic, considering…"

"Well, considering that's _not_ why you called me down here to meet you, I'd say it's not important, but _something_ is. This is about what _almost_ happened, right? So out with it."

"I have an appointment with Dr. Kadowaki and I'm nervous."

"Dr. Kadowaki and sex? Two topics that I wouldn't want to put together." A light bulb went off in the young SeeDs head.

"Duh, Selph, of course they do! Think girl, think!" She slapped her forehead. "Okay, sorry, minor stupid moment… Anyway, it can seem scary, but she's really cool about this stuff. She'll explain all the options to you and I promise she won't judge. I mean, Garden is more open about this than most places."

"Definitely more open than the way I was raised."

"I'm sure it is. Caraway seems like he'd be… Well, let's just say I get where you're coming from, but really it's different here. They're more about education than abstinence. If you've even read the rules on conduct it states something like, 'Take time thinking things through before starting a relationship' and the only other mention is like, 'Kids who engage in violence, sexual promiscuity, may be expelled.' It's about extremes; they just want you to mentally be able to handle anything from violence to sex… I mean same place that gave us alcohol at Graduation isn't expecting us to be perfect. They just want us to know when those things are appropriate."

"It's hard to think Squall grew up in the same system as you and Irvine."

"Well, maybe. I mean everything can be open to interpretation. If you'd ask Squall I'm sure he'd give you a completely different outlook. And Rin, it's not exactly because they think you're having sex – it's because it's with Squall. Certain people are put on pedestals on here, like Squall and Quistis; I mean nobody would have batted an eyelash if Irvine and I had been in your place." Selphie paused, trying to keep this lighthearted. "So yeppers, don't worry about Dr. K. It's not too bad and has lollipops on her desk. True, they might be meant for the younger kids, but there's no law or anything."

"Thanks for being you, I need that right now." She reached over, giving her friend a hug. Selphie was right, she was too worried about what everyone thought. "It's just that everything moved so fast, I mean with the doctor not Squall." Why Rinoa felt the need to qualify that she couldn't say. "Anyways, I, um, stopped by the infirmary after I got home and changed. I'm not even sure why - _maybe_ to schedule an appointment… I wasn't even sure what I was going to say… I thought if I made an appointment for next week or something, it would give me a little time. She was there and I just… I just couldn't explain, I think she was worried. Go figure. Anyway, she had an opening later today and I couldn't come up with something fast enough to wuss out. I mean it's on a Saturday. Who does that?"

"Well, unlike Squall, apparently Dr. Kadowaki likes to move fast." The SeeD looked over to her friend and was glad to see that she was laughing. "Sorry, you just dangled that right in front of me, I couldn't resist. And yeah, with SeeD's scheduling, there's something open pretty much all days of the week."

This felt very surreal. There was no reason she shouldn't be able to talk about this. Here she was eighteen, working, and on her own, not that any of those things truly mattered, but it showed how far she had come. She also knew Selphie didn't need the details, but Rinoa needed to talk this through for herself.

"I found out a few months ago that I could get pregnant. I wasn't sure, not that it's anything I'm even thinking about right now. Still, because I can, it means we need to take precautions. After last night, I want to be ready. Not that it has to happen anytime soon, I'm not saying that… Then again, I'm not saying it's not either. I'm just saying, I want to be prepared."

In hindsight, she wished she'd just opted to discuss the weather.

"I'm so glad you can have kids… I mean, if and when, at least it will be your choice." She genuinely was happy for her friend. It was one of those things in the back of her mind, especially when she saw the sorceress interacting with kids. Even though Rinoa never talked about it, Selphie sensed that having kids and the whole family-thing was important to her friend. Again, as with everything else - _in time_.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?" the younger girl asked, "Feel any better getting that out?"

"Yes, I do … And it wasn't that bad once I started talking. I knew you'd understand – like you said once, keeping in mind who your boyfriend is."

Selphie laughed knowingly. "I'm sure _this_ is a topic that could keep him entertained for hours. If you want his advice, I'm sure he'll be more than happy, diagrams probably mandatory."

"I, um, yeah no thanks. Diagrams? I really don't want to know."

"We all have hobbies, right?" She jokingly nudged Rinoa with her elbow. "So again don't stress, Rin, it's not bad at all - nothing to be nervous about. I guess the real question I have is does Squall know?"

"Um…not so much," she stopped to correct herself. "Well, maybe? Kinda yes, sorta no?"

"Great, that clears it up, completely." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, we've talked about things… more in passing. After he found that I could have kids he mentioned we'd have to be careful."

"Yeah, but being careful with Squall may mean not leaving the gunblade laying around loaded." Selphie went into full-blown laughter, leaving her friend dumbfounded. Selphie looked up, trying to keep a straight face. "S-Sorry… Again, remembering who my boyfriend is – I just realized how that could be taken. You know, if the gunblade was referring to-"

"Stop! I get it, I get. Please for the sake of our friendship and my sanity, don't finish that."

"Party pooper!"

Of course she had been joking, but Selphie really did think talking to Squall was important. "I guess no matter how awkward it is you should tell him about the appointment. I just think a relationship comes down to communication and, because it's Squall, that goes double. If this was some random subject that was only mentioned in passing - _and we're talking a few months ago_ \- I don't think that qualifies as 'talking about it' ...at least, not in the Squall-verse. It's like saying to an old friend 'let's do lunch' but never calling. Yeah, the idea is out there in the universe, but it doesn't mean it's real. Squall is the kind of person that needs _real._ If he asked someone for lunch, he'd make sure the day, time, and place were set in stone before he left. It's not a bad approach on life at all, just a Squall one. I doubt he'd care, it's your choice in the end, but it does involve your relationship."

"Thanks, I think I just needed someone to talk this through with. No, I know I did." Selphie was right. She could wait, but the problem wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

"No prob. That's why I'm here. That and to blow things up, but I digress."

She hesitated, maybe she didn't want to know, but the damage was already done. Like Selphie said, it was time to come to terms with things.

"Selph, can I ask you something? The rumors about Squall and I... When did we supposedly sleep together?"

Selphie shook her head, baby steps, maybe one day she could get Rinoa to say 'sex' without sugar coating it, although she had to make a small jab at the reference. "Well, _sleeping_ together, I'm not sure but, as far as 'sex,' it was the night of the SeeD graduation ball, apparently."

"Wow. Yeah… That seems about right. Considering the source." Rinoa couldn't believe she was teasing about this, but there was nothing else left to do but laugh. If everyone else already dictated her sex life, she might as well ask the 'important' question. "Can I ask how was it?"

Selphie leaned over to share the not-so-secret secret. "Well, rumor has it that he was so exhausted afterward that he fell right into bed. So tired even that he didn't have the strength to move his stuff into his new SeeD room and made poor Zell do it all. So, I guess you broke him or something."

"Wow. That is way, way better than I remember the rest of the night going. After dancing with Squall, for some reason I was under the impression that I talked to Cid before leaving Garden… Guess not so much."

"Well, see, now you know that 'talking to Cid' is actually some euphemism for 'having hot-monkey-sex' with the good-looking SeeD guy."

"Thanks, now I'm going to be sick," Rinoa stated dryly.

After reconsidering her words, Selphie wholeheartedly agreed. "Uggh, barf… Why did I say that? Now every time someone says they need to 'talk to Cid' I'm going to think hot-monkey-sex."

…With that mental image now seared into her brain, Rinoa realized that she would have to look for a new job.

* * *

The sound of her whip sliced through the air. The crack was bone chilling on its own, but with Quistis' abilities, a dance both graceful and exact, it became a deadly combination. Squall would never deny her skill as it was truly extraordinary. It had been a long time since they had fought alone beside one another.

This was a relatively easy battle, so he let her take it. The warrior side of him couldn't help but be taken aback by her talent. Watching as the Grat fall limp, he noticed a fluidity to her movement that he'd never paid attention to; it was hard to admit, but nobody he'd ever fought beside possessed something so natural. In the past, he had focused squarely on only what was in front of him, but now taking a moment to observe without old prejudices, he could recognize the skill.

Fighting alongside her brought his mind back to his field exam. That had been well over a year now – it could have been a lifetime ago. It again proved to him how much life itself had changed. The commander was never big on saying 'changed' in regards to himself or people in general. He never believed he had 'changed' because, in his mind, that would imply that he 'fixed himself' for an outside source.

He had grown; he would admit that, maybe going as far as saying matured. Of course, that was still an ongoing process. Then again, so was life.

But being here now and watching his former instructor take down the enemy reminded him of the Fire Cave. Squall could still recall his irritation - when he thought of her less as an instructor and more as a burden. With Quistis, it never felt like it was about teaching him as a student, but about treating him as an equal; it was about wanting to be his confidant, his best friend (or more).

They weren't best friends.

They really weren't now either.

But still they were different.

He still got annoyed with her. Then again at times he got annoyed with everyone, himself and Rinoa included.

Yet, for the last thirty minutes Quistis wasn't trying to be his best friend, his friend, or anything else for that matter. She hadn't tried to get him to open up or talk about feelings like some arm-chair psychiatrist. He really liked this Quistis – the one who had let it go upstairs.

"Thank you."

Saying that felt strange. Squall certainly didn't think he'd be the one to speak first, yet there it was. He blamed this new personality quirk on Rinoa's influence – it was damn confusing.

The instructor was just as confused. Raising an eyebrow she questioned, "For what?"

"For not making me explain."

"Well, you said you were fine. I've got to respect that."

Shaking his head, he rested his weapon the training room floor. "Even if you know it's not true?"

" _Especially_ because I know it's not true."

"You confuse me."

She shrugged.

"Well you confused me. Call us even."

At times she knew a lot about him but, in the same respect, she knew little. Squall Leonhart was constantly a paradox.

"You'll talk in your own timeframe - when you're ready. _If_ you're ready."

"Maybe." He wasn't entirely convinced of her words or her letting it go so easily. Old habits and all that, now he wondered if this was reverse psychology. "I find it hard to believe you tracked me down just to be satisfied by a simple 'fine.' You had something you wanted to say. You still do."

She inwardly smiled _there_ was the combative personality she knew. This moment felt like coming home again.

"Fine. To some degree, you're right... But my stopping by was never about giving advice. You and Rinoa are my friends. I wanted to offer my support in any way I could - from listening, to annihilating Grats, and everything in between. I'm here."

She smiled kindly, brushing the sweat-dampened hair from her face. Her tone then became sympathetic; she knew what it was like to live her life under a microscope. "Squall, I understand that you're a guarded person and that article took a very personal aspect of your life and made it a tongue-in-cheek joke. And then, after last night Rinoa staying the night and then this morning, I wanted to check on you – and no, you don't owe me an answer. You're a friend, knowing someone's here is important. I wanted to know how she's doing too. Though after how upset you were in your office and the fact that you're in the training center, killing everything with a rather obvious vengeance… Well, that's answer enough. Some people speak through words, you speak through action."

The commander had listened - to some degree.

He couldn't say that he hadn't tuned her out, but this time it was for a very specific reason. How would Quistis know about him being with Rinoa? Yes, there was that off chance that she'd run into his girlfriend but, if that had been the case, why would she ask how Rinoa was handling everything?

There was something about this he didn't like. Call it a gut instinct or intuition. Hell, call it knowing how completely asinine students could be. For the first time since they stopped to talk, he scanned the area making sure no one was around. Seeing it clear, he quickly ushered Quistis off of the main pathway. Not that he was a fan of this place the least, but he stormed ahead into the secret area hoping to talk privately. Plus, the last thing he wanted was to get drawn into some damn battle right now – mainly a plant or dinosaur. Instinct told him that he might not feel the same way about some of Garden's more human residents when all was said and done.


End file.
